Here we go again 😕
Hiya all, not having the best of times mentally to the point where I’ve considered having a chat with the Samaritans, I’m in a constant state of worry relating to my home, benefits and spending far too much time thinking what if, I feel I’m existing more than living and find myself staggering from one issue to the next, to give an idea I was consumed by my pip review I’ve had a medical issue since birth but I waited over a year for a decision, got a favourable outcome but now I’m in a cycle of waiting for the post, constantly checking my emails and logging onto UC worried about a LCWRA review, I haven’t as yet had notification but my mind is in such a poor place I’ve convinced myself to look out for a letter or email which leads me on to thinking “what if” again.
I’ve recently went through 12 talking therapy sessions but I find myself catastrophizing constantly, ironically if someone from the DWP could see me now they’d be saying he needs a doctor more than a job, I’ve cut myself off from friends and family and daily prefer to block the outside world out, my sleep is massively effected and as I write this I have a dull ache in my chest which I know is stress related.
I often think you’ve less pressure in a job as long as you do as you’re asked as opposed to being reliant upon benefits as the axe can fall at anytime and often indiscriminately.
Sorry for the depressing content of my message it’s just easier to talk to relative strangers sometimes.
Comments
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You can work with reasonable adjustments for disability and aquire disability benefits, which could be less stressful as you would have less time to think about it all and would not totally depend on benefits. Some jobs have home working too. Just an idea? Also if you work sleep improves as you are tired? I am disabled and do as described and have a good balance, we all have certain choices in life, give some thought and turn your life around maybe. Work is not about doing as your asked, don't forget when you take a job you asked them for it, they pay you to do what they need.
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Bless you , I'm so sorry that you are struggling at the moment like you are , there is nothing more tiring than a mind that doesn't stop! I too suffer in exactly the same way & it's extremely draining & tiring , it would be wonderful if we had an off switch just to be able to rest our own minds sometimes 😌 I have had my lcwra assessment a few yrs ago & honestly it's nothing like your own mind is telling you , they are very nice people it's not anything to worry about, please get yourself some help until you get over this stressful time X
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It's so hard to lift out of a negative mindset. Calling Samaritans is not, actually, a bad idea. You need help to shift that stubborn negativity. That won't change your financial situation though. Citizen's Advice and, I think, some other charities could check your situation. Benefits, budget, etc. Sometimes just shaking that negativity that has your brain in it's clutches is enough to make it's lose it's grip. It won't happen overnight. Good luck.
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Hi @inaspin, sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment, but it's great that you've felt able to reach out to get your feelings off your chest. Sometimes you hear people talking about how easy it must be for others to live a life on benefits, but that really isn't the reality at all. The pressures and worries can be really debilitating especially when you're already dealing with other things.
We're going to send you an email today so please look out for that. But in the meantime please rant away as much as you need to, that's what we're all here for. Lots of our members have been in similar situations so you're not alone here.
I know you said you'd isolated yourself, but is there anyone in your friends and family you feel like you could get back in touch with to let them know how you're feeling? I'd understand if that doesn't feel possible at the moment. As you say, sometimes it's easier to chat to strangers than reach out to people you know.
I hope the community can provide some comfort and things start feeling easier for you soon 💜
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I have been and am likely to be in the future in the same dark place/feeling you describe. Just recently I got highly stressed over bank statement/passport proof of I'd benefit review. I've also been on lcwra group for years due to long term mental illness. I feel guilty and undeserving at times, but if I can't work because I CAN'T work due to my mental illness, then what am I, what are we supposed to do? Forcing myself to work has gone wrong for me in the past. I'm sorry you are suffering too. The sense from media/govt that we are 'skivers' not 'strivers' is most unhelpful. You are not alone is the only comfort I can offer you. Please reach out for support. Samaritans for starters
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Calling the samaritans is a good idea. I did it and they are a friendly non judgemental ear and you can talk about it all. If you are feeling like it is a mental health crisis though please seek help fro your GP. I too am struggling with whole benefits thing and feeling In a constant state of anxiety and my doctors are being really helpful with no judgement. Stay safe xx
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Thank you for sharing. How are you now? You are not alone… this is me too, right now. I can hardly breathe due to the stress of deep and moving over to UC. Occasionally I think of trying to be an activist and calling my mp. But? Ironically, I aM not well enough.
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LCWRA review is far more relax than other ones like pip..I think we all going through this stress of waiting for letters emails etc . I currently waiting to hear about my pip but thanks to the people here I just try to not think about it
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Hiya everyone, thanks so much for your kind words, don’t mind saying I had a few tears reading the words of support, I’ve also had a little bit of lunch which helped.
When I think back to when I was younger I never understood mental health, I always thought try having my physical disability, how wrong I was, the mind is so complex.
Last week I attended a life long friends wife’s funeral (very rare outing) and I met up with half a dozen very old friends one was very surprised after when I explained in basic terms how much I’m struggling, he wanted to visit but I don’t want him or anyone else to see me at home when I’m feeling the way I am, as I said to him I’m tired of putting on a show, I think it’s due to nerves I act as if I’m good when I’m in the company of others, something I’ve perfected over the years.
In moments of clarity I think really what’s the worse that can happen with the DWP, in my low moments I think the bank statement review was only me, my pip review was only me, the proposed changes are only targeted at me, when in reality we’re all going through it, saying that I do remember when I first applied for LCWRA the interviewer put down I walk from the car park into the doctors without any issue, which I pushed back against saying check with my doctor when I last visited his surgery ( always have phone appointments) and secondly ask if they’ve a car park.
Thanks again everyone for your advice and consideration, I plan to act on the advice given. x2 -
Ive used the Samaritans too. They don’t judge but just listen. You can call them anytime you feel like you need to. I can say that at one point they possibly saved my life.
The stigma around getting benefits will never change but people who say that have never been in the position to use them.
Well lucky them! They have no idea and I wish I didn’t have to. BUT if you are ill and cannot work what are you supposed to do? Live in a tent on a field and eat grass?
It’s no wonder you feel low. The stress of just filling out the paperwork is making me feel worse too.
There are always people here you can talk to. It can be life saving. Citizens advice are now helping with my paperwork. Just an idea. Also, please seek help for a doctor.
I hope you soon manage to get some light in that dark space 🫂
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Have the chat with Sammaritans…. it's never good to keep these things to yourself. Also reconnect with your family and friends and get out of the house and try a walk in a park or by the seafront. Don't give DWP that power over your life, you are more than your condition.
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Thanks @SeablueMary , your words are true about not giving the DWP that power over you, I suppose it’s just my mind at the moment, previously I’ve had advice along the lines of live your life best you can and face whatever comes your way on the day, sometimes easier said than done but I’d like to get to that place at some point.
One thing I hate and maybe again it’s just the way I’m feeling even if I could get out to the park I’d make it clear to the DWP that it’s the exception rather than the rule, cause before I knew it they’d have me out digging the roads 🙄.0 -
I totally understand I was same last year exactly as you say always convinced I'd loss everything when I opened my eyes it started all over again didn't leave my room even going to bathroom was an effort to go out of My room couldn't eat broken sleep 24/7 I was phoning smaratians scope anxiety uk out of my mind my daughter and dad was beside themselves I had to dig dig dig deep to start pulling myself out of the terror that filled my mind body that was a year ago I haven't lost my house I haven't been forced to work I was online all day reading all horror stories on tik tok It was torturous but lovely people on here made me relize if anything did happen wouldn't be over night look at posts saying all charities fighting for us everyday your not alone you have everyone here my one fear in life is losing everything I cant enjoy today as my mind is running a million steps ahead my mind like a film playing out all the worst senerios I can imagine your not eating drinking properly everyday do something small could be anything but make sure you eat little often try to be kind to yourself big hugs you will get through this x
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God bless you, I wish you knew how he loves you and wants to help you. If you ever want help, just ask him, he would never force his help on you, so you do need to ask.
I don't know you at all, but you are worthwhile, precious and your life counts. If you can't get out into nature then do something you enjoy, sing a song you enjoy or one that's funny, have a laugh… these things are to let you know that the world is more than what is in your head. If we keep looking at and concentrating on our issues in our head, they just spin around and seem to get bigger and bigger.
It's good every now and again to do something not in your head, take up a hobby, draw, make something, knit or even mend something or watch a feel good movie . You can take the initititve and get out of your head.
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Start reaching out I do the sane I isolate because I couldn't bare someone confirming My fears or calling me silly uses to hate it when someone said go for a walk distract yourself but there's some truth in that it does help little often have you anything that you really like films music hobbies if you do try to absorb focus on that it's easy to get caught up for hours in your head
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Thanks @Catherine21 , ironically my issues with isolation really kicked in during covid as I followed the rules to the letter and living alone eventually the isolation became the norm and now I find it hard to break the cycle, the house is my safe space.
I’ve made an appointment with my doctor for a medication review, first little positive step.
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Very positive it's hard reaching out you think last 5 years we been bombarded with everything and being disabled on top is really hard my house is my safe space too first step is always with doctors tell them everything and slowly slowly the anxiety won't be as terrifying tomorrow might feel anxious going to doctors do s mantra I'm doing this for myself over and over sorry I sound so bossy let us know how you get on honestly this forum helped me so so much your safe here goodluck for tomorrow x
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