Holidays/security/thoughts/candles/memory

Agnia

Hi ,

last year it was hard for me and today it’s also hard for me that i can’t be there in person to clean the graves and to light the candles, candles are burning in Polish cemeteries today and it is a day off from work today , time to meet loved ones, a time to remember those who have passed away , tomorrow is All Souls Day,

i came to England to work here and i fell in love with England , my family would never be able to take such a step to come to a foreign country i know this because my mother told me, if i let out all the feelings that i swept under the rug i would feel even worse, i didn’t go on holiday at all because i had my own company to run and it has always been more important to me that the people working there go on vacation/trips than me , a company that was like my child to me , i have never been attracted to warm countries i would rather travel around England and that’s how it was when i was in a relationship with an English boyfriend( on weekends we drove around England )or to travel to Poland , there are so many beautiful places to see in England and in Poland , i had a National Trust membership in the past , if i could choose any place for example which one to visit now i would never choose Egypt,

previously i was very interested in crime science and i liked psychological thrillers

im now burning a candle for my grandparents in my flat , tomorrow is All Souls Day , because i was very interested in criminology in the past as well as unsolved crimes i would never go on holiday alone for example to Egypt, i would never go there even with an accompanying person, Egypt is the last place on earth that i would like to visit, i remember what i felt watching videos on YouTube about Magdalena Żuk who died in Egypt and her fight in hospital, this case was on the minds of all of Polish people , i remember feeling helpless angry and many other feelings and i remember what i felt here in England when i asked for help and what response i received and how i felt when i had a neighbour who invited men over at night and how scared i was and my mother asked me if they invited me to drink with them, ( i don’t drink and i don’t smoke at all , i got traumatised, i still haven’t gotten over it and i thought about her as well and the fear that poor Magda felt in Egypt i believe she was sold by her boyfriend , im very afraid of staying in mental hospital i can’t imagine what she felt and being there alone they made her look crazy and they drugged her with very strong drugs

Kind regards

Bluebell21

Hi @Agina Please know we are here for you. Take care.

Agnia

Hi Bluebell

Thank you very much

Please take care

Albus_Scope

Hey @Agnia I remember you saying before that this is often a difficult time for you, but I'm glad you're able to light some candles for your grandparents and keep them in your thoughts.

Agnia

Hi Albus Scope

Thank you so much

Please take care

Agnia

Hi ,

im burning candles in my flat , today is All Souls Day 🙏

Kind regards

Bluebell21

I hope your day is not too sad and that you can remember the good times you had with your grandparents. @Agnia

Agnia

Thank you so much Bluebell ♥️

it is sad if i can be honest , and i sweep my feelings under the rug

Rachel_Scope

It sounds like a lovely tradition @Agnia. Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel whatever emotions you need to.

Agnia

Hi Rachel Scope

Thank you very much ♥️

Agnia

Agnia