Loneliness?
Hi everyone. I always been quite indepandant. I have lots of friends but i prefer my own company.
Sometimes when the evening comes especially, i start to feel really sad.
Thing is, yes i do have lots of friends, and i can always find people to help me, but i dont think any of them understands how i actually feel. They say they do, but i doubt it.
So i think maybe reaching out to someone who is in the similar boat might help me rid of these negative emotions.
Does this sound like loneliness?
Comments
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Heya @kelics sorry to hear you're feeling that way. Loneliness can affect anyone, at any time and I'm sorry it's getting to you. I'm sure your friends would do their best to understand if you explained things to them? I bet they'd hate to know how you're feeling.
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Hi @kelics Sometimes we can be surrounded by family and friends and still feel lonely.
I sometimes thing we expect people to be mind readers as to us we are explaining ourselves well. Perhaps try explaining how you feel to a couple of your friends and see how they respond.
Good luck. Take care.
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I hardly feel lonely I find company very draining I've become very reclusive it's like define lonley very hard emotions when I was younger and longing to fit in I felt lonely now I relized I have so many thoughts feelings it's hard to entertain anyone but I suppose I've become more honest now instead of masking constantly I suppose it would be hard to understand me as I'm always turned out well hair makeup come across as I'm in control amd that's the side I let myself be seen as I would never let my foot of the pedal and when I tried to explain myself people were like oh your be ok your strong when inside I'm dying I suppose it comes down to people only understand things from thier perspective and I'm understanding being adhd autistic waiting for assessment but definitely am people don't think the way I do I hear the tone I see the facial expressions I'm homed into people's thoughts feelings I'm sensitive to light sounds everything is overwhelming and 20 times harder for me than anyone who hasn't got these issues I suppose if I pushed myself when younger I could have a group of friends and not all of them would or did understand but still friends it's good you have a circle of friends we all have our paths to follow we all bring something different to the party what I'm understanding it's ok to be me I don't give explanations anymore I except people if they except me my thoughts are if we understand ourselves and break the barrier I'm 52 and all the things I used to be embarrassed about I will say ie I wear sunglasses constantly one I feel no one really sees me and Bright lights I will say I'm sensitive to light sorry go off topic maybe negative feelings come from feeling you can't truly be yourself or your unhappy with how people respond it's ok to have negative feelings it's when you feed them I developed body dismorphia so it's positive you have friends that you can turn to you have to ask yourself what your expectations are of certain people maybe sorry I always ramble pls excuse spelling
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Hi yes they would try to help but i think its nice to get to know people and their struggles who r in the same boat :)
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No im not going to do that. Because when im with people, im a happy man, best to discuss this on a forum
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I am single, childless, live alone. I'm well used to my own company and extremely independent.
I'm a very socialable person with a lot of love and affection to give. It's hard.
I am at peace with no kids it's the lack of a niece/nephew that causes me angst, my family is so small we don't breed like rabbits as most families tend to, the deaths outstrip the births.
I also love living alone, I waited long enough to do so, but that doesn't mean I enjoy spending so much time alone and I am very unhappily single- I'm 37 and been so my whole life except "the blip" of one relationship which lasted 4 & 1/2 months.
I absolutely understand how you feel, the evenings can really drag and get lonely this time of year, I like going for a a pre dinner walk in spring/summer/autumn as that keeps my mood high going into the evening, but this time of year that just isn't possible.
Even as an avid reader there are only so many times you can feel fulfilled/content reading or doing the same other solo activities in the evening, day after day.
I found out at the weekend my twice weekly evening exercise class is ending, so while I might be able to find a once weekly replacement, that's yet another evening likely spent home alone 😢 And losing such regular contact with friends I have made there.
I think others in different situations can emphasise, but they can't really understand the loneliness we feel, all my friends have partners and kids, as much as they complain about having no free time they absolutely wouldn't swap their kids & partner for such a solitary life. They might be tempted at times though 😂
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That's same as my daughter she will be 30 next week brought flat good job goes gym wide group of friends and she's single I didn't think from that aspect and it really hurts me when she says all my friends are with partners and getting married she's been to three hen dos and weddings I really feel for her she said I never thought I'd be 30 and on my own but I know it will happen for her she's very level headed unlike me so never say never watch this space for both of you x
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Thank you for your kind words.
I never could have expected this is where my life would end up.
In some ways I'm genuinely happy, in others very unhappy.
Kids aren't possible for me, that door is closed.
I also know child envy is only the start, in another 20 years it'll be grandchildren envy 😕
I always hope to find another relationship but I'm not terribly optimistic to be honest.
It's abnormal for me to have had one! Still surprised it happened!
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Its like when your longing for something you see it more around you ie friends engagements weddings and think it never will be you my daughter says exactly the same and I know she turns it inwardly but like I say to my daughter you could meet someone tomorrow next month next year and it could be like you never been single I understand the dating sites are so hard to navigate joined one at 44 whoa I was shocked but there is someone for everyone you are no different from anyone else who is dating or married and as you say exactly like my daughter does she loves having her space she's very independent kind caring beautiful inside and out knows what she wants she just has to find so I always say focus on yourself and in time this will happen you just have to believe xx
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I appreciate your kind words, I've heard similar from friends/family over decades now so unfortunately I don't really believe them any more. Although even they've stopped saying "oh it will happen for you" 😂
I certainly feel different because I've only had one relationship and that's just not normal.
I've found great personal happiness in many areas over the last few years, several things that really fulfil me but that doesn't stop the loneliness of being alone.
Anyway, I don't want to derail OP's thread with my woes 😊
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Its good you have many intreast and are fulfilled in many aspects of your life and someone will see all your qualities just because it hasn't happened doesn't mean it won't x
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Well your definitely not pathetic to me or anyoneo on here you have been my lifeline god your support helped me so much I was crawling the walls with anxiety and terror yh your having a child when you have mental health can be impacting I have many regrets over the years breakdowns drama I think when you gone through rocky relationships you become guarded yes not for me but I do feel for people who want to find someone as the world has changed so much who knows what tomorrow brings god my spelling bad I type as I'm thinking you got loads of friends on here and we cherish you x
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I came from a big close family so I was always used to having a lot of company living in a small house.
Over the years we naturally went our seperate ways and now I hardly ever see any of them.
I moved away for my career and they all still live in our home town.
I miss them but they don't visit me even though I live in a popular seaside resort and I have a spare bedroom.
I have severe travel phobia so I am unable to visit them.
I do feel lonely when they get together for family occasions but it is what it is.
I have a lot of friends here but I live alone and the evenings can be lonely especially when it gets dark so early.
I find it depressing but I listen to my favorite music and I watch all of the soaps on .tv
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What do u watch/listen to?
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I watch all the soaps, documentaries, politics live and Irish films mainly.
I listen to 70's music and Irish music.
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I'm in exactly the same boat as you and it's an awful feeling, I'm so sorry you're dealing with it too. Sending love ❤️
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Im the same like yourself used to yearn people but would get so triggered by them I'm a great empath and vultures seems to be drawn to this nature the outside world has noting to offer me apart from pain great emotional distress honestly even talking is a burden it's ok if it's for 10 mins can mask that but day in day out no way I live in my head and no amount of therapy has helped with this with everything going on I know I won't make it my mum said your be surprised what you can do when you have too she doesn't believe MH even if my life depends on it I wouldn't leave the house to go to work I've been there before I'd phone In sick and hide in bed all day crying anyways an island with animals would be amazing
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Same as me I mask well for 10 mins but day in day out when I did work this manager bullied me I had complete breakdown I went off my head I left the job but I was sending hundreds of voicemails to her went on for good few weeks couldn't stop myself I got arrested they told me not to contact her again I came home and messaged her I'm not proud but when I feel threatened I'm a totally different person I wish the goverment would leave us alone 😢 and definitely being an empath is so draining I used to think I was psychic I used to think of people from years ago and then dump into them hope you have a relaxing day x
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