Loneliness?

kelics
kelics Community Member Posts: 99 Contributor
in Mental health and wellbeing

Hi everyone. I always been quite indepandant. I have lots of friends but i prefer my own company.

Sometimes when the evening comes especially, i start to feel really sad.

Thing is, yes i do have lots of friends, and i can always find people to help me, but i dont think any of them understands how i actually feel. They say they do, but i doubt it.

So i think maybe reaching out to someone who is in the similar boat might help me rid of these negative emotions.

Does this sound like loneliness?

Comments

  • Albus_Alumni
    Albus_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 11,373 Championing

    Heya @kelics sorry to hear you're feeling that way. Loneliness can affect anyone, at any time and I'm sorry it's getting to you. I'm sure your friends would do their best to understand if you explained things to them? I bet they'd hate to know how you're feeling.

  • kelics
    kelics Community Member Posts: 99 Contributor
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/936842#Comment_936842

    Hi yes they would try to help but i think its nice to get to know people and their struggles who r in the same boat :)

  • kelics
    kelics Community Member Posts: 99 Contributor

    No im not going to do that. Because when im with people, im a happy man, best to discuss this on a forum

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Community Member Posts: 8,727 Championing
    edited November 2024

    I am single, childless, live alone. I'm well used to my own company and extremely independent.

    I'm a very socialable person with a lot of love and affection to give. It's hard.

    I am at peace with no kids it's the lack of a niece/nephew that causes me angst, my family is so small we don't breed like rabbits as most families tend to, the deaths outstrip the births.

    I also love living alone, I waited long enough to do so, but that doesn't mean I enjoy spending so much time alone and I am very unhappily single- I'm 37 and been so my whole life except "the blip" of one relationship which lasted 4 & 1/2 months.

    I absolutely understand how you feel, the evenings can really drag and get lonely this time of year, I like going for a a pre dinner walk in spring/summer/autumn as that keeps my mood high going into the evening, but this time of year that just isn't possible.

    Even as an avid reader there are only so many times you can feel fulfilled/content reading or doing the same other solo activities in the evening, day after day.

    I found out at the weekend my twice weekly evening exercise class is ending, so while I might be able to find a once weekly replacement, that's yet another evening likely spent home alone 😢 And losing such regular contact with friends I have made there.

    I think others in different situations can emphasise, but they can't really understand the loneliness we feel, all my friends have partners and kids, as much as they complain about having no free time they absolutely wouldn't swap their kids & partner for such a solitary life. They might be tempted at times though 😂

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Community Member Posts: 8,727 Championing
    edited November 2024

    Thank you for your kind words.

    I never could have expected this is where my life would end up.

    In some ways I'm genuinely happy, in others very unhappy.

    Kids aren't possible for me, that door is closed.

    I also know child envy is only the start, in another 20 years it'll be grandchildren envy 😕

    I always hope to find another relationship but I'm not terribly optimistic to be honest.

    It's abnormal for me to have had one! Still surprised it happened!

  • Kimi87
    Kimi87 Community Member Posts: 8,727 Championing
    edited November 2024

    I appreciate your kind words, I've heard similar from friends/family over decades now so unfortunately I don't really believe them any more. Although even they've stopped saying "oh it will happen for you" 😂

    I certainly feel different because I've only had one relationship and that's just not normal.

    I've found great personal happiness in many areas over the last few years, several things that really fulfil me but that doesn't stop the loneliness of being alone.

    Anyway, I don't want to derail OP's thread with my woes 😊

  • luvpink
    luvpink Community Member Posts: 4,738 Championing

    I came from a big close family so I was always used to having a lot of company living in a small house.

    Over the years we naturally went our seperate ways and now I hardly ever see any of them.

    I moved away for my career and they all still live in our home town.

    I miss them but they don't visit me even though I live in a popular seaside resort and I have a spare bedroom.

    I have severe travel phobia so I am unable to visit them.

    I do feel lonely when they get together for family occasions but it is what it is.

    I have a lot of friends here but I live alone and the evenings can be lonely especially when it gets dark so early.

    I find it depressing but I listen to my favorite music and I watch all of the soaps on .tv

  • kelics
    kelics Community Member Posts: 99 Contributor
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/937721#Comment_937721

    What do u watch/listen to?

  • luvpink
    luvpink Community Member Posts: 4,738 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/938824#Comment_938824

    I watch all the soaps, documentaries, politics live and Irish films mainly.

    I listen to 70's music and Irish music.

  • dreamerdreams_
    dreamerdreams_ Scope Member Posts: 25 Contributor

    I'm in exactly the same boat as you and it's an awful feeling, I'm so sorry you're dealing with it too. Sending love ❤️

Categories