Boyfriend has lack of any sexual interest with me 🥲

Ali13

Hi. I don’t feel that my boyfriend has any interest in any sexual contact with me. I can’t remember the last time he made me climax, as he’s not interested in giving me foreplay!. I was diagnosed with severe MS and we’ve been together 30 yrs, but I feel starved of any sexual act - doesn’t have to be sex, even though I hardly get sex. Since diagnosis 9 years ago, I feel low with having no close time! I’m crying a lot as it feels like MS has won. Please help, as I’d love and need more sexual contact - it’s helps bonding. I feel low and can’t - his libido must be low, as he’s 51!?

Rachel_Scope

Hi @Ali13. Have you spoken directly to your husband about your feelings? I know it may be a difficult conversation but he might not be aware that it's affecting you like this. Are there any other issues or is it just the lack of sexual acts?

You might find the MS Society forums useful as there may be others in your situation.

queenkatey

I am struggling with this with my husband as well. He started taking blood pressure tablets and his sex drive has vanished! It's been a lonely couple of years but was hoping for some help here. He even forgets the little touches now and it hurts. But when I told him he was hurt he forgot. It's all in the depression and blood pressure stress. Somedays are worse than others

Rosie_Scope

I'm really sorry to hear that @queenkatey, it's a difficult situation, especially as your husband's health is important. Maybe you could have a gentle chat about how to put some intimacy back into your relationship?

It sounds silly, but even scheduling in specific time each day or during the week to be with each other might be helpful. It doesn't have to go all the way to sex if he's not interested, you can always start slow by just making time for cuddles and see where it goes from there. Take it all step by step. Nobody should be feeling pressured, and it's important that neither of you feel ashamed or blamed for what's happening either. Hope you can find a way forward soon 😊

Ali13

I’m so sorry @queenkatey - I feel you, as it’s nice to have that sexual bond between you and your partner /husband it does feel lonely and you’d just like a bit of close time with him. I sometimes feel that my long term boyfriend seems to feel that sex or just foreplay is an inconvenience. I know he’s not well, but surely he has urges. I just feel low and like you, just would like his closeness & his touch. I hope you can work it out. Just little steps if he’s not well. Go at his pace as you don’t want to feel that you’re pressuring him. Hopefully if I hear from you again those little steps have increased 🤞❤️. Take care x

photojim

Im in a similar boat. My wife hasn't been intimate with me for years, she says she doesn't want to risk causing me any pain, but think it's just an excuse. Feel we are drifting apart, I just want to feel anothers touch

Relinn

the TLC trust has some good service providers that offer different services, experiences and caters for all

shereen77

Hy Ali! I'm new to all this, but I can totally relate! My partner took on the task of full time carer when I became disablede. Everything was fine, we still had a good physical connection. However, as time went on, it all got to much and although we still had sexoccasionally, he stoped, saying it rely just like another care task that he was required to preform. I'd advice you to try and have a frank and open discuss job with you're partner. You might just find that he may be feeling the pressure as well! and Ali…I don't know however you're illness has progressed. Myself I cannot preform any "fun" activities now and I hate myself for tat . But as I told my ex, just a few days ago( we had a very sexually adventurous relationship for 7 years) if nothing else works… I can still use my mouth!😘