How to handle my pain

Bluesky123

Hi everyone how yous doing I'm too much in pain I got fibromyalgia anxiety megrains post traumatic stress disorder and depressive episode today my body is paining much especially my spine and shoulders and head ache I've tried hot water bottle don't work put on Vicks mental rub nothing works all this anxiety about were we gonna stay and peer pressure my children have to go threw if they don't have what other children have in our neighborhood anyway please if there is someone who can give me advice feel free to let me know

kitsmum

I too have anxiety and depression , fibro, mecfs artritis and others. I am feeling Christmas anxiety. My advice would be that you just do what you can do for your family. It doesn't matter if they don't have the same as others as long as they have you. If they do get peer pressure the handle it when it happens. Please cut yourself some slack. I know children can be cruel and it's hard but please try and live in the moment not in what ifs. Look up grounding techniques - they help. Try talking to your family about how you feel if that would be helpful. Regarding the fibro have you got adequate pain relief? Try a d get on top if the stress because that makes it worse. Try to keep warm with layers so you don't keep going from boiling to too cold. Make sure you have enough rest breaks. Keep yourself safe and remember to access the group where you'll get understanding and support. Hope that was helpful but if not ignore it. You know you best. Gentle hugs.

Elizabeth100

Oh my goodness, this sounds so hard on you, so go easy on yourself, it is not your fault…do you have a good GP who could re-assess your needs to take more of the pain away?

There is also a thing called social prescribing, available from many GP surgeries, I believe, that could put you in touch with other organisations that could help you. Kitsmum is right, children can be mean and tease those without, but there will be nice children, too, who have been taught not to judge.

If you have access to a local food bank (again, no judgement, lots of people use them) they might know where you can get some gifts for the children. Sincere good wishes to you, E xx

JennieWren

Firstly it sounds really tough and you’re managing a lot. Be kind to yourself. It sounds like there’s 2 prongs to your post, one is Christmas stress and pressure and most people feel that to some degree, however when you’re in pain it exacerbates it. Secondly is that it seems you’re not getting enough support and pain relief. I hope the following helps.

Christmas is just getting so commercial and stressful. My daughter is now 21 and hardly remembers any specific presents she received at Christmas, but still likes to do all of our traditions eg putting up the tree, icing biscuits (I buy the gingerbread hearts from Tiger as can no longer bake like I used to - don’t do the gingerbread house thing as Jo one wants to break it up and so it goes soft and is wasted), icing the Yule log, going around the neighbourhood and looking at the lights and Christmas Eve we visit as many of the decorated Christmas postboxes as possible. None of which costs a lot. I don’t know how old your children are but I have several friends who buy quality toys, books, Christmas jumpers etc from the charity shops (however you do need to be pretty well to do that and with a disability Amazon is so much easier). Also do what makes your family happy - who says you need a traditional Christmas dinner. I have friends who make their own pizzas on Christmas Day, they’re together and they all love pizza. I’ve known others to do spaghetti bolognese as it’s their favourite meal. They make it special with a posh garlic bread and salad. They love it and so does their mum, who instead of being stuck in the kitchen tending a roast was able to pre cook and just heat up.

It’s worth contacting a food bank and if finances are a struggle permanently there’s a charity called Christians Against Poverty (CAP) they mainly help those in debt but often offer money management courses. I attended one and it really helped. They might also be able to refer you to other agencies.

If you can book a double appointment with your GP so that you get the time to discuss how to manage your pain and health in depth. I went on a pain management course over 20 years ago as all other non medical stuff (tens etc) wasn’t working. It might be worth asking if there’s something similar they could refer you to. I’m in Kent but did residential pain course in st Thomas’ London which was super helpful and I still use many of the techniques offered to this day. It’s a holistic approach where you get input from occupational therapists, physios, psychologists, anaesthetists etc

I’ve also managed to have a flexible approach to my meds so that on good days/weeks I can just take the minimum but have 3 more pain relief meds that can be taken (either separately or all together) if needed. Sometimes that’s still not enough but it does make you feel like you’re a bit more in control of your condition - only you know what you need. Some people find swapping heat and cold helpful, but the cold makes me worse. It’s a case of trying loads of things and seeing what works for you and your conditions. I hope that’s helpful.

Bluesky123

Hi thank you for replying guys I'm in cape town south Africa Christmas isn't the same like in your country I'm coming from a very poor family and with my husband passing on things got really bad for us my children are still teenagers and I only get child support grand from government which is R530 per child like I've said our government does not recognize fibromyalgia they say that a person can make it up I'm under occupational therapist and still had to go to two appointments before they will decide if I can receive dissibility I've was declined more than 7 times and it's really stressed out and normally put me in tears my life is a mess with no support system I've went through a lot off abuse my own father and I can stay with him cause I'm scared he will do it to my girls so heartbroken because off my illness most off the time we go to sleep without even eat anything my children finds it hard to focus in school and I don't take my meds regularly and can't fall asleep without them then after I'm in so much pain I'm drinking 6 sleeping pills at night and can't life without them I can walk far because my pain is mainly in my spine shoulders under my feet and head and if people want to bring stuff to help people in our community they get rob people are also scared to come here in our place because off shooting that almost happens every day many bullets enter our place and we must lay on the floor sometimes my landlord takes out our electricity leather because I can't buy electricity the thing is people won't help you here even if you ask for bread they say they only have for their children that hurts so much because when I still did work I help anyone even giving my last everybody's hearts are not the same we stay not far from a high school and get free WiFi from the school thank for your messages glad to know their is people that still care God bless