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My Pain Ruins Christmas

Topcat71

I will try my best to be happy at Christmas but my pain just ruins it for everyone. I don't feel comfortable in other people homes and I either feel tired because of medication or I just want to lay down with my back pain. So I told everyone I am staying at home this Christmas and it's not going down well.

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Comments

Lindsey54

HiTopcat71 Don’t let pain get the better of you. I had serious arm, back and shoulder pain. I was in road traffic accident some forty years ago. It was this accident changed my life. The damage done to my body was causing me problems thirty five years after the crash. I worked hard following my GP’s guidance plus a physio and I came out of that bad time. I found laying on the floor-in the recovery position with a cushion to give support. I found small changes made big differences. I still get some back pain but I am more in control of my pain.
Your pain problems are probably very different from mine but you can probably still use slow movements to find relief. Heat can give relief a bath that is hot enough to give relief but not enough to scold you.
Lastly I had good friends who were understanding. You have decided not to go anywhere during this Christmas time and people are not happy. They sound like some kind caring people who want to see you. Tell them that you want to come but not too long and explain how they can help to make things easier. Try it with help and honesty you might enjoy Christmas.
Good luck and I hope you enjoy your self what ever you decide.

Sandy_123

Hi @Topcat71 do what is best for you.

JennieWren

chronic pain is so draining and tiring under normal circumstances with all your home comforts/adaptions around you, and going elsewhere can really throw a spanner in our carefully balanced pain equilibriums.

You know your body best. I tend to think in pain calories, I know roughly how much increased pain I’ll have from various activities (all being equal, we know sometimes pain doesn’t play fair!) and if I can’t warrant the pain for that activity I don’t do it, do part or make allowances for following days to recover and get that pain score back down.

Try lots of things to see what does and doesn’t work for you. I have one specific pillow that improves my sleep on most beds, so I take that with me, even for a 1 night stay. I’ll also take various blow up travel cushions, not just for the journey, but to improve seating and night comfort.

I’ve found communication is key. I have some great friends and family (and others not so great) who have listened and watched me over the years, obviously I spend more time with the former! Over the years we’ve discussed my pain management techniques, the most helpful one being pacing my activities and posture. Being horizontal is often the only thing that will bring any sort of relief so they don’t bat an eye at me laying on the floor.

Most people don’t understand chronic pain (I’ve had mine for nearly 40 years) and can’t really remember being pain free just activities I used to be able to freely do. For at least the first 2 decades I tried to cover how much pain I was in as it seemed to make others uncomfortable, however I’m less willing to take that hit myself (maybe it’s the menopause 😂) and more freely explain or decline from activities. As others have stated maybe some,if fairly local, could pop in to you for a quick visit - some friends will even bring the food as it saves me a job, if not FaceTime or zooms are great and let the not so local ones know that you’ll be seeing people and have plans that you’re very happy with (even if that plan is getting a take away and watching a film or show), so they don’t worry.

Have a restful and peaceful Christmas.

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