Moving house - is it normal to feel like this?

starbuck

I'm sorry in advance about the self-pitying tone of this post. I'm the luckiest person in the world but I feel like that world is caving in around me.

After a lifetime of renting (including the lowest point of being made homeless with a young baby for some months) a very kind relative left me a legacy in his will, enough to buy a family home.

We moved into the house just before Christmas - not an ideal time I know! and my mental health has gone to pot.

We knew the house needed things doing to it and we figured we'd do them over time. Now we're in we've got dodgy electrics (electrician is booked first week of January to fix this) nowhere near enough sockets everywhere, boiler keeps breaking down (despite me having it serviced before we moved in to be sure it was safe) and the plumbing makes the most god-awful noises.

We didn't realise the shower is so tiny and my disabled husband cannot shower without help like he could in the wet room in the old house. Ever seen the shower scene in Elf? it looks like that 🤣

I'm just feeling scared to death with all the responsibility of this whole thing being mine. Anything that goes wrong - it's up to me to fix it now, not the housing association. I have ocd and it's gone through the roof since we moved. It doesn't help that my anxiety gets really bad if I have to have strangers in the house and with all the jobs that need doing I'm just going to have to suck it up.

I feel so ungrateful as this is a dream come true - an actual home of our own, yet I just keep bursting into tears at the drop of a hat.

Can anyone relate? Or am I just being the most ungrateful so and so ever?

durhamjaide2001

good luck with the house move

Albus_Scope

Hey @starbuck a belated merry Christmas to you and yours. 😊

It's totally possible to feel really grateful AND feel upset, it's a huge change for you, especially now, as you said, everything is your responsibility to fix. It's a lot to take in and getting a new home can be really overwhelming, so please go easy on yourself.

Bluebell21

Hi @starbuck I am sure you must be feeling totally overwhelmed by your new home which is now your responsibility.

Unfortunately until we move in we can never be sure how we will fit in to this new home. It is only then we realise how different things are to what we had in the past.

Please try to just do a bit at a time and try to enjoy your new home.

You will get there it just might a bit longer than you thought.

You are probably still tired and worn out with moving as it is a very stressful time.

Take care and I wish you a Happy New Year in your new home.

MW123

@starbuck

It’s completely normal to feel like this, especially after such a big life change. With the added stress of settling into a new home and dealing with all the repairs, it’s no wonder your anxiety is high. It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed right now.

When it comes to the house, if you haven’t already, I highly recommend getting building insurance. It’s usually not too expensive, but the peace of mind you’ll get knowing that issues like storm damage to the roof or property will be covered can make a big difference to your peace of mind.

If you're concerned about your boiler, it might be a good idea to explore boiler insurance with British Gas or another provider that offers both servicing and parts replacement. I've personally been on the British Gas Homecare plan for years, this includes an annual boiler service and covers any issues with your boiler or central heating system, including radiators and the hot water cylinder. It’s definitely worth considering.

Regarding your disabled husband’s shower situation, you might want to check with your local council about disabled facilities grants. It’s a means-tested scheme, so not everyone will be eligible, but a friend of mine was able to have a wet room installed through this, and while I’m not sure if she had to contribute anything toward it, it’s definitely worth asking about.

Lastly, remember that you’re not ungrateful at all. What you’re feeling is a natural response to the stress of adjusting to such a big change. It might help to break things down into smaller tasks and take things one step at a time. Also, if possible, try to reach out to friends or family for support, they may be able to help with some of the tasks or just offer emotional support during this time. Wishing you and your family all the best in your new home. xx

poppy123456

I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed about the house move. I think it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do, especially as things around the home aren't as you would like them to be.

The issue with not having enough of sockets its pretty normal these days. There's so many chargers.. phones, laptops, iPads/tablets and when there's multiple members of your household that list can treble. It's a nightmare most of the time. Properties these days just can't keep up with all those extra things that need to be charged. The older your property the worse it is. My daughter lives in a new build which is only a few years old and even she doesn't have enough of sockets to keep up with everything. For my house I use extension leads with multiple sockets.

For any adaptions your first step would be to refer your partner and anyone else in your home for a needs assessment from your local Authority. You would need to do this before applying for any disabled facility grant. See link.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/help-from-social-services-and-charities/getting-a-needs-assessment/

Hopefully once you start getting used to your surroundings things will be a little easier for you and your family.

starbuck

Thankyou everyone for the lovely comments. I find it hard to understand how I'm feeling so miserable and ungrateful. I will have to give it all time 😘

Catherine21

Totally understand the responsibility part when I was offered by housing association many moons ago a two bedroom house which I still live in I wasn't going to go for the viewing I was so scared of bills rent responsibility I had noting no furniture mattress on floor I was so scared so overwhelmed but I look back and think gosh imagine what my life would be if I didn't accept slowly slowly things will come together a

starbuck

Thankyou! Things are getting better now. We still have some things to sort out but I'm managing to get out and see the locality now and meet people and I'm not quite so panicked about things.

I'm no longer waking up in a cold sweat at night wondering where I am so it must be getting better 🤣

Jimm_Scope

It was a big change and a big step. It's normal to have concerns and worries! It sounds like you've processed them well, it just took some time and you know what needs to be done now. You did the right thing 🙂 I'm glad you're settling in better and I hope the work can be sorted out soon!