Going downhill a bit...

ShadowyBramble

Hi everyone, thank you for accepting me to the group. I am really struggling with my Autism at the moment. I live alone and normally venture out to see my parents twice a week but do get dressed and check the post and occasionally venture out to get milk etc.

I was unwell during the Christmas period both physically and mentally, I had about a month where I was hit with multiple viruses bronchitis. My sister has divorced her husband and moved in with parents which means when I visit it's a very big change as she also has a baby.

About two weeks ago my new routine started of most days waking up at 9:30am, going on social media and then going back to sleep until 3pm. Then watching some TV, having dinner and going to bed around 10pm. Other days where I don't sleep during the day it takes me until 2pm to have a bath and I don't want to wear clothes anymore so I wear PJs.

Mum rings me every night at 6pm and asks how my day has been and what I've done and I am embarrassed. I have nothing to say really.

I am trying so hard to try and do some of my volunteering that I used to do but haven't done that for a year or so, things have slowly been going downhill for me. I am also struggling with binge eating.I'm embarrassed. I also worry about what others think of me. If I am able to go out I can mask really well and because I am quite well spoken nobody knows how hard it is when I go behind shut doors.

Sorry this is all over the place, I'm just feeling really guilty at the moment.

Holly_Scope

Hi @ShadowyBramble it sounds like you’ve had quite the past few months. I can completely understand why you’re feeling this way. You might still be getting back to yourself after being unwell, especially if it meant you weren’t getting out as much. Sometimes I can be the same, I see it as habits for me and I have to give myself a kick to start doing the things I know will help me feel better, even if they’re daunting to begin with. I find a list of what I want to achieve each day helps, just small things to begin with but I appreciate it’s different for everybody.

It's nice that your Mum calls you every day. I’m sure she doesn’t mind if you’ve not done anything. She probably just wants to speak to you and make sure you’re ok. It’s also great you volunteer. Do you mind if I ask what type of volunteering you do? It’s always nice to hear about this type of thing.

It might be worth reaching out to your GP to see if there’s any support or advice they could give to help with how your feeling. And if you just need to talk to a stranger, I’ve added a link below to Samaritans who offer a 24/7 service, and someone to listen, without judgement to anything you want to talk about. And you have us here too. 💛

If you're having a difficult time | Samaritans

Please try not to be so hard on yourself. You have no reason to feel guilty. Sometimes you just need to get back to your core needs, and if that’s small things that’s ok. That’s nothing to feel guilty about.

Holly.

ShadowyBramble

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/968850#Comment_968850

Hi Holly,

Thank you so much for replying and for your warm words, I really appreciate it!

I will get in touch with my GP and also contact the Samaritans if I feel very overwhelmed, so thank you.

I do a few different things for volunteering, I sit on an accessibility and inclusion panel for a train company.

Hope you're having a good evening and thanks again for replying - I really appreciate it!

andteneyes

hello shadowybramble

I’m very new to this forum and want to say thank you for sharing. It is posts like yours that so many of us might relate to in some way or another, and by sharing your experience you never know who’ve you’ve helped.

For me, your post helped me feel less alone. So again, thank you.

Even if it takes a while to get back into your volunteering role, when you feel up to venturing out again, you’ll likely positively change many more people’s days.

I find for me, some things just take a bit of time, much longer than our culturally accepted standard. And you know what? It just is that way - so there! And when I make progress I often don’t always know how or why I did, just that it was worth it and I was right to ask for the help I needed when I did. Strangely I find help does seem to come in varying configurations and magnitudes and sometimes, unexpected corners of my life.

Wherever you are in the world I wish you some sunshine today

ShadowyBramble

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/969398#Comment_969398

Hey and a warm welcome to the forum, it's great to have you here and thank you very much for replying to my post.

I'm glad my post has helped you feel less alone and I really hope it has helped others not feel alone too.

Thank you so much for your warm words, it means a lot.

How are you doing today? I hope to see you posting more on the forum, even posting threads yourself so we can provide peer-support too. 🤗

andteneyes

Hello ShadowyBramble and thank you for your reply, some days I’m shyer than others :)

ShadowyBramble

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/970852#Comment_970852

No worries at all, it's okay to be quiet! Hope you had a good weekend.

andteneyes

hello shadowybramble, my weekend was unexpectedly productive. How are you today?

Bluebell21

Hi @ShadowyBramble I am so sorry you have been finding things so difficult. When we have been ill it can take some time to recover and feel ourselves again. This does not help with our moods and drags us down.

Just do small things. Perhaps start with brushing your teeth everyday then when you have done that you have achieved something that day. Then after a few days add something else in.

I enjoy your posts on the forum. Take care.