Hi, my name is liludallas! My son is 18 autistic. He rarely leaves the house.

liludallas

I know it's been a few years since you wrote about your son. I have the same situation. My son is 18 autistic. He's very smart but can not show it on work so college seems a long shot. He tells me all the time he's leaving( nobody has told him to leave) but he never does. I don't know maybe he will one day but my thoughts are he probably will not cope well with the "world". I've told him he can stay for however long he wants and my home is always there for him. He rarely leaves the house (irony) but to scooter around the cul de sac late at night. He doesn't like people and for the last year has isolated himself away from other family members. The world is hard enough for young adults to navigate but no matter how much support I offer this 6'0 big guy refuses all help. I wonder if this is delayed adolescence or will he be isolating for the rest of his life. He used to love new adventures but all that gusto is gone. Other adults I talk to think I can drag him to therapy but we all know you can't drag someone to do that. So all I can do if offer support, love, kindness and patience. Adulthood is not turning out like I had hoped for him but I pray everyday that he has peace with himself.

Holly_Scope

Hi @liludallas firstly, just wanted to say welcome to the community and thank you for sharing. I really feel for you both. That age is difficult as it is, without taking in to account the additional impact of autism.

It's a shame he feels college isn't a right fit for him. Is there something in-particular that he's passionate about that you could encourage him to lean into to make him feel happier? Also, I'm just thinking if there might be an alternative option more suited to him like an online course or an apprenticeship if he's keen to continue with learning? Also, does he have close friends he grew up with. If he's lost contact and is isolating, can you encourage him to make contact with them again? I'm really sorry if I'm suggesting things you've already tried.

I've done a little research and found a link which I hope is somewhat helpful - How to Deal With Loneliness: Helping Socially Isolated Teens.

It's lovely that you're so patient and supportive. I've no doubt that having that approach will help reassure him he has a safe space when he's ready to talk about his feelings. I appreciate you've said he won't attend therapy. Has he sought any support from his GP? There might be some other options available for him.

I can't imagine how this must feel for you - you're clearly a very loving and caring parent. Please make sure that you look after yourself too. 💛