My neighbour embarrassed me

Charlie5

Hi to all,I hope this does not appear silly to write,but my neighbour today really upset me and embarrassed me in front of a fellow neighbour.As I was passing to get to my home I stated on how nice his new shed was,he replied well if your ever have a quarrel you can always live in it,then replied oh yes but your single so you wont need it then laughed,in front of my other neighbour,I didnt know what to say i just wanted to get in my home.

It hurt my feelings as where I used to live I found my partner dead in his house(5 years ago) and since been single.I moved to my present home here 3 years ago.I get the impression my neighbour craves attention and will say hurtful remarks at everyones elses feelings.Its just upset me today,hope I am not coming across as over sensitive.Thankyou

SarahT41

Not silly or oversensitive at all.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for how painful those comments were.

I hope they weren't aware of how you lost your partner, but even if you hadn't it would be an awful thing to say.

You have every right to feel the way you do.

Charlie5

They knew how my partner died as I have spoken to them about him before.

Charlie5

He knew how he passed away as I have talked about my partner before to my neighbour

TiredHurty67

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/128479/my-neighbour-embarrassed-me

Hi Charlie5, it doesn’t sound silly at all. What an ignorant person your neighbour is and I doubt he is very well liked where you live. The fact that he knew of your loss and still made those comments disgusts me.

Give him a wide berth and think of what a horrible person he must be. I’m so sorry for you loss. Hope you are able to see him for what he really is x

IndignantPigeon

Hi Charlie, If that neighbour of your's who made the hurtful comment knew your history, he'd be stupidly callous. Maybe he didn't know and just made a thoughtless jibe? Either way, if i were on the receiving end I don't think I'd bother with them much, they're not the sort you want to put your trust in. I'd keep your feelings to yourself, he sounds a pretty empty sort of person, maybe as you imply, disgruntled and seeking attention. You might find your other neighbour is not like that at all + didn't like his comment.

It can be pretty hard trying to make a life when you lose someone so close and such a part of your life, and the feeling of having to face everything alone can make you feel very vulnerable. Try to put his silly remark to one side, he's not worth it Charlie. You deserve better.

And 3 years isn't long, give yourself time to get used to being on your own. When you feel up to it, reach out to those you could value. When I found myself alone I joined a walking group, which doesn't sound much but you would be surprised how many others are in exactly the same position as you and how much they'd value your company. That's the way to build confidence and face the future, which probably sounds very hard now without your partner by your side, but he wouldn't want you to be miserable for the rest of your time here. Best wishes xx

Charlie5

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/971961#Comment_971961

Thankyou for your message.Yes he is very ignorant I have seen he is a show off within where I live e,g tells everytime he buys something new for home,shows off in front of other neighbours than runs them down behind there back,I have done many favours for him and his wife since I moved here but I will not do anymore,And yes a wide birth is in place from here on.Thankyou for your kind words on my loss.Take care

SarahT41

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/971953#Comment_971953

That is awful behaviour and you would be completely justified in avoiding any further contact with them. I hope that you've found it a little helpful to hear some outside voices telling you that. Take care of yourself and hold your head high.