Stress about university

N826

hi,

so I have applied for university in September and I got an offer for one in Birmingham. I currently live in London with my parents and siblings (I’m the youngest at home) and I want to stay in uni accommodation (I’m gay, family are homophobic and this is my last option as social services won’t help me but i genuinely do want to go to uni) I’ve only told my mum about this offer, as I’m too scared to tell my dad and siblings about it. Because I’m the youngest, only daughter and a wheelchair user my family is extremely overprotective of me. My mum isn’t happy with me moving to Birmingham because I have no family in Birmingham (the closest is I have a cousin and her husband in Manchester) and as my mum is my full time carer, she is too worried about how I will cope physically wise with my needs. When I first told my mum, she didn’t even hug me, celebrate with me or happily tell me well done or that she’s proud of me. Because of this reaction, I’m stressed about how to tell rest of family (I tried the topic before but they all just got angry and shouted) but I’m just so sick of fighting and hiding and following their rules. If someone could give me some advice that would be great, especially a parent of a wheelchair user

SarahT41

Firstly congratulations on the offer! I'm so sorry that you aren't being properly celebrated by the people in your life.

I would reach out to the university's disability department and also the disabled students helpline:

SarahT41

Oops I sent that last one too soon! I also wanted to say that I really hope you have supportive people there for you, whether online or in person. I really hope that when you get to university you feel safer to live as your true self and surround yourself with people who love you for you!

Try and get as much sorted and organised in terms of support outside your family before you tell them, if you're worried about them not being supported. Remember to apply for disabled students allowance as well and search for any extra bursaries your university might offer.

SarahT41

Also while you're still in London, you might like the look of this - and you might like Lucy's book "The View From Down Here".

https://www.instagram.com/p/DBjh6wrIELk/

N826

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/979889#Comment_979889

thank you so much for this comment, it truly means everything to me