Is this deprecation of capital even though I didn’t do it for that?

Tomg2200

I mentioned in a post on Reddit about definitely being overpaid due to not fully understanding how the ESA worked due to my mental health issues and lack of support.
I have since been in by myself to try and get some help but I ended up having a panic attack while talking to the helpful lady and then went back later with my support worker,from a charity that I am getting help from to try and move out after struggling at home and a domestic violence incident,and they said about getting my bank statements and sending them off which I am doing but I’m just waiting for my bank to send them.

I’ve been able to look back to 2018 and have a guess at how much I would have to pay back but I couldn’t go any further than that.While having a think about it I’m fairly sure that I was never at 16k but I think the highest I ever got to was 14k and then I began to panic again.

While I was at 14k I was in the car with my Mum and we discussed then benefits and what I could/should be using them on and then we both decided that I should use them to help support my family since they house me and feed me and my cats and it is all paid for by my Mum.I gave my Mum 4k to help pay for things for me and the family and have been giving her money when she has asked for help or when I have thought it was ok like helping pay for the boiler to be serviced or helping to pay off her car to get rid of it or help with mortgage or tax stuff.

I have only just realised now that the 4k and other payments may just look like I’m trying to continue the benefits when all I was trying to do was help my family when I could.My support worker also thinks that I have been financially abused at points with some of the stuff my Mum has been asking for help with and that stresses me out even more.

If I explain the payments if I am asked about them will they understand or will they just think that I am lying and trying to get more money which will cause me all sorts of problems.I struggle with autism,depression,anxiety and an eating disorder and it was me that brought this up to try and repay what I shouldn’t have had after I realised.

I’m really scared about all this and I’ve barely been able to sleep and it’s making me feel constantly ill,if you have any advice or help then please let me know.

michael57

this is not having a go at you so dont think i am but why have you not been paying a weekly amount for your board and lodgings for all these years then you wouldnt be in this position now

Tomg2200

we never really worked it out that way,I was a carer for my dad and my sisters until my dad died and then I was looking after my sisters all the time.Support I have had in the past said that I shouldn’t be having to pay rent since I do so much work in looking after my sisters and things that it’s like a job already.

I do agree with what you are saying and if we had done it this way then it wouldn’t have been a problem.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @Tomg2200, sorry you're feeling so stressed out by this. The best thing you can do is be honest about what happened with your money. I'm afraid I can't say what the result will be, but if you're able to give a good explanation about what went on hopefully they can take that all into account.

I hope you get on okay and things work out well for you 😊

Tomg2200

thank you for your comment and I am trying my best to be good and honest with them but I’m really scared that I’m in deep trouble.I’m scared I’m going to get arrested for fraud or something when I was just trying to help my family.Some of the payments to my Mum made me feel bad when she asked for them but it’s my Mum and I didn’t have any support until recently.

Most support just gets to the point where they say that I need to move out and after being physically attacked by my Mums husband near the end of last year,I finally got to the point where I knew I just had to leave. I’ve taken care of my sisters for so long that it feels like they are my own kids though.