Too Many forks in the road and I don't know which way to go

Dippysaur

Hi Everyone

This is my first post so please be gentle with me! There is some rambling and a lot of back story but I will get to the point I promise.
I've had spinal issues for about 20 years now, with many peaks and troughs. I've had a few spinal surgeries, millions of treatments and I finally got to a semi-decent place around 2020 (bad year I know!) after 4 years of relative peace I got the worst phone call of my life, my mum was in the ICU, on a vent and I had to get there ASAP. The issue was she and my dad live across the other side of the world.. So after hours of rushing around, days of plane and bus journeys I got to my mums bedside. She unfortunately passed away 4 days later. In the country they lived in, there is a multi-day funeral tradition, with a lot of different customs and beliefs. Unfortunately between all the stress, grief, travel, rubbish hotel beds and lifting, I did my back in again…

Since then I have gone from being fiercely independent, borderline work-a-holic field technician to wheelchair bound, unable to do a lot for myself and off sick. My mental health has (understandably, i think) taken a hit, just to top it off.

So to the point, I'm now in the position where I don't know when or if I will be able to go back to the work i used to do, my employers were understanding initially but now seem to have run out of patience. I'm receiving Mobility PIP and have a blue badge.
I'm at an absolute loss as what to do from here. Do I get pushed to going back to work before i'm potentially ready, I have asked if they would take me back part time but i'm scared this will still be too much. Do I leave for another job ? Do i leave and claim any benefits i could? I'm just so scared and frazzled I don't know what i'm capable of, what the future will hold or what I can do!

Sorry for the long and winding rant but I wanted to share and see if anyone else had been in similar situations.

Love
Dippy

Bluebell21

Hi @Dippysaur Welcome to the Community. I hope you enjoy your time on the forum. Any questions just ask.

Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry everything has been so difficult for you.

Perhaps talk to your GP about how you are feeling and about work. Have you spoken to your HR department about your situation and about not feeling ready to return to work yet?

Please take care of yourself.

Holly_Scope

Hi @Dippysaur welcome! I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. It sounds like you've been through a lot. I definitely agree with @Bluebell21. Depending on how the conversation goes with your employer, it might be a good idea to ask about an occupational health review which is done by a third party who will speak with you about your needs and put forward a proposal to support your needs with returning to work. This could be a period of trialing less hours perhaps.

I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you but having the conversation might offer some extra clarity to help ☺️

Best wishes,