Jokes

Wheeled_Weapon

We all need a laugh now and then, so post your best (clean) jokes -

I'll start -

A piece of black tarmac walks into a bar and says "I'll fight anyone in here! Who wants a fight?"

But nobody replies, so the piece of black tarmac sits down at the table. Then, a piece of pink tarmac walks into a bar and says "I'll fight anyone, anyone at all! Who wants a beating?"

The piece of black tarmac stays absolutely silent, sipping on his pint. The piece of pink tarmac sits down at a different table.

The barman goes up to the piece of black tarmac, and says "Why didn't you say anything? I thought you wanted a fight?"

The piece of black tarmac replies "I wouldn't mess with him, he's a cyclepath."

WhatThe

WW, it took me a while to get your joke. I am not kidding!

Great thread 😀 Why do the tarmacs have to fight though? Why can't they smooth things over down the road at The Junction Inn?

Wheeled_Weapon

Two Polo mints are in a bar. A Fisherman's Friend walks in, glaring at them both.

One Polo says to the other,

"Leave it mate, don't mess with him he's f***ing menthol."

Wheeled_Weapon

What's ET short for?

He's only got little legs.

Wheeled_Weapon

What's the difference between a bad archer and a constipated owl?

The bad archer shoots but can't hit.

Wheeled_Weapon

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

But if anything, it made him more sluggish.

Wheeled_Weapon

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

"Aye matey!"

Holly_Scope

Love this thread. Great idea 😂 Personally I'm terrible at telling jokes so I won't even attempt it 🙈 but really enjoying reading them all.