Advice please

andy2626

Hi, some advice would be much appreciated on my grandsons behaviour. He's only seven and since his parents split up has become prone to extremely violent and destructive behaviour. His mother, my daughter is literally covered in bruises from trying to restrain him. His language is almost demonic, no holds barred. It's almost as if he's in some kind of trance. Then, when he calms down - which could be hours later, he reverts to his normal, compliant and childlike self, yet acts as if nothing has happened. No acknowledgement, apology or anything.

These fits can be triggered by the slightest frustration. He's generally very demanding and hyperactive, very intelligent but shows little compassion for anyone - at least not demonstrably. Social services are involved and have only made matters worse.

These are not normal tantrums. I have 5 smashed windows to prove it. How do we get him assessed. ? NHS are useless. Private sector is ridiculously expensive.

Can anyone suggest anything, please?

andy2626

Thank you for your replies. I understand that maybe the term 'demonic' is not helpful in a clinical sense but I honestly struggle to find abstract terms like ADHD or such in any way helpful. His outbursts are highly vindictive, targeted and would be shocking even coming from a particularly disturbed and malicious adult. He has expressed to me on more than one occasion that I "couldn't even keep my brother or my son alive" - my brother died of pneumonia a year ago today and my son was still born years ago. Along with other, equally distressing remarks. So I don't use the term 'demonic' lightly. I am totally at a loss as to how to help him. His sister, by the way, who's only eight, is the complete opposite in temperament, she even apologises for his behaviour. So I don't think the family situation is the only factor in this.

andy2626

Thank you, again, for your encouraging words. I think it's critical in these uncertain times that issues around mental health - especially with children - are addressed as a priority. It's dangerous, I feel, to allow them to become 'normalised' in any way - either socially or on a more personal level. After 10 months dealing with my grandson, I recognise that a certain acceptance is creeping in. It becomes a matter of 'coping' rather than resolving because nothing you do seems to work. These things can become generational and just one suffering grandson now can mean countless problems to many more people in the future. Talking to others with similar experiences helps a lot, thank you.

Catherine21

Its so hard this triggered me into thinking I was a very unhappy child I used to get rages and say things that I couldn't take back id be left feelijg shame for my actions I didnt know it was undiagnosed adhd autism I was labelled bad trouble maker its so hard for your grandson and yourself is thier anyone your grandson listens too someone he can talk to that he feels comfortable space sometimes its hard talking to family as so many emotions