My mum might have terminal cancer. How can I survive financially?

danielbryan94

Hello. I'm a 31-year-old man who has lived with his ****-year-old mother and 73-year-old father his entire life. My mum is my current Universal Credit appointee. I claim £400.14 a month in Universal Credit, as well as £749.80 in Personal Independence Payment. Just before Christmastime, my mum was diagnosed with colon cancer that has metastasised to her liver and one of her lungs. The stage the cancer is at at the moment is currently unknown as the oncologists haven't informed us yet. We're hoping and praying that the cancer can be cured, and she can live with us for more years.

My dad has agreed that if my mum passes away due to the cancer, then he will become my Universal Credit appointee. However, I am very apprehensive not for my future, but for the future of my entire family. The thing that I'm most nervous and scared for is the financial aspect of the life. If it eventually ends up killing my mum (which I pray to god that it doesn't), I would have to give more money to my dad for bills, and I will also have to end up spending a lot of money on the family dog's foods. That's between £200 and £300 a month, as well as subscription fees for many places online. That'll leave me will barely any money for myself.

Are there any payments or benefits that myself and/or my dad can claim during my mum's illness, and after in case she passes away due to it? How can I help with bills and other stuff without having to worry about my own finances? Are there any places that I can have advice and/or support from in person, via phone, or anything?

Kimi87

This link should help you find a local welfare rights organisation

https://advicefinder.turn2us.org.uk/

They can go through any financial support available to your parents, and advise you on the Work Capability Assessment process to potentially increase your own Universal Credit award.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/universal-credit-if-you-have-a-disability-or-health-condition-quick-guide/universal-credit-if-you-have-a-disability-or-health-condition

There are upcoming changes in April with the amount paid if awarded Limited Capability for Work Related Activity (LCWRA) due to decrease for new claims, so you need to start the process before that time.

Macmillan also have benefits advisors that your parents may want to talk to

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/get-help/macmillan-support-line/money-advisers

Santosha12

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/140817/my-mum-might-have-terminal-cancer-how-can-i-survive-financially

I am so sorry for your mum's diagnosis Daniel, it must be a very upsetting, worrying and frightening time for you all.

Macmillan support that Kimi has mentioned do offer emotional support too by nurse specialists and I'd recommend you ringing them (it's for family too). They're available from 8am until 8pm, 7 days a week on 0808 808 0000. Talking to them first could help you to navigate to getting their financial advice then too, and 'getting your head' round it all..

Just thinking of you and hoping for the best possible outcome with the oncologists and the staging. I hope any support you get helps you and that may help to support your mum too. With my very warmest wishes.

Zipz

I'm crying as I write this post because i lost an adored parent who was also my carer to cancer. My own needs went largely unmet but somehow it didn't matter. I'm glad that I could support the person that had done so much for me..Perhaps with the right help, you could focus on your Mum. Your presence in her life must take priority in over spreadsheets.

The reality is that colon cancer that has spread to the liver and lung is classified as stage IV colorectal cancer. The disease is usually not considered curable, but it is often treatable, sometimes for years. I hope there is treatment available to your Mum.

However, cancer treatment is tough both physically and psychologically. Your Mum might not always feel well enough to act as your appointee. Perhaps your Dad should take over now. He's not a young man and must be devastated by his wife's situation his future role in supporting you might be more limited than your Mum's has been.

Your Mum is entitled to the higher rate of Attendance Allowance. She might also be offered a Macmillan grant.

As has been said before, Macmillan is there for families as well as the patient but I'm wondering whether Maggie's could also help:

https://www.maggies.org/

They have financial/ DWP experts as well as therapists.

I’m thinking of you, your Mum, and your Dad, and I truly hope the oncology team brings you some hopeful news soon.

Rosie_Scope

Hi @danielbryan94, I can see you've already had lots of lovely replies from our members about Macmillan and other support services, so I won't add much there. But I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. I hope your mum is comfortable at the moment and that you all get some clarity soon about what's happening. Thinking of you 💛

MrHappy

Prayers for you and you parents @danielbryan94