Carers Assesment

Loumc48

Hello

Hoping For some advice . I’ve cared for my husband pretty much solely since he had his life changing RTA accident 19 months ago. He got lost in the system as I only found out two months ago and thought it was normal the way I had it deal with everything . Anyhow, adult social care team and the occupational therapy team are now on board and they want me to have a carers assessment. I don’t see the point of it and everything I have read does not make any sense as I’ve been caring full time for all this time. I don’t have the energy to have an hour long chat about my caring role….i just get on with it

Would appreciate any thoughts.

Many thanks

Kimi87

My advice is accept all help that is offered. For yourself & husband.

It's really important that your needs are looked after too, not just those of your husband.

The way you've said you don't have the energy for the assessment, suggests things aren't great for you and you've been doing too much.

I've ruined my health caring for someone over my capacity, so I know the kind of place where you are coming from.

You don't want to reach breaking point, or burnout which is horrible (I've experienced that twice in a year).

The assessment can look at services you might not know about, respite & support for you etc.

The more that's taken off your shoulders, the more it's sustainable for you to act as your husbands carer long term and have a life yourself outside of caring.

Loumc48

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1093525#Comment_1093525

Hi @Kimi87 , thanks and so sorry you have had to go through that. Hope your are doing better now.

I’m in no doubt I’m burnt out but really reluctant to accept help after I’ve done it all on my own. Will give some thought to what you have said but I really don’t want to be judged and very worried that they will put carers in place to give me a break when my husband finds it really hard to talk to people he doesn’t know. Thank you so much again and look after yourself

Kimi87

Just remember even people like medical staff, who work long shifts and crazy hours every week, get time off, leave work at work, take sick days, go on holiday etc.

No one can do a job 24/7, 365 days a year.

It would be better for your husband (and to an extent yourself) to get used to carers slowly when they come in occasionally, than suddenly need them 4 times a day when you temporarily or permanently need to stop.

Judgement often comes from a position of ignorance as to the reality of one's own life, I certainly am not willing to put an ignorant person ahead of my health, wellbeing and enjoyment of life 😊

Loumc48

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1093531#Comment_1093531

@Kimi87 i never looked at it like that. Always see it as he’s my husband and I’m his wife so I just do what I do.

Thank you again. That’s really helped me . Food for thought my end for sure .