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Jadziah12

Hi, just wondering if I can find friends on here. I am a widow of five years and I'm really struggling with loneliness, have family but they all have their own lives and seem to think I can just carry on. But it's not that simple. I have no children. All I have is my two little dogs. I thank God every day for them. Thank you for taking time to read this.

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Comments

GalDriver

Hi Jadziah12. Nice dogs, I thought there were 3 there! lol

Here is our lovely nutter. I'm a random visitor here but am happy to chat when I am. I'm sure you'll find others will come and say "hi".

Jadziah12

Hello, thank you for coming on to say hello, that means so much to me. Your dog is really cute too. There are three dogs in my photo as I was looking after my neighbors dog 😊

lisajane100

Sorry you feel so lonely which I know is awful , im here to say hello

Jadziah12

Hello love, thank you so much for coming to talk to me. The loneliest times are the evenings.

GalDriver

Ah, they're such good company aren't they? We're in Scotland, what part of the world are you?

Jadziah12

I'm in Christchurch Dorset, near Bournemouth ❤️😊❤️ Scotland is a lovely place to live, do you see much snow? We are lucky just to get a few flakes ❄️❄️

JennieWren

Dogs are such a blessing aren’t they? My last dog died several years ago, fortunately my friend has got 2, one of which craves fusses. Loss of a loved one lasts a lifetime (and I haven’t lost anyone super close) but loss of a partner must be devastating. I’m on here a bit irregularly but love to chat. Dorset is beautiful and my cousin always visits Christchurch when she’s in that area. I’ll have to check it out next time we’re out that way.

GalDriver

Oh yes, we're in the Highlands, it was about a foot deep for a week. Gone now except a few heaps left at the side of the road. lol. I'm on wheels so couldn't get out. I'm looking to get some chunky tyres on my motorised wheelchair.

yellowpineapple84

Hi @Jadziah12 welcome to the community 😊 Dorset is a beautiful area, I would love to live by the sea. I’m glad you can find this community and make friends here 😊

Jadziah12

Thank you so much, it's so very kind of you to take the time to talk to me.

Littlefatfriend

I prefer cats but this can be a great place to chat

😺

Jadziah12

Hello 😊❤️😊 thank you. I used you to have a little black cat called Missy

birdwatcher

Hi Jadziah. There's some nice, friendly people here. It's a nice community. Your dogs are beautiful. I live with my greyhound cross( I suppose you'd call her a bull lurcher really but I prefer greyhound cross!). She's an elderly lady now, 13. And I always say I'll never be lonely while I've got her.

Jadziah12

Aww I grew up with Greyhounds we had a black and white one called Martin

, he lived till he was 16. This is a painting we had done.

figraspberry41

#Jadziah 12,

I'm sorry, I have just read your original post. May I ask if there are any Bereavement meetings locally to you that you might be able to 'tap' into? The Church that I attend (not in my local area!} started a TLC monthly TLC meeting. 'T' being tea (or coffee) 'L' Listening and 'C' Cake! The idea is that the meeting is available to anyone who would like to talk with others whilst enjoying a hot drink and cake. A brief introduction statement is read out so that anyone attending is aware that we are not a counselling service or strictly Bereavement Service but offer a 'safe' environment for people experiencing 'loss' of any kind (it is not restricted to people who have lost other people but it might be a job, marriage break up or pet, anything that makes a person feel lonely.

Those that attend are not asked 'difficult' questions or be judgemental. We offer a 'safe' place where anyone can 'drop' in for a cup of tea and chat to / with others. We have had a positive reaction, so hopefully we can continue. We are all volunteers some may have experienced a 'loss' others just are willing to LISTEN to the person wanting to share whatever they wish to talk over, so no pressure to even discuss their loss. During the meeting a brief statement is read to ensure that everyone in attendance is aware that nothing discussed within the group is 'shared' or discussed outside the meeting.

I realise that this might not be for you (also East Sussex is too far to 'pop' in for a cup of tea, slice of (usually homemade cake) and a chat to / with someone. It enables people to come and share (or not) their experiences or even just 'off load' their sadness or any other issue that may be affecting them. It also encourages the person to venture out (if they can) and build relationships from there.

For me, I am not very good with technology and can have 'difficulty' with communication skills due to my Neurodiverse conditions; however, I do sometimes reply to a post if it may 'help' someone else then it is all worthwhile. Despite my Neurodiverse conditions, I was able to become a qualified nurse (long before I was aware of my deficits) and worked in the Community for many years, so I guess, I do have some communication ability, just not good at it in busy, noisy places.

I hope that you find lots of people online at Scope who are better at conversations than me and wish you well with your endeavours. Good luck!

Jadziah12

Thank you 😊 I will look into my local church. I was also a nurse for 20 years, but unfortunately my spine didn't like it so now I have four displaced disc's all of which are sitting on my sciatic nerve.

Jadziah12

Thank you so much ❤️😊❤️

figraspberry41

#@Jadziah12,

Hello Jadziah12,

Delighted that you have been able to have some communication with others, especially those who can share their animal companion stories that is often a starting point.

I have another friend who's nursing career was halted due to her multiple spinal conditions, due to which she was medically discharged because the conditions prevented her from working. My friend stopped working in 2016 and has now reached State Pension age. Unfortunately, her spinal conditions cause her immense pain that she has been told there is no more that can be done except seeing a Consultant Pain Specialist (anaesthetist), who has used targeted injections with the hope it will improve her pain. Sadly, she also has Parkinson's Disease which of course carries with it even more debilitating and mobility issues.

Did you specialise in any particular area of Nursing? Unfortunately, my demise was aided by the discovery of

Neuro diverse conditions, (Autism and Dyslexia, at almost 60 years old!), then the technology failed me (or perhaps, I failed to manage with IT (which still causes me a lot of issues with communicating or comprehension of using technology).

I have another friend (ex-colleague, also a bit older than myself) who suffers with Dementia but also has Parkinson's Disease who is always sad because she "feels lonely". It is proving a challenge to see her or do things with her yet we (my other friend) and I struggle to find ways to meet up for coffee even if it just breaks up the day. Her worst time is the evenings (she was widowed about two years ago). I guess that you might resonate with these scenario's.

Having had a 'light bulb' moment, I thought it a shame that my lonely friend would probably enjoy a brief chat via telephone. IT is not for her either, in fact, she doesn't have a computer or mobile phone restricting communication to just landline. I'm not sure if this may be removed, although, my intention is to illustrate that loneliness is a dreadful feeling, so it is good to use whatever methods we can to try and give respite to the other person, even just briefly.

I hope that you may find a similar group that I referred to (previous post) because there is a definite 'need' for anyone who is saddened by loss and 'safe' places to meet with others and perhaps share experiences. It gives 'hope' to those feeling sorrowful and lonely without the 'self pity' that can be quite destructive.

Just another thought, I noticed that a local Funeral Directors offer a monthly 'drop in' service where they meet somewhere more appropriate for coffee and a chat. Perhaps this is another avenue you might consider exploring? Good Luck.

Jadziah12

Hello, I was a nurse on General medicine wards. I worked mostly with elderly patients and also on lung and respiratory wards. Unfortunately my husband passed away from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis and aggressive lung cancer 💔😢💔 it was really hard to nurse him as a patient as he kept asking questions about the illness 😢 he wanted me to explain what was going to happen to him. I am also waiting for the pain management team as I am in chronic pain all day and even at night. You are so right about the loneliness, it is an awful experience. Thank you

so much

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