Is it ok for a guy to want to hook up with a girl that is mentally a teenager?
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I mean we all deserve a relationship that is mutually respectful. If he ghosted her because of her disability, or any other reason, it is not kind. I hope she gains increasing confidence to know her self-worth but it is hard, I expect, for her not to take it to heart as it is hurtful.
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Why indulge this member?
If he's not happy with her parent/carer decisions, that's who he should speak to. What we think is irrelevant!
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Me neither Tosha (Hope you don't mind me calling you that?)
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Tosha is absolutely fine 😅👍.
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I read it as a guy. High-functioning but mentally a teenager makes no sense!
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How does it make no sense?
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I've been mentally middle aged since I was in my early 30s 😂
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Yea I am they ghost me when they find out that I am mentally disabled because of their assumptions. This makes me depressed I don’t know what to do anymore no other girl has this problem I feel so broken 😭 I try to be like everyone else to hook up but it fails because of my disability. I’m so depressed I don’t know what to do anymore. All they do it’s ignore me and I’m sick of this at this point. I just want to have sex like everyone else being mild intellectual disabled ruins it for me
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What makes you think 'everyone else' has a sex life? That is totally untrue.
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Not everyone has a love life, and the hard truth is that none of us has an entitlement to one. I will never say that is a desirous situation to be in.
If my counsel counts for anything, I say to concentrate on making friends and having fun days out; if that leads to anything more, then that's a bonus.
(The first reply got caught in the spam filter, I didn't mean to Labour the point).
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Why? Because by ignoring and ghosting me they have their assumptions about me and thinking that they will take advantage when it’s not true! Other girls won’t have this problem because they aren’t disabled they are ghosted for other reasons it’s not fair!
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It is true because people that aren’t mentally disabled are ghosted for other reason and for me guys are afraid of taking advantage of me and that’s why they ghost other girls don’t have to deal with that. This ruins me having sex with them
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Come on now, try not to think like that. If I have learned anything, it's that life certainly isn't fair. Maybe hooking up with random men isn't the be all and end all?
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yeah you may be right and my mom lectured me on how it’s “wrong” for me to hook up with random men because it’s not “normal”. Should I listen to her or she’s being controlling?
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One cannot speak for everyone.. it really is down to the individual and having a relationship with someone with disabilities is not something everyone will be open to. Moral compass is different for everyone.
For specific reasons you would need to ask those that ghosted directly.
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Why do you think most people don’t want to be in relationships with someone who has a mental disability? And some have no problem with it?
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You don’t want to put yourself in those situations. I agree with your Mum. Safeguarding you will feel like control.. but it is better to be safe.
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She's right, never hook up with some random stranger, you don't know where's he's been or who he's been with?
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Yeah but you can ask if he is free from STD
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True but what if he lies? What about pregnancy? If you don't know anything about him other than what he tells you he may be really dangerous.
If you want a relationship that isn't just about sex, could you go out with friends and meet people who have similar interests to you - maybe some hobbies you enjoy or would like to try? Or do you have any friends who could maybe help you to meet someone they know?
Even in a no-strings relationship based on sex, one person can begin to have feelings for the other, which are not reciprocated.
If you do meet up with new people alone at least you could let a trusted friend or family member know where you are going and with whom. For safety reasons. This is sound advice for everyone.
I know it can seem as though everyone else is finding the dating game easier than you. But people can encounter all different kinds of problems and are rejected or ignored for all kinds of different reasons.
Whatever you decide to do I hope you ensure you stay safe.
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