Seeking a female aged mid to late 40s for friendship etc

2

Comments

  • SoapySoutar
    SoapySoutar Community Member Posts: 589 Empowering

    I only ever get elderly and or reclusive neighbours here, I see nobody else!

    I am one of only three left alive, since the street came into being in 2015. ⌛️

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,626 Championing

    I'm not even keen on this edited title - it begs the question, a female what?

    SheffieldMan, at 50, what you are looking for is a woman.

  • Ross1975
    Ross1975 Posts: 1,090 Championing

    The title is fine, a woman is a female after all.

    How are you getting on with the links I sent SheffieldMan1976? Did anything interest you?

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 1,475 Connected

    I had a look, but most of them, you have to pay to contact anyone and it's not cheap but thanks for trying.

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Community Member Posts: 9,883 Championing

    I just dont understand the need to comment and correct someone i see no issue with the word female am i missing something i have to read posts over and over to make sense and see no offence here what so ever

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 1,475 Connected

    No offence was intended on my part, it's just my way of typing/speaking, I already asked the Mods to change the title once last week.

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,626 Championing

    Sheffie, good morning to you!

    I actually preferred the original title because I understood you were being humorous. You do have a GSOH which is an attractive quality when looking for a mate, as you are.

    You are also willing to listen and learn from others without taking umbrage every 5 minutes. I have hope for you 😉

    My challenge is really for Scope to review this title again for the reason outlined in my first post..

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Community Member Posts: 9,883 Championing

    I have hope for you lol theres alot of umbrage on here including yourself when i was working had a boss who would slip in umderline digs so unattractive quality

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,626 Championing
    edited 12:24PM

    My challenge is really for Scope to review this title again for the reason outlined in my first post..

    Thank you, Scope!

  • Holly_Scope
    Holly_Scope Posts: 5,308 Online Community Team

    Hi all. Appreciate that we all interpret wording differently, but I can’t see any issue with this title. Best wishes, Holly.

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,626 Championing

    Nice.

  • Emilee
    Emilee Community Member Posts: 530 Pioneering

    I acknowledge why Scope may not change it but when women are telling SheffieldMan that they don't like the term, I don't think it is for a man to say it is fine.

    Sheffield is trying to meet WOMEN and many of us have explained why being referred to as this title does doesn't make us feel good. If he wants to meet women, he needs to listen to women.

    As I explained before, "'human female' is a typical term used by incels to refer to women. Instant red flag."

    Three of us have voiced this concern now and while I really don't think you meant it badly @Ross1975, I don't think it's your place to say it's fine when we're trying to explain why to us it isn't.

  • Emilee
    Emilee Community Member Posts: 530 Pioneering

    For anyone actually interested:

    The issue isn’t the word itself. it’s how it’s used and the context around it.

    “Female” is technically correct in a biological sense. You’ll see it used in science, medicine, or formal classifications (e.g., “female patients,” “female athletes”). But in everyday conversation, to many of us, calling women “females” comes across as impersonal and disrespectful.

    Compare:

    • “Women are…” (human, social identity)
    • “Females are…” (sounds more like describing a species)

    It’s dehumanising and reduces someone to their biology rather than recognising them as a person.

    It’s used widely by incels and by similar groups, it’s one step away from ‘foid’.

  • Emilee
    Emilee Community Member Posts: 530 Pioneering
    edited 1:29PM

    "I just dont understand the need to comment and correct someone" … you say while commenting to correct someone.

    You may not see any issue with the language but three of us have all already explained why we don't like it, it is okay for us to have different opinions and to share them. Just because you see no offence doesn't mean someone else can't be offended (by the way I'm not offended by it and don't think anyone has said they are, but it is a red flag and something that stands out which is why we've - very politely - explained it).

    If Sheffield wants to meet women I'm sure he's happy to have feedback from women on things that may help, and language use is one of them.

  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community Member Posts: 1,089 Championing

    It's a minefield. I get the points made on both view sides but on forms etc it's still Male/Female/ Prefer Not to Say ?

    I was in an awkward situation the other week. 2 young women holding hands -

    The lift door opens and I say … After you ladies. Polite and manners. Or so I thought.

    They let me know I shouldn't have labelled them as I didn't know their pronouns, and let me know in a very impolite way

    After a lot of back and toing (with people watching) turns out they were lesbian, identified as female (their words) but they still found the term ladies offensive - even more so because a stranger called them it.

    So, is ladies an offensive term these days ?

  • Catherine21
    Catherine21 Community Member Posts: 9,883 Championing

    I agree ofcourse we are entitled for our own views

  • Emilee
    Emilee Community Member Posts: 530 Pioneering

    @SheffieldMan1976, I hope you know that none of this is directed at you, I know you meant zero offence with your wording but I hope you are open to feedback on how it can be off putting for some of us women.

    I’m a woman (although a couple of years too old for your age bracket!), but I believe there is someone out there for everyone.

    I hope you use some of the amazing advice shared and that you find someone that gets you

  • Emilee
    Emilee Community Member Posts: 530 Pioneering

    I think everyone has different things they find offensive. There was a discussion on terms of endearment like “love” and the responses were interesting.

    Female isn’t a bad word. With this discussion though, I think the point being made is that if the equivalent word would be “men” then it should be “women” not females.

    It’s like me saying “women and males” or “males and women”.

    There’s a difference between me saying:

    “Men are…”

    and

    “Males are…”

  • WelshBlue
    WelshBlue Community Member Posts: 1,089 Championing

    The way you've explained that makes sense, subtle differences but yeah, I can see the rationale behind your reasoning 😉

  • Emilee
    Emilee Community Member Posts: 530 Pioneering

    Thank you @WelshBlue, and I am sorry you had that experience recently. It sounds like you were trying to be polite and I don’t understand their reaction at all, it sounds very unnecessary, especially them making a spectacle.
    It’s no wonder people hold back from helping others. I hope you won’t let it put you off.