How to cope when you feel you’re too much

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Comments

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 3,145 Connected

    I've worked with support companies since 2001, most of 'em are run by jobsworth middle managers with the communication skills of a Sheep who don't respond to emails or calls unless they want summat.

  • south37
    south37 Community Member Posts: 23 Connected

    Attended the appointment, which they seemed to infer had to be in person to check on my mental health (but then asked me no questions about it) not appreciating that attending it has an adverse affect on my mental health.

    I was offered some invaluable advice though: “depression is the past, anxiety is the future, the present is now. So live in the present”

    And just like that I’m cured 👍

  • south37
    south37 Community Member Posts: 23 Connected

    @Rachel_Scope thank you, I have looked into advocacy previously. The provider for my area has said they can’t provide me advocacy (didn’t explain why) despite their website saying they can and signposted me to citizens advice.

  • south37
    south37 Community Member Posts: 23 Connected

    @Stellar sadly that is also the only way I can cope as well.

    Even when I’ve been able to communicate directly with them in the past they’ve been sarcastic, laughed at me or said they’d refer me to CMHT and then only asked them for med advice and prescribed a new medication instead with no consultation on it.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,221 Online Community Team

    Well done for going to the appointment. I'm sorry it wasn't very helpful though. Is it a regular appointment or just a one-off?

    I can't believe they said they couldn't offer you advocacy and didn't explain why. I'm not sure what reason it could even be.

  • Stellar
    Stellar Community Member Posts: 539 Trailblazing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1134724#Comment_1134724

    they likely don't have the resources to help, even if they wanted to. the way services operate under austerity is to artificially decrease demand as much as possible. lies, deliberate miscommunication and false hope are the order of the day.

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Community Member Posts: 1,602 Championing

    There is so much in this conversation that you guys express that I relate to, especially shutting down to keep the peace. I'm working with my brother in learning how to stand up for myself. He is pretty much the only person I can really talk to about deep stuff. Like you, @south37 , I do better in writing.

    Have you considered, @south37, perhaps one-on-one therapy might not be the answer because one-on-one is your very problem? There are tons of resources out there now through books and podcasts and websites and YouTube. That's what I'm doing.

    There is one guy in particular who I find really helpful. His name is Jefferson Fisher. I watch his YouTube videos. He's also written a bestseller. He's a lawyer who coaches how to clearly and confidently communicate in difficult situations. What I really like about him the most is he teaches you how to stand up for yourself while still being kind to the other person. To me, that's a goldminevand the only solution. Here's his channel followed by one of my favourite videos.

    https://youtube.com/%40jeffersonfisher?si=kaSvj_liDygDpjgZ

    https://youtu.be/Q7Y7iYmo0mU?si=FOod1P0-FpFdMrD_
  • south37
    south37 Community Member Posts: 23 Connected

    so I’ve found adult social care haven’t taken my complaint forward /accepted it as it’s not in the right format and I haven’t given specific dates and times.

    I honestly don’t know what even to do. I spent hours and hours working on it and making it clear and worked hard to ensure it couldn’t be misunderstood and they’ve just slapped me round the face and told me I didn’t do enough, it wasn’t clear enough.

    I honestly can’t keep on with this ‘it’s not in the right format’ nonsense the same excuse the NHS have given for not implementing my reasonable adjustments even though I’ve started them clearly in wiring dozens of times.

    this leaves me feeling so low and hopeless. I just don’t know what else I can do to move forward. Every avenue is blocked. I don’t have it in me to keep trying to overcome these stupid obstacles.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,221 Online Community Team

    I'm so sorry @south37. I can't imagine how distressing this is for you. Have they explained what format they want it in?

    I know you've mentioned you would feel uncomfortable due to the sensitive nature of some aspects of your life, but would you ever consider allowing your sister to help you with this? I'm sure she would want to support you.

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