Parents and carers
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need some help

bobsmumbobsmum Member Posts: 3
edited May 2014 in Parents and carers
my niece has cp. she cant walk very well needs a wheelchair can walk with a frame. and not much use in one of her arms.
she is only 6 stone ( age 23) she wont admit shes got cp she thinks she is normal. she wont do any pyiso she wont move around hardley i dont know what to do to help her , her mother passed away last year. she always told her there was nothing wrong with her she wouldnt accept she had cp .

Replies

  • kingboy25kingboy25 Member Posts: 139 Listener
    would you like to enlarge on your concerns? Does your niece have support needs? If so does she get support via social services?
    Sometimes people cope with their disabilities in different ways and it doesn't really matter what label you give it. She will be grieving for her mother at the moment and that's maybe all she can cope with at the moment never mind accepting that she has cerebral palsy. As regards physiotherapy, if you read lots of the posts on here you will see that for adults physio is rarely available.
    All you can do at the moment is support her in her grief and be ready to support her in her disability when she asks.
  • bobsmumbobsmum Member Posts: 3
    thankyou for that, its hard we are all really upset with the loss of her mum ( my sis in law) but she seams happy her mums gone i know its a horried thing to say but she does seam happy about it . shes says im a grown up now. i can do what i want now. she wont listen to any of us, she says theres nothing wrong with her. she now saying she wants a baby :0. what can we do my poor mother inlaw who is in her 70s in looking after her. no we are not having any help from the outside at all she keeps saying she hasnt got cp theres nothing wrong with her , i just dont know what to do to help her.
  • ScopeHelplineScopeHelpline Member Posts: 210 Courageous
    Hello bobsmum

    If you would like to contact us at the Scope Response helpline we will be happy to talk through these issues with you, and see if we can help. Please call 0808 800 3333, or email [email protected]

    Kind regards

    Helpline Team
  • kingboy25kingboy25 Member Posts: 139 Listener
    I know that "I'm a grownup and I can do what I want" scenario very well. It is very very hard to stand back and let someone who is an adult but vulnerable, do their own thing.
    One thing you could do is to ask for a carer's assessment for Mum in Law. She is entitled to this as the principal carer and in this way outside agencies will become involved. The help available is very limited but better than nothing. As a seventy year old myself I could not envisage being my son's carer again and indeed it wouldn't be good for him as he would feel stifled. He is a couple of years older than your niece. Do you think perhaps your niece has felt stifled in the past and this is why she feels happy Mum has died?
  • bobsmumbobsmum Member Posts: 3
    yes u might be right there i think she did feel trapped with her mum she now feels free, shes talking about learning to drive now. and go to uni . we dont know what to say to her. shes very rude and upsetting to her nan who is in her 70s and is doing eveything she can for her and shes just throwing it all back in her nans face, we are scared to tell her off as we dont want to upset her. we want her to have her own life but i cant see her been able to drive as she cant walk on her one leg and not much use in her one arm. and as for uni she cant look after herself at all. she is just like a naught teenage if u know what i mean wont do as they are told wont wash . we tried to get her into some art course around here as she loves drawing , her aws was no way im better than them. everthing we try to do is just thrown back at us. hard work. if she could accept shes got cp she would be a lot easier to help.
  • kingboy25kingboy25 Member Posts: 139 Listener
    Hi Bobsmum
    If she wants to be treated as "normal" then that is what you must all do. If she didn't have a disability there is no way any of you would allow her to treat her nan badly so one of you must tear her off a strip. There is no reason why she shouldn't be upset, I know, I've been there. It is hard but it is the only way. It won't make her c.p. worse
    As for her other aspirations; If she has capacity intellectually then there is no reason she can't aim for university. I know a couple of C.Pers who have been to university.
    As for her other aspiration of driving. Assuming her eyesight is good enough there is no reason why not. There are all sorts of adaptations available for people with her type of disability. My son who cannot walk at all and has involuntary movements has driven several times off road and taking his driving test is one of his aspirations.
    If you haven't already done so do contact scope as you need expert help in order to support your niece into independance.
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