Parents, carers and disabled parents
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Who cares for the carers?

JimJamsJimJams Member Posts: 175 Listener
Out of interest I was wondering how many of the carers out there remember to look after themselves. You get so caught up looking after someone else that you let your own health slip. I know I did, I try and take regular time out now as I feel it makes me more able to cope. If anyone else is in this position, please try and schedule time for yourself, take advantage of any help that is offerred, and look into other services that can offer you respite. Some carers groups offer relaxation nights, massages etc. You need to keep yourself healthy if you are going to care for someone long term. Take care.

Replies

  • HeatherHeather Member Posts: 171 Listener
    edited June 2014
    Exercise is an excellent release. Don't forget to include partners as well...they get stressed. My husband and I arrange for a PA to take our son out whilst our daughter attends a sibling support group and we both spend a couple of ours at a gym to boast our energy levels. Sometimes we go mad and go to the health suite as well!!!!!!
  • mazzymmazzym Member Posts: 12 Listener
    Yes Marie, that is is very true.

    I belong to my local carers group and we have a parent carers group, which I go to bi-monthly, it has helped to keep me sane.
  • HeatherHeather Member Posts: 171 Listener
    I recently attended a 7 week 'Caring With Confidence Course'. It's FOC and ran by our local Carers Group. Absolutely fantastic! Covered all topics for those that were new to Caring to those that were struggling, or lost their way. Looking after yourself was a high catagory and there are a lot of support groups out there to help.
  • mazzymmazzym Member Posts: 12 Listener
    sounds good Heather, whereabouts in the country was that?
  • HeatherHeather Member Posts: 171 Listener
    Hi Mazzym
    The course I attended was ran by Kent. There is a website www.caringwithconfidence.net or for self study www.nec.ac.uk/caringwithconfidence Tel: 01223 400 393. Really nice to get out and meet other carers in similar position and share knowledge, just the same as Netbuddy!
  • NaomiNaomi Member Posts: 29 Listener
    Life as a carer can be really tough. At the worse times you barely have time to think, let alone do anything for yourself. However in quieter times I have tried really hard to keep up with an exercise programme. I mainly do weights because my son - although mobile - is very large and I worry that one day I wont be able to manage him in public. Being fit has given me huge confidence in how I manage my son, which in turn has improved his behaviour. Its great for your overall mood as well, and because I'm so focused on keeping up in class, it helps me forget my responsibilities as a carer as well.
  • JimJamsJimJams Member Posts: 175 Listener
    I agree naomi feeling physically fitter yourself helps you cope better with your child out and about. My son is only 5 but is over 4 foot tall and is very stocky and his weight is a problem. I had a back problem for a while and could not cope with him physically on my own, I now attend pilates and a chiropractor to keep on top of my back pain. I too worry that I wont be able to cope outside and really only visit specialist play centres or groups now with my son where there are people to assist. I think I will follow your lead and try and build up my muscles also, we will both be like arnie swarzenegger thingy in no time.
  • MrssuvMrssuv Member Posts: 1
    I started Running after the birth of my disabled daughter 8 years ago.
    Its my time out, time for me to de-stress & take out my frustration on the streets!
    I can clear my head & put the world right! I find I come back a happier & calmer person, ready to deal with the real world again!
    I think we all need time out for ourselves to help make us a better person.
  • savvymumsavvymum Member Posts: 5
    I must admit this is something I don't really do and I know I should. I do come online to escape reality for a while.
    We are hoping to get a dog soon so he will give me the perfect excuse to go out and have some time to myself.
  • TeresaTeresa Member Posts: 24
    I do a weekly yoga class, have done since long before the birth of my autistic daughter, & can recommend it to dispel all sorts of strains both mental & physical.
  • fairywishesfairywishes Member Posts: 25
    It's very hard. I have to admit I'm bad at this generally in my life anyway. Since my husband and my daughter's father left last June it's been much harder. I am now with someone who is so caring & wants me to think about me. He has recently decided to move in (not happened yet) with us which will help me I'm sure. I did get some counselling through the GPs for other issues but I found the time really important and helpful 'me time'. I'm now doing a session a week with a personal trainer and although expensive I find this is great for giving me some me time & also helping me combat all the sugary foods I keep eating to get through the day. When I'm tired I have a lot less patience with the children, I need to talk to more carer groups. Thanks for raising this, I think we all need to look at this more.
  • biglynnbiglynn Member Posts: 2
    it helps if you can go a centre that has other people in the same sitution as yourself i belong to a group innorthlondon they have coffee mornings talks on lots of issues you have to take time out for yourself eny if it is only for 5mins
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