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Help! Behaviour issues in 3 yo awaiting ASD diagnosis

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snuggl3s
snuggl3s Community member Posts: 1 Listener
I'm all very new to this! My 3 year old son is right on the cusp of getting a diagnosis for Autism. His paeditrican saw him when he was two and told us that it was a label that was appropriate for him so we're just waiting for another meeting with him now we've completed assessments from other professionals! We struggle with his behaviour if I'm honest. He has obsessions with mouthing feet, we think its for a reaction than anything else! He also tantrums ALL the time over things that he knows he HAS to do...ie teeth cleaning, washing, dressing, waiting! Any advice welcome :) xx

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  • Carla
    Carla Community member Posts: 1 Listener
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    Hi, although new to this group I have worked with young people who have ASD for a number of years. I would suggest a visual timetable and a reward system for positive behaviour. keep the timetable simple and the rewards frequent initially and then once he gets the hang of it you can then extend the time between the rewards. The rewards need to be highly motivating. Some people/parents who live with the disorder may be able to offer an alternative.
  • Heather
    Heather Community member Posts: 168 Connected
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    Hi. My heart goes out to you! Oh how I remember those early years......believe me, it gets easier....different challenges, but you will learn and grow to adapt with your son. The "Terrible Twos" for and autistic child is so much more intensive and seems to go on for ever. But You have to learn that help is out there! Ask friends, family to take a turn at giving you some space and time out! If you stress out everytime you attempt a daily routine, it will affect everyone around you. I'm not sure if the course is still running....but as soon as diagnosed head for The EarlyBird course. Designed specifically to support newly diagnosed with coping strategies and they will look at your issues in detail and work with you to find answers. Netbuddy will have lots of useful information so make it a regular pit stop. Good luck
  • JimJams
    JimJams Community member Posts: 174 Connected
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    I too sympathise with you and would also say try visuals and rewards, i did not know what I know now when my son was at this stage and I have some terrible memories. But it does get easier my son is now 6 and I would say the worst stage up until now was age 2-4. We still have issues but as heather says, you will get to know your sons mind inside and out and be able to adapt situations to cope. Do whatever it takes to avoid a tantrum as I know they are hellish and can go on for days. Try deep breathing with your son, or rocking him, or distract him by doing something funny, ie falling over or put something in the wrong place like a shoe on your head, this might stop the tantrum or distract him. Good luck , its hard times for you just now but it will get easier, stay strong and take regular breaks or offers of help.
  • Mixxi
    Mixxi Community member Posts: 29 Listener
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    Hi snuggl3s. Let me add my sympathy to the throng. It is tough but it does get better - I promise - well different anyway :)
    I would suggest a Now and Next board (Or first and then) with a visual reminder of what needs to be done followed by the next thing - preferably a fun thing!
    If the problem is finishing the "fun thing" then do a count down 5 more minutes with regular warnings until the 5-4-3-2-1. Put in as many reminders of the required behaviour as you think are necessary. Then remove the object or child from the situation immediately. Deal with any tantrum calmly but without giving in - tantrums are natural and normal and away of learning to grow up. (Tougher job for our kids) All you have to do is prevent the child injuring himself or others. If it gets too much - get help, get a break. Do what you need to do. We are big into "Tag-team parenting" in my house but many a time when alone with the boy I have walked another room to punch a pillow or curse before returning to the fray - calm and serene of course :)
    Oh and don't forget the copious praise when doing anything remotely good. "Good Standing son- well done!" "Fantastic breathing - what a star!"
    Best of luck
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