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Help with monthly cycles

AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
Please can any women out there give me suggestions to help me support my daughter with her monthly cycles. She is very regular and in the week before her period she can (and usually does) display some very challenging behavior.
It was exactly two weeks and a day ago that her last period began and this evening there has been no rational reasoning with her. She has thrown things about, hit me and ripped a hole in her new woolen jumper. I offered her paracetamol which she refused but has gone to bed with a hot water bottle.

Replies

  • AliasDorisAliasDoris Member Posts: 1
    Hi Alistair.. Maybe you could do some research firstly for yourself, with respect to periods.. and read as much as possible, so you know how periods can affect girls/women-Please do no think i am patronising- hormones being the main reason for her behaviour, however, I suspect, she may not-and many millions do not want periods, but feel 'grown-up' cos thats whats happening..it is good she is regular.. be patient, yes knowing thats difficult.. but in the same breath, she needs to understand that/what is happening to her body and of course 'brain'.. books are a good idea, after you have done own research.. let her read it, then ask her if she wishes to discuss.. now she may not, give her time..be understanding, have the knowledge ready.. there are many natural remedies, that will ease pains.. hot water bottle one of the best.. I hope this helps a little.. by all means email if you wish.. regards Doreen
  • AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
    Thanks Alias Doris, I don't think you are being patronising and humbly accept any advice from women. I haven't read any books on the subject but have tried to talk to as many women, who I feel comfortable will understand my situation, including professionals. My daughter has been menstruating for nearly two years now and she still has not really accepted the fact. She has GDD and ASD and so is about a four year old with a fourteen year olds' body.
    We've had a few behaviours today and really it's quite nice to come here and share them.
    I can laugh about it now but at the time...
    we went to do some essential shopping. In the multi story car park she refused to get out of the car. I went round to encourage her, she slammed her door closed and locked it. I had left the keys in the ignition! About half an hour and two roll ups (I had given up!) later and lots of odd looks from other shoppers she unlocked the car. In the end we got what we needed so maybe a few more lessons learned.
  • HeatherHeather Member Posts: 171 Listener
    edited June 2014
    Lesson Learnt...next time you get locked out of a car, take a flask of coffee! LOL. Seriously, my "trouble" used to refuse to get out of the car and I found asking a stranger to instruct him to get out, worked....he is frightened of strangers and would immediately want to run to mum! As for your "monthlys" problem I have to say my "normal" daughter is of a similar age and she found Evening Primrose helped with her hormone peaks and troughs. She often comes to me and says she is very tearful, or angry and appreciates it's her hormones. But with a child who can't understand why these things are happening, must be difficult. Have you diarised her cycle and can you see a pattern forming of the "trigger" times? I wonder if she would benefit from a calendar and highlight the times when she "might feel unhappy" but then explain it will soon pass. Good luck, it can't be easy as my daughter has pushed me to the brink a few times and even my own experience makes me want to come back as a male cat next life!
  • AlistairAlistair Member Posts: 104
    Hi Heather, I have tried 'strangers' in the past (it's not a new thing, refusing to get out of the car). Guess it depends on my state of mind ?!
    Yes I have kept a record of her cycles. It's been essential just for shopping for the basic needs. Pads are not usually a thing men think of when they do the 'big' shop.
    I think it's a good idea to make a calender and think I'll ask school to help create a visual one. Yes it's a really good idea and I'll share the results, wounder what their symbols software will come up for 'period'?!
    It's hard for me to understand but, a 'male cat'? Don't they get buckets of cold water thrown over them? Yeah sounds par for the course!
  • JimJamsJimJams Member Posts: 175 Listener
    I would try a calendar on the wall and mark when the next monthly cycle is due and maybe some symbols showing different moods and maybe some photographs of your daughter doing different relaxation methods whether is deep breathing or counting down from 10, so that she is prepared for the next episode coming, she could be worried about the loss of something from her body, i know my son can cries for hours when i cut his nails of hair, he feels he has been attacked some way and something taken from him. Prepare for the next time and talk through how she could cope better with her own tensions/ frustrations, a nice soothing bath, or nice fragrant oils in her room. I would try using a time line and pictures etc
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