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lst yr I was moved to a dctrs surgery , with out knowing that none of my doctors I hve had for yrs wld not be at this surgery , the beginning of a major headache , before I had been moved , I had been discussing problems im having with nerve damage in my stump . and numbness in my arms and neck ,that occurred in a acc ,after my 2nd that had caused the problems with my amputation in particular .wich happened 3 yrs ago . due to this I was having bouts of explosive anger and suicidal thoughts I had only told my dctr about how this was affecting me outside and with my relationship , 22 yrs own house own bikes holidays but before I cld save it all , we parted ways I just cldnt keep doing it to the person ,I loved , so I lft with a bag and a bike , I now hve nothing apart from my bike ,wich with the pips system coming in cld be taken away anytime soon , so bck to the dctr im at ,now , as far as they were concerned wen I frst started going there , they didn't want to address it , so I got angreyer and it just kept getting fed wen at dctrs . then she started questioning me driving a motorcycle ,even though I showed her a letter from my previous dctr , saying that I had been at the assessment centre for driving , .so to shorten this up . I have basically went out my way to just go they hand me my prescription for my tablets , and I leave . for the past yr and a half I tell them nothing and as far a they no . I have an anger problem that they dnt address ,I just keep having to apoligise , and sign a letter lst week , saying I wnt be abusive to anyone , unfortunately I sometimes have my dctrs and wen I go in I am sure the staff are talking about me and I leave feeling worse. wich since leaving my last dctrs.I hve attacked 2 people on a bus as I thought they were talking about me I constantly avoid being near or in places with people ,even my hospital appointments for my leg . I hve missed them all , I leave the house and my sister thnks I hve went , im in a realy bad place and dnt no were to turn . I have not had any follow up appointments for my copd ,amputation pins I hve in my bck my neck and shoulders numbness and if my dctr was asked if I cld wrk he wld say yes . of wich I no dwn to my health problems I cant . I wrked from the age of 14 to 31 and now feel like I cldnt even get a job opening boxes , , I can not tell these dctrs anything as they dnt want to no they hve no idea as it is not on my records that I was seeing a psycoligist and pyscyitrist and wen I brought it up nothing has been done as I was hlf way through and thought things were getting better and it wld hve continued but I hve got nowhere with them , because of the medication im on I think they just see someone who just wants these kind of tablets . , just writing this is getting me through another day as my days consist of getting up going to bed and the same for the lst 2. 3 yrs I just thnk im at my snapping point,and hve been for a long time I just think how much can the brain take before u just melt dwn , does it happen the way u see on telly or here about. am I capable of doing smthing so horrible that people say oh he was such a nice person , of wich I no I am , but hve never felt so much on my own with trying to cope with all this by my self I had to write this I am definatly at point of no return it feels like this all the time , and there is so much worse in the wrld I feel so terrible about this to , I dnt watch tv anymore , as I cant handle it wen I see kids and war hurt people , I used to just turn over the channel . but now I just dnt watch tv .I dnt want sympathy as I thnk that is so selfish of people blowing thngs out of proportion to get a little sympathy . I dnt no how I got here , as I coped with both my accdents and went bck to wrk and now I hve to thnk hard as to how I got in thus mess I hardly wash dnt care bout my health . I wld like to go see a nother dctr but I cant face it the thought of a nother dctr who thnks I just want tablets to get stoned , or just want to not wrk , im lost to a system that is not the same wen I had a dctr that used to ask me about the way I feel .my lst dctr at time of amputation , got me through that with my ex , , I hate to burden anyone who reads this but . I def no I cant be the only person this is happening to , thnks for letting me feel like im telling some one ,