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morph Community member Posts: 2 Listener
lst yr I was moved to a dctrs surgery , with out knowing that none of my doctors I hve had for yrs wld not be at this surgery , the beginning of a major headache , before I had been moved , I had been discussing problems im having with nerve damage in my stump . and numbness in my arms and neck ,that occurred in a acc ,after my 2nd that had caused the problems with  my amputation in particular .wich happened 3 yrs ago . due to this I was having bouts of explosive anger and suicidal thoughts I had only told my dctr about how this was affecting me outside and with my relationship , 22 yrs  own house own bikes holidays but before I cld save it all , we parted ways I just cldnt keep doing it to the person ,I loved , so I lft with a bag and a bike , I now hve nothing apart from my bike ,wich with the pips system coming in cld be taken away anytime soon , so bck to the dctr im at ,now , as far as they were concerned wen I frst started going there , they didn't want to address it , so I got angreyer and it just kept getting fed wen at dctrs . then she started questioning me driving a motorcycle ,even though I showed her a letter from my previous dctr , saying that I had been at the assessment centre for driving , .so to shorten this up . I have basically went out my way to just go they hand me my prescription for my tablets , and I leave . for the past yr and a half I tell them nothing and as far a they no . I have an anger problem that they dnt address ,I just keep having to apoligise , and sign a letter lst week , saying I wnt be abusive to anyone , unfortunately I sometimes have my dctrs and wen I go in I am sure the staff are talking about me and I leave feeling worse. wich since leaving my last dctrs.I hve attacked 2 people on a bus as I thought they were talking about me I constantly avoid being near or in places with people ,even my hospital appointments for my leg . I hve missed them all , I leave the house and my sister thnks I hve went , im in a realy bad place and dnt no were to turn . I have not had any follow up appointments for my copd ,amputation pins I hve in my bck my neck and shoulders numbness and if my dctr was asked if I cld wrk he wld say yes . of wich I no dwn to my health problems I cant . I wrked from the age of 14 to 31 and now feel like I cldnt even get a job opening boxes ,  , I can not tell these dctrs anything as they dnt want to no they hve no idea as it is not on my records that I was seeing a psycoligist and pyscyitrist and wen I brought it up nothing has been done as I was hlf way through and thought things were getting better and it wld hve continued but I hve got nowhere with them , because of the medication im on I think they just see someone who just wants these kind of tablets .  , just writing this is getting me through another day as my days consist of getting up going to bed and the same for the lst 2. 3 yrs I just thnk im at my snapping point,and hve been for a long time I just think how much can the brain take before u just melt dwn , does it happen the way u see on telly or here about. am I capable of doing smthing so horrible that people say oh he was such a nice person , of wich I no I am , but hve never felt so much on my own with trying to cope with all this by my self I had to write this I am definatly at point of no return it feels like this all the time , and there is so much worse in the wrld I feel so terrible about this to , I dnt watch tv anymore , as I cant handle it wen I see kids and war hurt people , I used to just turn over the channel . but now I just dnt watch tv .I dnt want sympathy as I thnk that is so selfish of people blowing thngs out of proportion to get a little sympathy . I dnt no how I got here , as I coped with both my accdents and went bck to wrk and now I hve to thnk hard as to how I got in thus mess I hardly wash dnt care bout my health . I wld like to go see a nother dctr but I cant face it the thought of a nother dctr who thnks I just want tablets to get stoned , or just want to not wrk , im lost to a system that is not the same wen I had a dctr that used to ask me about the way I feel .my lst dctr at time of amputation , got me through that with my ex , , I hate to burden anyone who reads this but . I def no I cant be the only person this is happening to , thnks for letting me feel like im telling some one ,  


  • VickyS
    VickyS Community member Posts: 129 Connected
    edited February 2015

    Hi Morph,

    I know you don’t want sympathy but it does sound like you’re having a difficult time at the moment so thank you for sharing with us.

    Have you thought about making a complaint about your GP? I know you’ve said that changing GP’s is something you’re not up to at the moment but you could try and encourage your current GP to be more sympathetic to your needs. If you do want to look into making a complaint then take a look at the General Medical Council website here: http://www.gmc-uk.org/, they have lots of guidance about the process.

    If you ever want to talk and get things off your chest then we are here for you.

    Vicky x 

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