Christmas — Scope | Disability forum
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lisalouise999 Member Posts: 10 Listener
Does anyone else find they get left out when the Christmas day invitations start? My family squabble over this person or that person going to their Christmas meal. My husband and I invite people who decline saying they are having a quiet one at home, then accept an invitation from someone else. Also, we don't get invited to other people's meals. I'm getting a bit down because even though it is only October, the same is happening this year. I feel like billy no mates.


  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,115

    Scope community team

    Hi Lisa
    families are weird whatever the time of year in my experience. Christmas time does bring things into sharper focus. My advice would be to have the best Christmas you and your husband can and let the rest worry about themselves.
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  • abstractLucas
    abstractLucas Member Posts: 76 Connected
    I'm with Speedinceasar - families are just weird! I know it's easier said than done, but have a think about what you actually want out of Christmas, not what you think other people have or you 'ought to' be doing. Maybe have a chat with your husband about what you did as kids and liked, what you didn't like, and try and create some traditions for yourselves that are meaningful for you. My husband and I have a Chinese takeaway on Christmas eve, and watch Scrooged - friends don't get it but snuggling up on the sofa together reminds us of life before kids! Maybe a traditional film and popcorn, or a glass or two of wine and Twister - whatever would make it an enjoyable time for you and him. I think sometimes there is so much pressure on who you spend time with and where you go that it all gets kind of twisted up.
  • Lizzieloo
    Lizzieloo Member Posts: 1 Connected
    I find I get left out and don't get to go to any Christmas doos which gets me down a lot
  • Boychris
    Boychris Member Posts: 19 Connected
    I can never forget some of the Christmas's i have spent totally alone, no cards , presents, no decorations not even a Christmas dinner, i stayed in bed all day no one to talk too, no TV. not one person called to see how i was.
    I have many Christmas's like it,
     I live with my carer now we spend Christmas day alone, Her family call her, just to wish her a merry Christmas, but we are still alone, with our own company. She has  a son 13 miles away with her granddaughter i watch her face when she is not aloud to spend time with her, with the exception to 2 hours in the company of her son once every 6 to eight weeks, or more 
    Loneliness .is a problem for the sick, disabled and the elderly i know, but to be truthful i think it is a lack of compassion, some people need a reality check and should think of others. 
    Where i live now my carer and i have not spoken to any other person whom lives on this estate for the past 10 months , not one person here as knocked on the door to inquire if we are ok, need anything or even to pass the time of day, i could be sitting outside my front door and still no one bothers to talk say hallow. 
    As a nation we often wander why so many people many elderly or disabled are found Dead in their own homes some weeks or months later from the day they past.
    As a country We all should be ashamed of ourselves, we have no empathy in the way in which the disabled, the sick and the elderly are treated, We are all full of self reliance, our own importance, our on wealth,and grandeur. Trying to get one up on the person whom may lift next door or across the road, we have a do not care less attitude, for others in the community, unless when it comes to Benefits 
    and pensions free tv licences that everyone has suddenly found their voices and wont to have their say, on what we should be aloud to claim for. 
    So yes i feel totally isolated although i have a carer whom i thank her with the hole of my heart, that she has given me a home, but both of us me 63 Her 75 we are alone, we get no invites, so Christmas is just another day that will go by, like the rest.

  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
    edited October 2017
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  • cathie
    cathie Member Posts: 143 Courageous
    Just a thought plan a trip all year round could save and prepare  forget everyone else Christmas shouldn't be about feeling anything other than excited  relaxed.  Joy . F them all..can say I did it  my way  yehhh 
    Only me .. cathie..
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    I was seriously considering going somewhere else at xmas but it looks like I won't be able to. I will, most likely, be recovering from surgery. That will just make It worse. So, I will be at home, alone, no calls or contact even from family  Such a miserable time when you know most people will be eating, drinking and having fun.

    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Dasiydo
    Dasiydo Member Posts: 93 Courageous
    My pets are left out Christmas I have go to my sister Georgina family and my mum can't drive back in car so have leave cats behind hate that why other member being dogs and rabbit. I feel not fair leave Sydnee and Annabel my pet cats behind
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello another aspect of Christmas I hate gosh I said it the whole word.  I usually just say the C word.  Because of this situation.  Hate being in a family always targeted when all of them are full of booze.  I feel for those who are like me on their own and even those who have to make a decision like this.  Who to go for Cword lunch.  One time all my family starting to point score against each other.  Who puts on the best lunch and even worse buying the best gift.  I used to sit this one out because it all ended in tears and one family member would visually rewrap any present you bought them and give to some one else.  I would hide away or just leave.  Then the idea crept in lets go away to a hotel to solve any problems.  God even worse point scoring on best outfit and too expensive.  Now I could write for hours make a series out of it the comic capers and incidents.  Be on Jerry Springer our family the series a box set for all you people out their.  To see a family torn apart by jealousy and all mixed emotions under the sun.  I had to sort myself out and moved away.  Which I have done.  I am still troubled by this time of year live alone and am lonely but I do not envy being in a family.  I hope and pray for those that are like mine.
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,389 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello I am back again guess what late post got an invite for Cword do well I never it is November. The 11th.  Makes a change as if you have read my comments the other day about getting an invite C word lunch end of October.  Help where is the sanity.  I wonder if the Easter cards are in the shops yet.  Waiting for the first C word advert on telly have not seen any.  Oh just a thought C word music in the shops might be starting soon.  Where is my ear plugs.  God help everybody out their.
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.


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