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I just don't know where to start

Mogwai_ukMogwai_uk Member Posts: 2 Listener
This discussion was created from comments split from: Ask an Educational Psychologist.

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  • Mogwai_ukMogwai_uk Member Posts: 2 Listener
    edited March 2016
    I would like some advice. This is long i'm sorry. My son is 3.5 in nursery. Early on I noticed some 'querks'. Dislike of loud noises even at 20 week old in baby sensory class the bells, rattles would trigger crying. Also loud sirens or sudden noises. He was always a good baby, good sleeper, not demanding. Rarely cried unless hungry or as above re noise. Never cried to let you know he was awake. I noticed he didn't really respond to his name. Would do some things in repetative pattern like touching every brick on walls etc. Strong reactions to certain words like No (even if anotehr child was being told off). If he saw someone in an unexpected place he would react negatively ie his Grandma out shopping not at home. All stuff which he has basically overcome or tolerates better. His noise tolerance has improved over time. He doesn't have any obvious must do repetative patterns when out and about but does have repetitive play. I have had autism sat in the back of my mind since the early days. At 2 he still only had about 2-5 words. I referred him to SLT at 2 year 2 months. Took 10 months to access anything. He failed his 2 1/2 month assessment so was referred to paeds who started talking autism. In the last year we have numerous services 'support' including early years, senco. No one can say which way his assessment will go. He has lovely affection, eye contact, engages with people. Loves nursery. Just toilet trained (still occasional accidents). Copes well in busy environments and new environments. His language is still considerably delayed he is now building sentences which is great. He really struggles with pronounciation however he does try to guide us so if i don't understand ie if he is saying strawberry he will say red/green. He struggles to process questions and we have to find ways to ask so he understands. He struggles to feed himself with a spoon. Very messy but improved. Mostly i still feed him. Can't open any food packages, can't dress or undress himself. Has to be helped washing his hands and toiletting. Can't jump, still runs with toddler motion. Unable to understand simple games like hide and seek, catch/tig, catching ball. Unable to use scissors, hold a pen/pencil with much control. He is a wonderful, happy bubbly little boy who seems to be a year behind in most aspects. He was due to have his ADOS on Monday but got cancelled as someone was off sick. They are expecting an indecisive outcome. However I think one of his pre-ados speech assessors think he's going to be on the spectrum.
    My Question? We have an appointment with a EP in 1 month. Looking for a EHC to help the school support his speech and his other delays. I know he needs support but i feel under pressure to detail my childs failings when i can only see how sweet and happy he is. I don't know how to communicate what i feel he needs support with in the school environment. I just know he needs it so he doesn't become frustrated and devleop behavioural problems. I am also worried because he has no behaviour problems (so far), he will be overlooked because his needs aren't becoming a challenge. I just don't know where to start because i keep getting told if it's only speech then he won't get an EHC however it's multiple little things that together indicate possible autistic spectrum but keeps getting questioned because of his general happy affectionate self. I've recently been told by a panel member that he's not going to pass the first ehc panel : ( this was on the phone with someone who has not met him.
  • EducationalPsychologistEducationalPsychologist Member Posts: 119 Courageous
    Hello Mogwai_uk
    Thanks for your message. It sounds like you have been doing the right things in trying to understand your son's needs and get him support. Firstly, if you haven't already done so please look at www.ipsa.org.uk. Lots of useful information, including legal rights and template letters. Have you spoken with your local SENDIASS? There is also a Facebook group called 'It's Not Just You' where you can find parents that are going/have been through similar processes.
    It can be very disheartening having to focus always on the difficulties to get support. Don't be afraid to state your son's strengths; you could always add things you have done to enable him to develop his strengths.
    In terms of support at school, take each area of difficulty in turn. Think about what you do to help your son and what this enables him to do. Consider what you think he needs from an adult at school for the same to happen. You can think about lesson times and playtimes. Focus on what you want for your son's education and what you think he needs to achieve this.
    If your son has not yet been assessed by an occupational therapist then I would recommend asking your GP for a referral to explore sensory processing, fine and gross motor skills, balance and coordination.
    You clearly have your son's best interests at heart... he's lucky to have you!
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