Help!

rms030496

Hello. 

As a care worker, something an old service user mentioned has got me thinking. F1 is a female with mental ability but cerebral palsy and limited movement. M1 is a male with no physical ability but full mental understanding

F1 mentioned that they would like a sexual relationship with m1 and the pair are both in agreement that they would like this. But due to them being in a unable physical state to perform this themselves, is it the job or carers or another service to inorder this to happen? As hoisting and a person present at all times would be necessary? 

As a carer I haven't come across this and don't know the ins and outs of what is required from us ourselves but personally I woild be uncomfortable assisting with this. 

Any ideas?  

bam

Interesting question. If I was in that position I would want help. Sex is good for your mental emotional well being. I think it is almost as important as

Alex

Hi @rms030496

Your employer probably has a policy somewhere about relationships between customers. I know that Scope does - it basically says that sexual relationships are fine - and workers can assist - as long as there's nothing illegal or unethical (for example if they are underage, no mental capacity etc.).

However, if you are uncomfortable assisting then I think that's quite understandable. Your employer should respect that - and I don't think you should ever be forced to do something you're uncomfortable with. Perhaps talk to your manager about how you might be able to arrange assistance?

PSHEexpert

Hello!  Just to chip in with this - essentially, they absolutely have the right to have a sexual relationship and can reasonably expect to be supported in this.  I agree with what everyone else is saying - at the moment there's no clear definition of who would provide this support, but it's generally defined by individual organisational policy because of the sensitive and intimate nature of the issue.  It's a bit woolly.  My starting point would be to enquire with your employer and see what their take on it is.  I should also just note that, again because of the nature of the support that might be needed, this would not be something that you would ordinarily just be expected to get on and do, if that makes sense.  The dignity of the client is paramount and any arrangement would need to be carefully thought out first.  I'm getting ahead of myself though!

First things first check your employer's policy and see what it says for guidance. The conversation needs to be started somewhere, as these are two consenting adults who wish to engage in an intimate relationship and are confiding in you about this, even if it wouldn't be something you felt comfortable facilitating - your role might be that you assist in finding someone who can support them with what they need.

If there is no provision or mention in the policy then I would recommend that it is brought to a professional's meeting and discussed.   As long as the issue is treated respectfully and you have the client's consent I think it would be appropriate to look into who would be able to help them on their behalf, if they wanted that.  

Let me know how you get on - depending on what your organisation's standpoint is I might be able to point in the right direction of some external people.