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Hi Mami, any medicine which is designed to deal with behaviour is likely to have potential side effects. There are some things you can try if you haven't done so yet.
Autism is often linked with fussy eating, one small change we made was to put her on multivitamins for children. We didn't mention to anyone we were doing so but in a couple of weeks we were getting positive results back from school about improvement in her behaviour.
Something I am not 100% convinced about, though I am sure it genuinely does make a difference for some children is cutting out certain food types, for example gluten and dairy products. Personally I would recommend talking to your doctor first. Cutting down on sugar content would certainly help, if he has a high sugar diet.
Autistic children often have particular difficulties with changes in routine. They respond well to set routines and while this is not always practical in family life trying to establish some routines can help. Letting your son know in advance of changes, like when someone is coming round at least it is not an unexpected change to what they were expecting.
Sleep is also important and something that can be difficult to achieve, especially with hyperactivity. Lack of sleep can reduce coping capabilities and result in the sort of behaviour you are describing. This is because the child can become overstimulated. A good bedtime routine in helping your son to calm down and relax can help - though finding that routine can be difficult. A lot of parents have reported that specially weighted blankets help. With some autistic children certain scents can help to relax them.
Does your child have his own 'safe zone' - this is a place where he can go to be away from what is going on? Over stimulation can be a huge issue and will cause behavioural problems. My own way of looking at this is overstimulation is when the child/person is affected by their environment in such a way that they are unable to cope. A typical method of dealing with this is stimming, a repetitive behaviour that they can focus on temporarily blocking out what is causing the problem. Stimming behaviour can include rocking, rubbing hands, clapping. My daughter's stimming is subtle and can be difficult to miss completely if you are not aware of it, and most people aren't.
When my daughter was younger I would send her to her bedroom. This was her safe zone and had everything she wanted and need to calm down and regain her composure.
If these are all in place and his behaviour is still an issue - not uncommon at this age - I would suggest talking to your doctor, local chemist, regarding potential herbal remedies. Just because something is natural does not mean it is safe, or right for your son.
Not what you were asking for I know, but hopefully you will find something useful.
Hi Mami,
Thanks for your query. Just before we discuss medication -
The situation you describe is very familiar. The use of ‘rude’ and foul language can be an issue and I’ve had experience of parents and staff teams trying to get on top of this as they would with any other young person – correction, punishment and trying to teach the young person that what they’re doing is wrong and the impact on others etc.
Verbal behaviour can be very difficult to manage. I’ve worked in the community with young people who would swear and scream and the stress it causes to the people supporting them is huge. It makes you feel like everyone is looking at you, that you’re doing something wrong and that their language is a reflection of your inability to support them – or in the case of families that you’re somehow failing to raise your child appropriately when there is no ‘obvious’ disability.
Nothing could be further than the truth. Like all behaviour it stems from the difficulties the person has meeting the world in which they live in. ‘Rudeness’ is not always the best way of thinking about the language and communication needs of someone with autism- but there is no denying it’s impact.
While I cannot say based on this information “he is doing it for this reason, therefore do this” what I will say is that understanding his behaviour (in all its forms) must start from an understanding of how his condition affects him, and what this means for the situations you find yourself in. This is important right now for your specific query but will become more and more important as you say he gets older and physical management becomes much more tricky. I’ve worked with families who have had difficulties with language or aggression which have been resolved through a family member being able to **** the young person away, but this is no longer an easy option when the young person becomes an 18 year old with much more determination.
Your son is diagnosed with Autism and so is likely to be experiencing a degree of anxiety when there are alterations to his expectations of situations. (I’m being very broad here).
The scenario you describe – people visiting you at home - represents a source of stress in that it is an ‘intrusion’ from his point of view into a safe space, it is enforced social interaction which he may find difficult and stressful and it may be a break to routine which can be very important.
Managing this depends greatly on his level of understanding and ability to take in and deal with information. But overall you should be looking at supporting his anxiety (or genuine desire simply not to have people there) through a number of means.
Firstly ensure that he understands as much as is possible about what is happening. If you have a planned visit then present this information to him – visually if at all possible – that XX is visiting at seven o’clock in order to speak to you and will be leaving at 9 o’clock. Try and eliminate the anxiety caused by the difficulty in understanding what is happening.
I this situation a strategy called social stories may be appropriate (http://www.autism.org.uk/about/strategies/social-stories-comic-strips/uses-benefits.aspx). By using these you can support your son to put new events into a framework that he can understand, and most of all give him some guidance as to what he can do if he is unhappy. For example if he does not wish for someone to be there then he can leave and do his own thing until they are gone. This can be the start of teaching him a socially appropriate means of letting you know he’s unhappy or that he needs to leave a situation without inappropriate language or aggression. This may benefit you now, but will be more and more important as he grows older and patterns of behaviour like this become much more of an issue.
So in a nutshell, try and understand why this is happening from his point of view. It’s hard to understate the role anxiety plays, but also that if you genuinely just don’t want someone around then swearing at them tends to make them go away pretty quickly. Support your son to understand what is happening and what he can or should be doing. Link appropriate behaviour to a reward if possible again using a social story or other framework.
Medication – the use of medication to support people with autism is quite common. Like any tool it is something that can be of great benefit but should always be used appropriately and under the guidance of the right healthcare professional.
Most medications come with some form of side effect. The families I work with are frequently terrified of their child becoming ‘doped up’ or ‘like a zombie’. This is a million miles away from the reality usually. As I have said, anxiety can be a huge issue in autism and a medication to support that anxiety can be greatly beneficial and should be used in conjunction with other support strategies.
I have worked with several young people for whom medication has been hugely beneficial. I would advise you to discuss this with your GP who will either prescribe for you, or refer you to a specialist team who will advise on the appropriate medication but also look at the situation as a whole. Medication alone is unlikely to be the answer.
Just to mention, there is some good info in the comments about bedtime routines, the need for order etc. When discussing things like dietary supplements, restricting foods I would advise great caution. As a parent you should always seek out and explore options that can help your son. But there is also a great deal (an overwhelming amount really) of information out there, not always based on evidence and sound practice. Some of it actively harmful and preying on parents fears. Don’t pin your hopes on miracle interventions through dietary changes for example. Autism is a lifelong neurological condition and anyone promising a dramatic change based on a quick intervention should be approached with caution and some scepticism. Explore by all means, but do so with your eyes wide open.
I hope that is of some help.
Will
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