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friends dating finding happiness

brett
brett Member Posts: 2 Listener
hi , I have dystonia which is nerological condition which can make it hard for finding love and happiness, because of people see disability and run , and can make things lonely, but you find the worse bit of a condition is not so much the condition but the emotional side of how we think which plays a condition up ,and can make motivation and being positive hard to come by ,  I'm from Northampton , and find it daft that most chat sites or dating sites for disability you must pay but if you don't have a disability can find most free which find bad , but anyway hope everyone has a good day and roll on summer :) x

Comments

  • bam
    bam Member Posts: 326 Pioneering
    Hello @brett welcome to the community brett. How are you doing? I was just thinking the same thing earlier today. I looked at disabled dating sites and all the ones I saw charged money. I thought the price was a little high too. I think I probably would join one if the price was a little lower.
  • brett
    brett Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi ya, yep is bad how they charge disabled people , and so hard when you go on a normal free site and start chatting but soon has you say disability, that's it no more chat and can be very heart breaking but make you feel drawn in to your self and end up with depression etc which we don't want on top of how we are. and realy just nice to meet someone close were you can have a friend and help each other , but the lovely thing is it boosts confidence and makes you feel better in your self , than who wants someone with a disability, just sad for people realy , 
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
    edited February 2017
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • bam
    bam Member Posts: 326 Pioneering
    Hello @brett they either run off or they start thinking about how they can take advantage of you. It's true when people find out you have a disability or are sick they either run one off or they want to try to take advantage of you. It's unfair but so is life. Keep your head up Brett. It's not you,it's them. We will find someone soon.
  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Member Posts: 133 Courageous
    edited February 2017
    Hi from Fm. If you want a free to use site for disabled folk then try disabledunited.com. I have joined but I'm having technical troubles with it because you are supposed to get an activation code by email as soon as you register and I didn't get mine but it's been sorted now but I'm still having problems with my account but that's probably because I didn't fill in my profile there and then because I need to think about it first so if you join make sure you have a good think about what you're going to put in your profile first and perhaps write it down on paper first so you don't have the problems I'm having. Good luck with it. Fm.
  • bam
    bam Member Posts: 326 Pioneering
    Hello @Fundamentalist thank you very much FM. I read that you are having problems getting an activation code. I will certainly think about it before I start. Thank you very much I really do appreciate it. Just like most people on here and I'm also on a fixed income too.
  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,682 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2017
    Glad you got your activation code sorted @Fundamentalist :)
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • wendy007
    wendy007 Member Posts: 5 Listener
    Hi there I've just joined for my daughter aged 28 in Bristol and looking for help dating I will check out the above..for sure we have had no hope with sites so far..help deeply appreciated. 
  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Member Posts: 133 Courageous
    Hi from Fm. A warning. When searching for disabled dating sites beware, my security has flagged at least one such site as dangerous and therefore it must be infected with malware and I've had serious bother with that in the past. Make sure you have adequate security installed, the best you can afford, the free ones are not much use in my experience. Disabledunited is shown as ok on my system but there are others that are anything but. Also if you sign up with the above site you might need to be patient as when you register you're supposed to receive an "activation" code by email but it doesn't always arrive so if it doesn't arrive just contact the site by email and they'll sort it, they did with me. Also like I wrote above make sure you know exactly what to write on your profile, both about yourself and about what sort of person you want to find because if you don't get prepared beforehand and then you might end up like I did. I started the process only to find I was unprepared and I had to close it and I thought I could go back to it later but if you do that the dating account gets deleted as it did with me and now I've had to contact them again to get it sorted. Also do read all the terms and the privacy policy, it's not too long on that site unlike some. Fm.
  • bam
    bam Member Posts: 326 Pioneering
    Hello @Fundamentalist how are you? I know what you're talking about I was on one last week and my security also flagged it 
  • PSHEexpert
    PSHEexpert Member Posts: 170 Pioneering
    Hi all.  Has anyone had a look at Outsiders? http://www.outsiders.org.uk/outsidersclub/  Depends what you're after but it does have the added benefit of running occasional get-togethers where people can actually meet up (a bit like what Match.com does with its 'socials').

    I've also been thinking about trying to pull together a list of social/dating type groups (both online and 'in person') around the country, as something I have noticed is that there's not a great deal of publicity for things and it can be quite hard to find out where/when things are going on.  Do people think that this would be useful, or not?  
    - Gill 
  • Fundamentalist
    Fundamentalist Member Posts: 133 Courageous
    Hi from Fm. What is outsiders? Is that another "disabled" dating site, or something else, not too elitist I hope as far too many are. And I hope there's no stupid technical problems like I'm having with one such site I've tried to join but they won't answer my emails. And while it might be ok for others group activity is no good for me because of all the excruciating casual hysterics, I can only "socialise" one to one somewhere really quiet and then only with the right kind of person, i.e. not some right over exuberant loudmouth. Fm.
  • bam
    bam Member Posts: 326 Pioneering
    edited February 2017
    Hello fundamentalist, how are you? I'm really sorry to hear that you're still having difficulties with that website. I wanted to see how difficult it was to sign in on that website just now and I couldn't even get on the website. LOL I just tried to get on that Outsider website and couldn't even sign in either. Maybe all of these web sites or dating sites for disablededucational are just mailware
  • Samsungguy
    Samsungguy Member Posts: 1 Listener

    Bam, to answer your question, I can confirm that Outsiders does exist and it is not "just mailware" whatever you meant by that.

    How many times have you met people on a mainstream dating site, been messaging each other and everything are going well. Then you mention that you have a disability, and suddenly nobody wants to know you?

    When it comes to dating and relationships, society in general all too often views us as outsiders. Outsiders club was born out of this with the two fingers that we stick up to the attitude that you often find on mainstream dating websites.

    Outsiders is free to join. We support each other in our search to find that special someone in our lives. Unlike some dating apps, we don't spoon feed you with a list of matches. Instead, we are a community of like minded people who get together online and in the real world through social events. You meet real, down to earth people, who are understanding and none judgemental.

    I joined outsiders last January, by June I had met a lovely woman and we have been together ever since. It worked for me. If you want to see if it'll help you find someone too, go to http://www.outsiders.org.uk/outsidersclub/joining/, fill in the form, submit it, and you'll be invited to join the Outsiders Facebook group where you can interact with all the other members.

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