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andyj
Member Posts: 5 Listener
Is it true that if one is disabled one has to be alone for life?
Replies
Do you want to tell us a bit more about yourself? Why do you think that disabled people would be alone for life?
Senior online community officer
It must be really tough to have friends pull away from you, when I became disabled after years of chronic illness I definitely did find some people drifted away, I think they were ignorant of what disability means and perhaps were embarrassed by it?
Others have talked about their experience of dating on the community and their difficulties so you arent alone in these issues, but I do think that there are also lots of good people in the world who can look past age, gender, colour, religion or disability and see the person.
Have you tried joining social clubs to meet friends? Dating sites can be a minefield for everyone but maybe just trying to meet friends and have a good time would be beneficial? I saw recently that some dating sites have started doing cookery, craft or other classes to enable people to meet in a less awkward environment.
Senior online community officer
Try and find some one who has health problems and you will have something in common and a base to build a future on dont give up people are not all the same.
Good luck xx
Im not sure what your "diasability is". Not that it matters really.
Rejection is bloody hard. Especially when you are giving a lot of yourself to a situation or an endeavour.
Ive been through it, as have many of us. Its always a very personal thing though. Nobody quite gets the suffering like the person going through it. No ammount of empathy from others makes it any easier to get through.
Im married so dating is not a problem I face although I dare say that dating my wife again would solve a lot of the problems we encounter within our married relationship! The rejection Im having to cope with relates to employment
What ever your circumstances, putting yourself out there and competing for a mate takes balls! Many arent even getting as far as you are mate! Some blokes are still stuck in the stalls!
Okay you've had some bad experiences... Im so used to down I dont know which way is up these days so I hear where your comming from.
"Don't let it get to you mate". I know its easier said than done but Im afraid those words, a cliche though they are have far more meaning in them than we often care to explore.
It takes a bit of delving to put yourself out there in the dating game, particularly if you know people might percieve your disability as an "issue".
If you aproach the matter with cold logic though...... You have to be in the race to win it...... You have to have your line in the water to catch a fish.
Im spouting all of this as Im comming out of a train wreck that has been my life since 2009. Hmm thats 7 yrs now? Wow. No wonder my wife has been at her witts end with me.
We all have this inherrant wisdom.... We all know what we should do and how we should feel. Its just almost impossibly difficult when the emotional odds are stacked against us.
Keep looking for he chinks of light.
Maybe its time to give the dating game a rest for a while? Dont switch off your radar though.... There are other ways of finding companionship and a potential mate /partner.
if you kind of know society is a bit crap, (which it is). And you feel the odds are stacked against you, (join the club) then just look at meeting a potential mate/partner as a dice rolling exercise. I honestly think that it is that random!
its tough rolling a double six but its a certainty that it will eventually happen. Just keep rolling the dice?
if dice isnt your game try another? Move from dating to groups and clubs, as Sam suggested? loads of men and women do this to find companionship that often leads to intimacy. I used to teach a night class where some of the group were only there to meet members of the oposite sex.
Dont let it get on top of you... too many good people like yourself throw in thier towel before the bell rings ! You dont know whats around the next corner until you have a look:) Let us know how you get on eh? Good luck
you dont have any friendly advice on how to get work do you?
I ve by the way developed a talent of singing then I learned how to play an instrument of music. Now I m welcome among my groups. Good luck.