Dating sites Recommendations — Scope | Disability forum
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Dating sites Recommendations

lekysmobiledisco
lekysmobiledisco Member Posts: 4 Connected
hi, can anyone recommend any good dating that work with both disabled and ablebodied members 

Thanks
lee

Comments

  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,673 Disability Gamechanger
    edited August 2017
    I haven't ever used a dating site (because I have been married forever and there were no online dating sites before that!!) 

    It is a question we get quite often and so far I havent seen one that stands out as a site that lots of people would recommend.

    One site that I do really like, which isnt a dating site but a social group ad site is Meet Up which is searchable by area and has lots of local groups on it.  
    Scope
    Senior online community officer
  • Han
    Han Member Posts: 16 Courageous
    Hi Lee

    I'm disabled, my partner is able-bodied and we meet on tinder. I had been on other dating websites pof and match.com as well, I'd always been up front about having CP as it was written on my profile too. 

    But Meet UP is a good site to use as well, as it's more sociable.

    Hannah 
  • kward
    kward Member Posts: 16 Listener
    ive heard bad things about tinder so be carefull
  • kward
    kward Member Posts: 16 Listener
    ive recently joined plenty of fish
  • feir
    feir Member Posts: 395 Pioneering
    i'm on disabilitymatch, not found anyone i like on there though, plus most people seem to be in london.

    most mainstream dating you might get lucky on but i just notice the popular sites are being treated as hookup sites, especially the ones where people don't have to message you to get attention but can just flick through loads of people and 'like' them in the hope of getting a response.

    so, the best sites i've found are the completely free ones that aren't that popular so they aren't infested with people who aren't really interested in dating. everything going well i'm meeting someone next month who i've known for over a year, he knows i'm disabled now.
  • Neil2017
    Neil2017 Member Posts: 155 Courageous
    @feir
    Hmm. Have not tried dating sites in years. To much scamming, fake profiles or fake people as in dishonest on them.

    For me realistically it would be finding someone who was local or not mega miles from where I live. Otherwise it would cost a bomb to date ie transport plus maybe accommodation.

    have looked at the one you said, but 40 pounds for a month subs is a bit steep

    will look further thanks
  • feir
    feir Member Posts: 395 Pioneering
    @Neil2017

    i forgot dating sites are different in some ways for men @Neil2017

    that site is free for me, as well as some other pay sites, just because i'm female. £40 is excessive for one month though!! i thought it'd be around £16, most sites are.

    and yes there tends to be more 'women' out to scam men than the other way round,

    i don't recommend dating sites usually, going out to meet people works better as there's no awkward first meet, they won't be able to fake their appearance, and you can just tell better if you like each other without having to make much effort to be let down later on, but with my mobility being affected that's what i'm using. i've been single several years so have a good idea what works for me now, i noticed most men struggle on these sites also because there's an oversaturation of men seeking women, which is why these sites tend to be free for women only to encourage us to join them.

    good luck, i have the pateince to not care if i find anyone or not and often just enjoy chatting to guys i find attractive and don't mind if nothing comes from it.
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    I have tried a couple of pay for dating sites and 3 or 4 free ones. I even tried a couple of meeting sites. Imo they are all pretty much a waste of time if you are disabled and honest about it. That isn't just my opinion but also a couple of others (a lady and a man) on a well known pay for site. It's the openness about the disability that is the problem. So many simply do not admit to it and openly lie about it to cover it up, presumably having found out what a problem it causes. In my mind that makes them a liar and I wouldn't go out with them once I found out, but that's just my opinion.

    In places like this I come across quite well but once there is something important resting on what and how I type I fail badly and do not give a good impression. I will say though that I have only used dating or meeting sites when really low and miserable. As a normal rule I stick to my guns and do not entertain any idea of spending any great amount of time with a lady. I don't really care whether people agree with me on this or not and have fended off a number of persons trying to argue the rights and wrongs in my decision. It is, at the end of the day, MY decision.

    For now I can afford the alternative. When I can no longer do that I may have more miserable times and succumb to stupidity again, lol!

    One thing I have seen though.... men, especially disabled men, do come across as fairly desperate when there are open forums on such sites and desperation is never a good sign. In the healthy community it will definitely rule a man out. Disabled women though tend to be more accepting. However, disabled women  have their own issues too and are far too quick to go through the stages to relationship too quickly, long before they can really be sure about the man. This also happens in the healthy community but at a reduced speed.

    All in all I have little faith in relationships generally and dating sites in particular. I hold no faith in their survivability or in the strength of the relationships they create. Yes, there is the success rates they all claim to consider but I often wonder how many of the relationships they create last the course. My generation married for life and, in my case, it was the grass greener effect on the women that I married that broke the marriages. My one chance came just before I became seriously ill and so broke under a different sort of pressure. I sincerely doubt I would try again except, and this happened recently, I had something to give to someone without any real time to find anything better. Even then though, I still would take my time in deciding even whether to take that step initially and would never assume, as others did, that I was ready to jump in and go for it without spending a reasonable amount of face time together first. I cannot make such decisions online, I need to meet and spend time with the lady to decide if I can really mean anything to them and them to me.

    I would like to say that dating sites can help and that dating generally is a good thing. Unfortunately I can do neither. Life is complicated, relationships much more so.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • smiler43
    smiler43 Member Posts: 32 Courageous
    I'm on freedating free to.messenge browse.  Uk based.  Able bodied and disabled 

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