Dating sites Recommendations

Hi Lee

I'm disabled, my partner is able-bodied and we meet on tinder. I had been on other dating websites pof and match.com as well, I'd always been up front about having CP as it was written on my profile too. 

But Meet UP is a good site to use as well, as it's more sociable.

Hannah 

ive recently joined plenty of fish

@feir
Hmm. Have not tried dating sites in years. To much scamming, fake profiles or fake people as in dishonest on them.

For me realistically it would be finding someone who was local or not mega miles from where I live. Otherwise it would cost a bomb to date ie transport plus maybe accommodation.

have looked at the one you said, but 40 pounds for a month subs is a bit steep

will look further thanks

I have tried a couple of pay for dating sites and 3 or 4 free ones. I even tried a couple of meeting sites. Imo they are all pretty much a waste of time if you are disabled and honest about it. That isn't just my opinion but also a couple of others (a lady and a man) on a well known pay for site. It's the openness about the disability that is the problem. So many simply do not admit to it and openly lie about it to cover it up, presumably having found out what a problem it causes. In my mind that makes them a liar and I wouldn't go out with them once I found out, but that's just my opinion.

In places like this I come across quite well but once there is something important resting on what and how I type I fail badly and do not give a good impression. I will say though that I have only used dating or meeting sites when really low and miserable. As a normal rule I stick to my guns and do not entertain any idea of spending any great amount of time with a lady. I don't really care whether people agree with me on this or not and have fended off a number of persons trying to argue the rights and wrongs in my decision. It is, at the end of the day, MY decision.

For now I can afford the alternative. When I can no longer do that I may have more miserable times and succumb to stupidity again, lol!

One thing I have seen though.... men, especially disabled men, do come across as fairly desperate when there are open forums on such sites and desperation is never a good sign. In the healthy community it will definitely rule a man out. Disabled women though tend to be more accepting. However, disabled women  have their own issues too and are far too quick to go through the stages to relationship too quickly, long before they can really be sure about the man. This also happens in the healthy community but at a reduced speed.

All in all I have little faith in relationships generally and dating sites in particular. I hold no faith in their survivability or in the strength of the relationships they create. Yes, there is the success rates they all claim to consider but I often wonder how many of the relationships they create last the course. My generation married for life and, in my case, it was the grass greener effect on the women that I married that broke the marriages. My one chance came just before I became seriously ill and so broke under a different sort of pressure. I sincerely doubt I would try again except, and this happened recently, I had something to give to someone without any real time to find anything better. Even then though, I still would take my time in deciding even whether to take that step initially and would never assume, as others did, that I was ready to jump in and go for it without spending a reasonable amount of face time together first. I cannot make such decisions online, I need to meet and spend time with the lady to decide if I can really mean anything to them and them to me.

I would like to say that dating sites can help and that dating generally is a good thing. Unfortunately I can do neither. Life is complicated, relationships much more so.

TK