The Stranger Comments - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum
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The Stranger Comments

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Comments

  • ourvoices
    ourvoices Community member Posts: 47 Connected

    I'm really shocked and saddened by some of the things people have shared here. 

    If we were animals, people would want to help (e.g. ducklings stuck down drains, abandoned dogs, the ivory trade etc.) and posting their heroics on FB - instead people say hurtful and misguided things and then leave you (us) to get on with it.

    Although, I shouldn't tarnish everyone with the same brush - there are some great people, charities, support groups and other organisations who work hard to help others.

    It's a shame it doesn't filter down into everyday life.   

  • Tig
    Tig Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    I have several chronic conditions, and like many others I've had so many strange comments.
    But one came to mind as I read these. I have endometriosis, and two of the drug treatments I had many years ago caused massive weight gain as well as chronic joint problems.
    One acquaintance, on hearing I was about to have a hysterectomy and my ovaries removed told me I should ask my surgeon to do liposuction at the same time.
    Because having surgery while asthmatic doesn't have enough risks?
  • Zeezee
    Zeezee Community member Posts: 78 Pioneering
    I have already had some ridiculous comments about my three year old daughter who has quadriplegic cerebral palsy. From people actually arguing with me that her special needs buggy is just a pram so I have no right asking for disabled access and should carry it up the 7 steps.
    A doctor telling me in a very patronising and rude voice that she can't have quadriplegic cp as she just moved her leg. Seriously a Dr. at the walk in centre. I was so gobsmacked that I just explained politely that quadriplegic means all four limbs are effected not paralysed.
    The one I hear on a weekly basis and is really beginning to annoy me is when people realise she can't walk, which is everyone who looks at her at the moment as she tells everyone " I have cerebral palsy and I have to drink soya milk cos cows milk makes me poorly ". They then stop and talk to us. But most of them say " oh well she is sooo pretty, it doesn't matter about the cp her looks will get her everything she wants in life". I mean REALLY. I don't even know how to respond to such unbelievable stupidity. And so many people say it.
    I have been accused of stealing her blue badge as she is obviously too young for it to be hers.
    Had to endure a lecture about how selfish I am using the Goto trolley in Asda as it is for disabled children and not just parents who fancy using it.
    The list is surprisingly endless and my daughter is only three.
    But she has a pretty face and lovely hair so the constant pain she is in, the fact she will probably never walk, she can't coordinate her hands to feed herself even with a bottle, none of it matters because she is pretty.
    The sad thing is that it is just starting.
  • ourvoices
    ourvoices Community member Posts: 47 Connected

    Hi @Zeezee,

    I would love to tell you that it gets easier, things may well improve and we all hope that new technologies and treatments will help us manage our conditions better, but for now we have to make do.

    It is very frustrating when the medical profession gets things wrong too.  Sometimes I wonder why they don't read medical histories or look something up when they are not sure.  It's ridiculous that someone (qualified) should think that CP causes paralysis.

    Well done for staying calm despite everything - I would have gone bananas.

    I'm still trying to work out what to tell people when I open the front door and they see someone in a wheelchair.  It's the "Oh..... silence" that makes me feel like I need to explain. 


  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    I never worry about how much I upset or take a dig at healthy people for their stupid thoughtless comments. I do care about any disabled person I meet and try to support rather than criticise. We are all different though and it's often difficult to understand all the different types of disability and inevitably we all make dumb comments at times.

    I do not object to the help and assistance that Cancer sufferers get. I just wish that all disabilities  received equal assistance. Ofc, as the government seem to think the only serious problem is Cancer, that will never happen.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Barrylad1957
    Barrylad1957 Community member Posts: 99 Courageous
    edited August 2017
    @amumdoingherbest, everyone's an expert when it comes to football, motor racing, and other people's kids. My grandson has a condition which was described by professionals when he was an infant, as "very, very rare indeed"; odd then, that every single person I've ever met when he's been in my company (he's now 18) has someone in their family who has also "had that", and has had far worse experiences than we have, and all manner of wacky ways to deal with it/combat it/cure it, in ways as diverse as "cold/hot baths", "just ignoring them" all the way up to "weightlifting", and/or "karate lessons". It beggars belief, but it happens, and it will only serve to make you stronger. Personally, I admire you, and its great that you can recognise this as a symptom of other people, and consign it to the bin of meaningless, uncaring waffle. Keep on doing what youre doing. Excellent post, and thank you for sharing it.
  • amumdoingherbest
    amumdoingherbest Community member Posts: 3 Connected
    Wow it is amazing to read everyone's stories, I knew it was common to a degree but some of these stories just show what a fight we deal with/my daughter when she's old enough will deal with.

    Yes I ignore and take comments on the chin most days but sometimes that in its self is draining. Living with disability whether it you or someone you care for is one massive fight against society, I am starting to realise. 

    I hope one one day it isn't. 

    Thank you all for sharing your comments on my post :) 
  • the_velvet_girl
    the_velvet_girl Community member Posts: 107 Courageous
    When I was viewing a flat, my potential flat mate stated that my CP was caused by lack of protein in  my diet as I'm vegetarian! He insisted on making me a protein shake and a burrito despite me commenting that it would be a miracle meal if it cured brain damage! Needless to say I didn't take the flat!

Brightness

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