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Remove myself from aggressive son
mandy_r Member Posts: 4 Listener
edited September 2017 in Ask an Autism and Aspergers adviser [CLOSED]
Hi. I am looking for a way to remove myself from my son when he is being aggressive. If in close proximity he we grab me around my neck and then bit, nip etc. Although I can generally calm him down and reassure him or redirect him while he is still in a low state of agitation, if this does not work he will not let me go and continues to nip, scratch or intensely squeeze my arms and by not removing myself from his grasp and this behaviour I am allowing it to continue, however, if I try to remove myself it completely escalates the situation and I can end up getting really hurt as he gets completely distressed. My son is 13, severely autistic, moderate/severe learning difficulties (some speech - usually single words relating to food). He has no health or mobility issues but is very anxious (transition, people) and is only really motivated by food. Many of the minor but potentially aggressive incidents are around food. I feel he is dominating me by his behaviour which extends to dragging me into the kitchen a lot and pushing and shoving me towards what he wants food wise, to possessiveness if I am on the phone or computer for example, or talking to another person (including his dad). If I try to run he would run after me and the scenario would have the same outcome. I think this is learned behaviour (attention for negative behaviour i.e nipping me when younger and he would get a response). I really feel like he has no boundaries with me. We at home by ourselves most of the time so there is really just me. He has no hobbies, interests or play skills unfortunately so its impossible to negotiate with him, or impose consequences to his behaviour (at least I don't think so). Any ideas appreciated