MONEY OWED TO ME BY EX-PARTNER — Scope | Disability forum
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1leglindy Member Posts: 4 Listener

Morning everyone......not sure if I can get the advice I need on here but as you helped me with my ESA problem so quickly and concisely I am hoping that you goes!

My partner and I live together in his home (he built it and paid for everything in it apart from my personal goods). We decided when I moved in (1 year ago in Sept 2016) to split everything 50/50...bills, food etc., apart from personal clothes.  In Jan 2017 we both had our car's scrapped as they were beyond saving and looked at purchasing a joint vehicle.  I didn't have the available funds to buy a car outright and spoke about getting a loan but he insisted that he would pay for the car and I could repay him a monthly amount until it was paid off.  The car, tax and insurance came to £8,000 and I have paid him back £200 a month since Jan 2017.

We are now in the process of splitting up and I am leaving the's not anyone's fault it just hasn't worked us living together. I am trying to be adult civil and fair about everything as I don't like confrontation at all.  I brought up the car and he says as he bought it and it's in his name he is keeping it....yes that I agree with but I asked for my share of what I've already paid him £2000. less depreciation value of the car......but he refuses point blank and has even gone to the petty point of taking both sets of keys with him as he's gone to Spain for a week.  I am in no position to be able to drive as have broken my the scars infected and developed a blood clot on my leg!! 

Opinions on this would be much appreciated.......we didn't put anything in writing as trust between was good and I don't want to, in his words,  "rip him off like all women do to men". He and I have written down amounts paid etc., so there is a record of I expecting too much from him legally let alone morally??  Thanks everyone.....


  • janice_in_wonderland
    janice_in_wonderland Member Posts: 265 Pioneering
    Sorry to read about your ankle and current situation

    I appreciate your frustrations but is it worth the stress as it sounds like attempting to resolve the conflict could prove to be very tedious and ive heard of cases where it's escalated and an injunction has been charged against people like yourself... no idea if your relationship with him could end that way but it's something you may want to take into consideration and avoid because it's too easy to get falsely accused of harassment when tedious differences of opinion like this occur 

    I'm not a professional in relationships so all I can suggest as this is a personal matter to look at what options are there? he now saying £2000 you have paid him is for hiring the car whilst together? 

    As the car is in his name will you be able to free yourself from the commitment and start fresh and consider getting another car when you are in a position to? 

    Can you just tell him how surprised and disappointed you feel re his defensive decision and both live with that and go your own ways?

    wishinb you a speedy recovery 
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,793 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @1leglindy,

    Thank you for sharing this with us. I'm so sorry to hear about your current situation: it must be really difficult, but from what you say it sounds like you've been very civil and reasonable about everything you're going through.

    I hope you get to hear the opinions of other members on the discussion board, and do let us know if we can be of any further assistance. Also wishing you a speedy recovery! 
  • Markmywords
    Markmywords Member Posts: 419 Pioneering
    Hello @1leglindy ,

    It sounds as though you had a verbal contract to put half each into the purchase of the car.

    So he can't take the car from you but nor can you have your money back and stop paying. This is especially so as you've apparently had the use of it for ten months.

    He owes you half the current value of the car and you owe him another 2000 to complete your agreement. The car would be worth perhaps 6000 and half of that is 3000.

    Do you want to go to court to get 1000?

    It would be a good idea to get it in writing that he will not pursue you for any money in the future either way though.


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