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I have a problem
Topkitten
Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
I have been having a bad time recently as some might have noticed. I don't cope very well when the gloom settles in on me but usually come out of it slowly. I don't know why but this time I am stuck, not getting better not getting worse. Mostly stuff has been caught up on but has taken much longer than usual and I am angry all the time.
Even here, where I feel comfortable, I have read a few comments and had to resist being not nice back because the comments are thoughtless. They probably aren't really, just that I read them that way. I look at people and think how stupid they are for some silly reason that really doesn't warrant it.
I don't like feeling like this especially as stuff is mostly on track. I know things will still go wrong as they always seem to but even that doesn't usually make me angry. I guess it's in my head because there isn't anything physical I can link it to. No medication changes or anything I can blame either though I did skip all my tablets for almost two days at the weekend because I was in and out of sleep so much.
I don't understand it and think I need to so I can snap out of it,
TK
Even here, where I feel comfortable, I have read a few comments and had to resist being not nice back because the comments are thoughtless. They probably aren't really, just that I read them that way. I look at people and think how stupid they are for some silly reason that really doesn't warrant it.
I don't like feeling like this especially as stuff is mostly on track. I know things will still go wrong as they always seem to but even that doesn't usually make me angry. I guess it's in my head because there isn't anything physical I can link it to. No medication changes or anything I can blame either though I did skip all my tablets for almost two days at the weekend because I was in and out of sleep so much.
I don't understand it and think I need to so I can snap out of it,
TK
"I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
Replies
I, like many here, read your posts and follow your story. I wish I could do more to help but that is the limitations of a forum.
I know what you mean about getting angry at some posts ( I have probably made some poor comments ) I do to. People ask questions which seem stupid because we have answered the same Q's many times, But then I remember that I knew nothing about this stuff a couple of years ago.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, it helps to try and understand how others feel.
I have found that sometimes sleep is better than my usual basket load of meds so my times get messed up and head gets out of sorts for a while
We will do all we can to help and support you, albeit that is not much but know that we are here for you
CR
I made the mistake today of looking for a surgeon who can carry out the procedure I really need. A disk replacement instead of a fusion. Evidently there are none listed in the UK as it's still classed as 'experimental'. This means I will have to argue with the doctors next week and I am in no fit state to handle it. How do I justify them doing a procedure they won't want to do? My MH state has dropped badly.
I posted it on FB for my kids to see but ofc they haven't bothered to reply or contact me in any way. It's at times like this that I really need their support and don't ever get it.
TK
No energy, no enthusiasm and constantly tired. I know I have stuff to sort out but can't seem to get it done. Haven't even been able to keep up on the 2 or 3 sites I normally use.
I have appointments to see the specialist again and for the CT scan but haven't even arranged transport yet. Need something to kick-start me but if I do go out I come back so tired I just fall asleep.
No idea of the best way forward.
TK
TK
It sounds as though you are really stuck right now and feel you have to choose between two evils, depression or dysfunctionality, as you put it. It is good that you have this forum and are able to express yourself but I do really feel as though you need more help. I know that in previous threads we have discussed other opinions and for various reasons you don’t feel that these options are right for you.
You are the best placed person to make the decision on what is right and wrong for you.
Rebecca
TK
CR
In the meantime I have been given dates for the CT scan and Nerve Induction tests for the end of November and a date to see the specialist on 15th December. Hopefully they will then be able to set a date for surgery. The rate I am dropping things or knocking things over is rising alarmingly so I really need to get it done.
TK
It's good that you have managed to see the Chemist and they have agreed to make the changes. Hopefully this might help you. Getting the dates for you scan and the NI tests seems a positive step forward from what you were saying a few weeks ago and you have a date for the specialist.
I didn't realise that GPs made appointments that far in advance?! But perhaps it might be worth speaking with the practice manager about why this is. It might be that your GP feels there isn't too much they can help you with right now until you have see the specialist? In my experience the appointments between Christmas and New Year get heavily booked up following the Christmas close down so that makes me think that perhaps there is a reason for giving you one?
I hope things go well for you at the end of November and please keep us updated
Rebecca
TK