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knocked back :-(
hi I'm new to all of this, I applied earlier this year for the first time ever even though I hold down my job ( I need to work as I need a reason to wake up and get up, I need a purpose or I would stay festering in my bed constantly, I suffer with fibro, severe depression and anxiety adenomyosis and endometriosis and other things, my life is just agony all the time, I had my face to face assessment on Friday the 13th (of all days) and should have seen this as a sign as today I received my letter saying I hadn't been granted it its really knocked me down I feel rock bottom low and sick, the report was full of lies like she hadn't listened to a word I said and even commented that I made eye contact when speaking to her as a positive thing.... I'm fuming I was brought up to make eye contact when people speak to you I have manners just because I suffer depression and anxiety doesn't mean I don't or cant use my manners....also real depression sufferers and people in constant pain constantly will agree with me that in front of strangers and loved ones we put a mask on automatically to hide the real pain panic depression and every other nightmare of our lives from them (you cant help it) I'm so angry the amount of things she awarded me zero points is a joke she has made her own thing up as though it was someone elses report.... she even made me sit after the assessment and got me water as I almost passed out and was all clammy the day drained me but guess what ..... no mention of that!!! I'm definitely going to appeal but the thought of going through another assessment makes me want to throw up , I'm an absolute wreck right now.sorry for the rant this is all new to me and its horrible.