Ring, Ring...is Highly Unlikely!

IanHaines

Hi.

Do you ever get the impression that you are the only person who picks up a telephone and actually goes ahead and dials somebody?  Do you ever suspect that, if you did not do so, then your own phone wouldn't have no us at all in your life?  I have "acquaintances" (I call them that because they've no idea how to be friends) and one or two family members.  I swear that, if I didn't phone them, I'd probably never hear from them, again! 

The overnight hours are the worst: not counting the high pitched whistle of tinnitus, everything is so deathly silent!  All around me, in the town in which I live, folk are either asleep or on their way to it.  Out of my "acquaintances", one has known me for 42 years an she has never (not even once) phoned me, to see how I am; one has known me for 30 years (from CB Radio, in fact) and has never phoned me (not even once) to see how I am...and, so the pattern forms, and seems to reform! 

When they have a problem, the phone rings, but...after I've helped them with that problem, I know what happens next...those artificial friends busy themselves, wrapping me back up in my personal ghost town of social deadness!

I suppose this is the type of life that forms at the end of 17 years of being caged up in this house with agoraphobia, against which no therapy has ever been effective!

I'm not a newbie, but I'm glad to be back!

Ian.

cathie

Reverse the charges just to rattle things up gotta laugh or we may cry ....  

steve51

Hi @IanHaines

Welcome back !!!!!!

Yes your situation a big problem country wide !!!!

Please please contact us for "Help & Support"

Don't "Feel" on your own anymore as we are here for you as & when "Required"

Many thanks.

thespiceman

Hello @IanHaines I am like yourself.  I can identify this situation all the time.  What is perculiar is that when someone who does ring up who is supposed to be a friend or accidently ring up for something.  I had this sort of friend me more friends with him.  Suddenly sent me a text one night .  I am sitting down watching Strictly and the mobile goes off.  Next few minutes I had to say hang on can it wait.  You have not spoken to me for nearly getting on for months.  I stood me ground and about come half eight ringing me to say I am lonely the name of his ex wife got a new man and what can he do about it.  I was flabbergasted and had to say a few choices of words.  Which he could not believe his ears.  Remember I had tried and failed to contact these sort of fairweather friends.  Sent numerous texts and phone calls everytime no response.  I had enough I am now on my own but I am not being differcult and do now rely on sometimes my judgement.  I had this recently and was being used.  I do have a lad up the road who I can contact if I wish to but I know he has a partner who has similar problems like myself.  I will only ring if I have an issue or a problem with something.  I am one of these people who does not like someone being in my face.  I have good morals and Christian values and will help anybody.  Some times have trust issues with people.  I believe out there are people who are like you and me and others in our community.  Unfortunately now in my early fifties still seeking those who like myself.  In the past used and abused for everything from money and personal stuff plus my use of my car plus have suffered mate crime. Hope and pray for those like myself.  Thank you for reading this and I hope you find comfort.

IanHaines

Hi.

Thanks, folks! 

Cathie: I know them well enough to suspect that they'd refuse, call me, and they'd reverse the charges - it would become the battle of the techie stuff!

Steve51:   Thanks for that, Steve.  I don't know what your preference is in contact terms for the "Help and Support".  Posting? E Mailing?  Phone?

TheSpiceMan:  Yep...you know what this is like!  Getting the point across sometimes seems like pleading, begging or criticising, to those who do this sort of thing with us.  If I confronted them, I'd feel like I was some emotional charity case, but I frequently get angry enough to do so.  Sometimes, on the phone, I'll say to one of them, "I heard you had a GP appointment and just wondered how it went and what you were given...friends do that - ya know?"  It's never made the slightest difference, so I've tended to avoid it in more recent months.  We just cannot get across, to these people, that they are not behaving as friends do.  The odd thing, also, is that, in common telephone chats, they often show that they refer to me, to other people, as being a friend.  They need to take time out and revise what "friend" really means.  Sometimes, I'm just too hardcore proud to tell them how they are failing one of the codes of sincere friendship.  Silly situation, really.

Ian.

thespiceman

Hello @IanHaines thank you for replying.  I like you comments on GP appointments.  Had same experience I recall one lad rang me up because he seems to visit his GP for every little thing.  His words were got told off by this locum and told have to change.  Might not see me next time and will have to look at everything.  Rang me a disabled gentleman with mental health issues.  Never inquired asked about me ever.  I am in to my diet and health to keep me positive and my wellbeing.  Plus my spices and herbs.  Well he got told why not with every ounce of negativity on the phone every question.  I need someone like you I said in a few words I could get in come with me to leisure centre.  The gym that ended the chat and he stopped talking and cut me off.  I laughed out loud first time for ages.  Sorry if I was being insensitive which I was not.  I had this lad in my ears for two hours plus banging on how he was and this and that.  I had a feeling that he will never change.  I also recall seem him in the place where I live and straight away avoid me.  Which is good because he will remain the same.  I like to think I can move on and try to be positive and try and be well.