Help or not help to fulfill your life

Harp

Not talking to my parents at the moment because of many things like they don't accept me as me. It is a long story and I'm not going into it now.

One of the things my parents said and I was wondering what other people thoughts on this please, 

We minimise your disabilities to fulfil your life 

thespiceman

[email protected] thank for saying this.  You are not alone.  I had this all the time I lived with my parents.  I am now away from them and live far from this sort of attitude.  I feel for you and do understand.  No one has the right to give you hassle and demean you.  I was once told by my mother that I would not amount to much.  Never have a relationship never get any where in life.  I have proved them all wrong.  Even though the years have gone I am feel the hurt and pain.  It is your life and you can do what ever you want.  I was once told by my mother that I use my illness and disability to get sympathy and I have a chip on my shoulder.  Well I see the light now and realised that they were the issue.  I hope and pray for you

Harp

I haven't lived with my parents for many years but relied on them to help me with things I struggle with. They have done  a lot for me but on the other end they don't listen and not accepted that there are people out there and equipment which will help with my needs.

I  am now getting outside help but my confidence is dented.

I am trying to sort things out with my parents but there a lot of denial from them as well swerving around subjects. So I have suggested counselling for us all. 

mikehughescq

It can be very difficult for a parent to accept that someone they brought into the world is somehow less than perfect in their eyes. Mixed in with that is an age thing about the things we don’t talk about and a certain amount of fear on their part that it’s somehow their fault. This is all exacerbated when you push boundaries as a teenager and when you do so naturally as you get older. Add in a certain fear about how people judge them.

It’s difficult but useful to try and see, if not their perspective, then at least an understanding of where it may have come from. Understanding that can take you a long way to reconciliation without compromising who you are. 

Topkitten

Not being accepted by parents is far too common but then the same applies to acceptance by children. I think it is just a general society issue that people do not want or need to be constantly reminded of disability. They want to spend time with people who can get better, just so they don't have to face reality.

It's very sad.

TK

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Harp

Thank you all for your replies.

I do wonder if being away at a speech and language school for 8years not help with the matter.

When 1 of my sister in laws came into the family, she talked down to me, treated me like a kid, talked to me through me, teased me about my speech and said it was banter. She got ticking off for the teasing by my mum but the rest didn't, all I got don't want to upset their relationship.

Also I was told perhaps it be good to have some normal friends. Normal???? My life is normal to since I was born with my disabilities. So is my disability is not knowing the life without a disability?