Help or not help to fulfill your life — Scope | Disability forum
New to the community? Remember to read our community guidelines and our community house rules.
Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Find out how to let us know.

Help or not help to fulfill your life

Harp
Harp Member Posts: 76 Pioneering
Not talking to my parents at the moment because of many things like they don't accept me as me. It is a long story and I'm not going into it now.

One of the things my parents said and I was wondering what other people thoughts on this please, 

We minimise your disabilities to fulfil your life 
ANNE ROBINSON (1 VOICE)
https://www.facebook.com/1Voice.Vision.of.the.heart/
Everyone has the right to have a say in what ever method they use



Comments

  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    [email protected] thank for saying this.  You are not alone.  I had this all the time I lived with my parents.  I am now away from them and live far from this sort of attitude.  I feel for you and do understand.  No one has the right to give you hassle and demean you.  I was once told by my mother that I would not amount to much.  Never have a relationship never get any where in life.  I have proved them all wrong.  Even though the years have gone I am feel the hurt and pain.  It is your life and you can do what ever you want.  I was once told by my mother that I use my illness and disability to get sympathy and I have a chip on my shoulder.  Well I see the light now and realised that they were the issue.  I hope and pray for you
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes
  • Harp
    Harp Member Posts: 76 Pioneering
    I haven't lived with my parents for many years but relied on them to help me with things I struggle with. They have done  a lot for me but on the other end they don't listen and not accepted that there are people out there and equipment which will help with my needs.

    I  am now getting outside help but my confidence is dented.

    I am trying to sort things out with my parents but there a lot of denial from them as well swerving around subjects. So I have suggested counselling for us all. 
    ANNE ROBINSON (1 VOICE)
    https://www.facebook.com/1Voice.Vision.of.the.heart/
    Everyone has the right to have a say in what ever method they use



  • mikehughescq
    mikehughescq Member Posts: 7,468 Disability Gamechanger
    It can be very difficult for a parent to accept that someone they brought into the world is somehow less than perfect in their eyes. Mixed in with that is an age thing about the things we don’t talk about and a certain amount of fear on their part that it’s somehow their fault. This is all exacerbated when you push boundaries as a teenager and when you do so naturally as you get older. Add in a certain fear about how people judge them.

    It’s difficult but useful to try and see, if not their perspective, then at least an understanding of where it may have come from. Understanding that can take you a long way to reconciliation without compromising who you are. 
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    Not being accepted by parents is far too common but then the same applies to acceptance by children. I think it is just a general society issue that people do not want or need to be constantly reminded of disability. They want to spend time with people who can get better, just so they don't have to face reality.

    It's very sad.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 740 Listener
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Harp
    Harp Member Posts: 76 Pioneering
    Thank you all for your replies.

    I do wonder if being away at a speech and language school for 8years not help with the matter.

    When 1 of my sister in laws came into the family, she talked down to me, treated me like a kid, talked to me through me, teased me about my speech and said it was banter. She got ticking off for the teasing by my mum but the rest didn't, all I got don't want to upset their relationship.

    Also I was told perhaps it be good to have some normal friends. Normal???? My life is normal to since I was born with my disabilities. So is my disability is not knowing the life without a disability? 
    ANNE ROBINSON (1 VOICE)
    https://www.facebook.com/1Voice.Vision.of.the.heart/
    Everyone has the right to have a say in what ever method they use



Brightness

Do you need advice on your energy costs?


Scope’s Disability Energy Support service is open to any disabled household in England or Wales in which one or more disabled people live. You can get free advice from an expert adviser on managing energy debt, switching tariffs, contacting your supplier and more. Find out more information by visiting our
Disability Energy Support webpage.

Fancy a chat in our virtual coffee lounge?

Put the kettle on and have a chat in our coffee lounge with other members. We talk about hobbies, games and anything else you can think of!

Cerebral Palsy (CP) Online Cafe

Here's a new opportunity for people with CP or a similar disability (aged 20+) to get together and chat. The sessions are in partnership with CP Sport so you can find out more and meet people from both organisations.

Are you struggling?

Read our 'Coping with stress, low mood and isolation' support thread for a run-down of ideas on how to banish those blues and feel happier.

What do you think about the community?

Complete our feedback form and tell us how we can make the community a better space for you.

Information about COVID-19

If you have questions about the virus, please read our information and support which includes guidance on benefits, getting food and essentials and Cerebral Palsy.

Back to school this September?

Read tips on how to settle back in and handle any worries you or your children might be having this new term.