Dating and the D word — Scope | Disability forum
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Dating and the D word

NSM
NSM Member Posts: 14 Listener
I have been online dating half-heartedly for a few months. This morning I was asked out on a date for the first time in years. I haven’t mentioned my disability while we have been messaging. It genuinely didn’t occur to me. I was just having fun talking.

 Do I tell him now before we meet? Or let him find out in the same way as previous boyfriends did did before the internet - when they met me in person? People seem so much more bothered by appearance and physical perfection than they were the last time I was single.

Comments

  • Markmywords
    Markmywords Member Posts: 419 Pioneering
    If you spring it on him at the last minute he will feel deceived and angry even if he is ok with disabled people.

    Describe yourself and do an "oh by the way" but don't use the "D word."

    Good luck.
  • RSW665
    RSW665 Member Posts: 14 Listener
    Society still has a long way to go if disabled people can't talk about disability openly, I can completely understand what you mean though I've been there myself, the truth is it probably doesn't if people "fancy you" or not, it's just an obstacle in their minds.
  • amorritt
    amorritt Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Can anyone give me how do I get to have a relationship and what Web is best I had a major stroke 2015 at the time I was already on a great relationship now after Nov 2017 my relationship ended as my ex partner and I decided we could no longer carry on together it hurt us both but realised that we could not do anything my stroke made me lose my confidence my speech and how I could talk two inch of my brain was killed of but I'm back to talking but memory sucks I'm now ready again to try another relationship but don't know where to start I'm 47 and male and love a ladies company thanks for looking and hope any one can help x
  • feir
    feir Member Posts: 395 Pioneering
    i would just give any dating sites a try @amorritt and don't expect much from any of them. most are used as hook up sites i've found but there will be more women looking for a relationship on them than the men are so your chances of finding someone genuine are better than mine.

    i also think it s a good idea to avoid swipe apps, or apps/sites where the person doesn't have to look at your profile and bother to get to know you.

    i personally find forums, speciality groups, and chat sites are better ways to find people who are up for friendship, i'm one of those people who believes friendship needs to come first.
  • feir
    feir Member Posts: 395 Pioneering
    NSM said:
    I have been online dating half-heartedly for a few months. This morning I was asked out on a date for the first time in years. I haven’t mentioned my disability while we have been messaging. It genuinely didn’t occur to me. I was just having fun talking.

     Do I tell him now before we meet? Or let him find out in the same way as previous boyfriends did did before the internet - when they met me in person? People seem so much more bothered by appearance and physical perfection than they were the last time I was single.
    if you have pics on your profile i doubt you're misleading anyone. i'd personally let them find out in person how you're disability effects you (if it is noticeable at all).
  • amorritt
    amorritt Member Posts: 7 Listener
    Thank you hun I think I will just look and find when I'm out with friends sometimes you can try to hard on sites I think but thanks for your reply x
  • feir
    feir Member Posts: 395 Pioneering
    amorritt said:
    Thank you hun I think I will just look and find when I'm out with friends sometimes you can try to hard on sites I think but thanks for your reply x
    you're welcome.
    yeah i got the balance right by never logging into my dating accounts haha.

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