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NOT being allowed to do stuff for really stupid reasons.

ulrichburkeulrichburke Member Posts: 18 Connected
Dear Everyone.

2017 for me started out full of promise. I'd been moved out of Hastings, which is NOT a place you want to be when you're disabled with an 'odd face', trust me, and I was ready and raring to try all kinds of new stuff.  So I started applying for anything and everything I could think of I wanted to do - and there was always and forever a reason NOT to let me do it.  

Voluntary work? Nope - no suitable references.  Try proving yourself - I love doing computer work - by sending off useful programs etc., to voluntary places? Thanks for the programs, they're very good, sorry we can't let you volunteer for us, you've not got any references to prove you can do computer work (so what had the programs I'd sent in proven!?!) 

So OK, if I can't get to help, maybe I can get to participate.... Forget it. Nobody to go with you, no assistant, doesn't matter you don't NEED one, to participate you have to have one anyway so it costs £60 you flat can't really afford. Tried volunteering for Scope, that's right, this lot, nope, you have to pay to be allowed to volunteer for this lot, they've got a sheet of charges.  Like.... why should you have to pay to be allowed to help out? So that put THIS lot up the Swanee.

So OK.  I can't help out, I can't get to join in, maybe I can start something  with a new bunch.... Nope! I volunteered to help out at a big charity event, got turned down by the lot.  

So you end up discovering nobody wants to know you, nobody wants you to participate, nobody wants you to help out, so you start wondering why you're still around, what's the flamin' point.  And that's where I'm at now.  

If anyone can tell me how to get past these able-bodied idiots - I'd use a stronger word but then I don't think this would get posted - to actually get to DO stuff, I'll love them forever and do what they say. And by that I mean without having to pay for the privilege of being allowed to help out, I've been suckered by that one twice and there's not going to be a third time. 

If you photocopy this 20 times you'll have the story of the last 20 years of my life. But I don't give up easy. And I'm open to any and all suggestions.  I just really, really hate how  the flippin' able-bodied put sooo many pointless, artificial barriers in the way of letting you participate in any level in any thing.  

I'm  neither flesh, fowl, nor good red herring. I've got one foot in the disability world, the other in that of Able-Bodied. Neither side know what to make of me, so they all have reasons to keep me out of everything. 

If there's anyone else out there who fits this story, tell me. Maybe if there's enough of us, we can band together and get things changed. Right now I can see me going my whole life being kept out of everything just because I don't fit some arbitrary rule and the prospect is pretty scary to be honest.  I try not to get down about this too much but this year's been really bad because I've never tried so hard and been allowed to achieve so little.  

Chris.

Replies

  • wilkowilko Member Posts: 2,182 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Chris, so sorry you are being kept from being of use to society by volunteering to so many outlets but being turned away each. Have you tried the CAB it is run by volunteers who are trained to give advice? Also are you a church member, maybe able to  visiting the house bound in person or by phone if you have inclusive minutes or do home visits to help the less cumputer minded people get on line etc. Hope you find an outlet for your skills and talents soon, best wishes wilko
  • TopkittenTopkitten Member Posts: 1,263 Pioneering
    After WW2 there was a law that made businesses HAVE to take on disabled people when possible as so many men came back from the war disabled. After some years this was removed and replaced by a support system that helped businesses cope with the additional costs of having disabled people working for them. This was also removed and now businesses have to pay the costs.

    By law businesses cannot say that the additional costs are the reason but, depending on the disability, it can be a substantial amount and other reasons can always be found. It is not surprising then that many companies limit the number of disabled employees.

    I am sure that some will immediately think of trying to punish such situations by demanding or instigating punitive procedures to try to get over this. Unfortunately the knock on effect of that is only going to make the situation worse as the only real punishment is to levy fines or out of court payments to make it go away. Consequently counter-productive.

    There is no easy way to sort this situation short of the government re-instituting mandatory requirements and this is unlikely as it would end up costing the government money at a time when they are trying to pay out less.

    We are a minority and the variation of the word disability is massive when comparing one person to another. It will always be difficult to be allowed to contribute especially when we are, as a general rule, an embarrassment to healthy people in general.

    All any of us can do is to keep trying and keep our fingers crossed.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • thespicemanthespiceman Member Posts: 6,408 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2018
    Hello @ulrichburke How are you?  I know it is been hard and tough.  I am one of this community that have had obstacles and brick walls put up constantly.  Especially this time.  I am like you lets start try to do something this year.  On books of various volunteering groups.  Then I remembered what is the point.  Last year turned down all the time.  Did not fit in.  One group advertised for volunteers last year about mid September.  Gave details and the rest.  Not interested.  Then it goes on and on and on.  Over the Christmas period shredded documents and papers of volunteering associations I had applied for.  No reply no phone calls no nothing.  Got the cert back for vetting DB I think they call it.  Still waiting.  I know asked one organisation what happens now.  Six months still waiting.  Regardless of the Emails and phone calls that I sent.  Well all in the shredder.  One organisation tried to put me off.  Need people with Health Qualifications and the rest.  Got all that.  Had a go at the interview stage how did you get that?  Why that is not what we need?  Just be doing this and that.  I am not a sexist person.  All women in the organisation.  Gentlemen like myself with my health history not wanted.  Yet according to my former health trainer a gent like me need you.  Well I have tried.  Then my health failing with ESA etc.  I have put it on hold.  That is the gist of it mate.  I can and would go on.  It is like a record still here and I am now forgetting to do volunteering.  Gots lots to offer and have decided to just go on.  Plod on.  There is this community here I can support no questions asked.  I wish people in volunteering organisations stop being silly.  I am here to volunteer what exactly do you want?  I said to one very prim, proper lady.  Skirting around the issue last year.  Christmas would have helped a charity but what exactly do want?  What are you scared of?  Do I frighten you?  You are a disabled organisation are you not?  Why what is the problem?  These questions all arise in my head.  I then found out.  It is not you mate that it is them.  A lot of these organisations have the same staff doing the same stuff for years.  You suddenly arrive with your supersuit on and wham bam they can not handle new ways to do stuff.  Stepping on their toes.  I have a humour and also a wit and attitude to find ways to some things.  They do not get me.  Get reigned in by senior staff members on phone.  What have I done now I ask?  You can not say that.  So so is offended by that what you said.  Then it starts the constant harassment of anything I say or do is put down.  In the mean time found so and so who was offended I asked her politely sorry if I have offended you.  No you have not do not be silly.  I find you funny.  Never laughed so much yesterday.  I need a laugh get  stressed.  Found out it is senior staff members controlling the situation and me a humble old fashioned gentleman who wants to help.  Next moment volunteering is put on hold because of Her the senior staff member.  Guess what got loads of phone calls from people in the organisation concerned not the same.  Since you are here I have a purpose to come to volunteering and the rest of very kind supportive words.  So there it is my friend that there are people in organisations who are jealous of you and  acutely aware of your excellent talents.  That is it really.  I hope you find peace and solace.  Remember don't let them get to you.  Some one wants you That is what I say to myself.  Keep hoping, keep praying take care my friend.
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