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I rather enjoy the isolation at Xmas, as much guilt as I feel for saying that.
I was on antibiotics this year so I couldn't go to my parents as they're both in their 70s and my mum had just got out of hospital so I was very scared to give them the infection I had.
I don't even put up a tree or a card, it's so cliché the depressed chick with no kids who hates Xmas and I think that's part of the reason, I do think it's mainly for the kids and it just reminds me of not having any, also so much guilt about that as my parents would be ace grandparents, makes me emotional. 
So maybe for some reasons that I need to have a look at I enjoyed being at my own home just as any other day.
Saying that I feel awful for people who are alone and it's not through choice or that they enjoy being alone. Christmas is an emotional time and I feel so much for elderly, the advert makes me cry it's a hard time of year for so many and more resources should be used. Our elders fought n died for us and we leave them on their own when all they could need is a hello, a smile or can I help?
I'm not saying we need to go out and make friends with elderly just that more needs to be done n not just foe elderly anyone who struggles through Xmas.


  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering

    Having the choice whether to celebrate something or not is great and something you should never feel guilty about. Whilst I agree that the elderly deserve support they have usually had many good times over the years to remember. The people I feel most sorry for and feel more strongly about are those that have never had the chance to have those memories.

    I think I understand your feelings over not having had children but that is not the only reason we are put on this earth. I have 3, but 2 ex-wives in getting them. I worry that I may have not done the best I could for them because I couldn't maintain relationships with their mothers but that is just the way it turned out and there is no point spending my life on the what ifs. It happened, it's over, move on. Oddly, my daughter said something about a similar situation. She has 2 children and a new partner and, for the first time, his parents have decided to include her and the girls in their Xmas, openly admitting (in jest ofc) that this may be the only way they ever have grandchildren. My point is that even when all seems lost, all is NOT lost. There are always possibilities.

    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Jazzguitar
    Jazzguitar Member Posts: 180 Courageous
    edited December 2017
    I agree. Christmas was a terrible tome for me  too. I have a very poor memory. I thought I had bought enough shopping. Bur ran out of food on Christmas Eve. It is now 27th December 2017. Only one person sent me a Christmas Card, though I sent them to all my neighbours. And to my Mother who is in a Care Home 300 miles was from Plymouth Devon Where Ilive. My ex wife divorced me after 25 years. I am an ex Social Worker for Adults With Learning Disabilities (Retired). Stay safe and see your GP. Best wishes from Neville
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,217 Disability Gamechanger
    Neville, please don't include your Email address in your posts

    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Neil2017
    Neil2017 Member Posts: 155 Courageous
    Hi @monicaxox
    i had a good Christmas Day seeing some family. It is Boxing Day that went downhill and was stressful especially when you have an in-law around who basically does not want to be there, makes no effort to do anything or say anything, has any manners, etc, etc. Maybe I am to judgemental but found I did not sleep very well last night as it rang through my head. So consequently I see the vulgar side of Xmas.

    yes it should be for young children but sometimes do they appreciate it or is more like that film with Arnos Schwarzenegger in with parents trying to out do each other. Who knows anymore. At least it is over for another year.
  • Jazzguitar
    Jazzguitar Member Posts: 180 Courageous
    Yes. Nobody even bothered to send me me a Christmas Card. Glad you are OK. Christmas seems to be about money now. Not love. TAke very good care my very goof friend. Neville
  • monicaxox
    monicaxox Member Posts: 3 Listener
    It just goes to show how all very different our days were, it's all very strange to me the whole Xmas n new year buzz train people seem to get on, I just don't, cant ever see me being all happy n jolly ect but maybe that's the myth or its my head/mind that expects everyone else to be having an auld fashion good auld time.
    It's just never been the same since I lost my sister, nothing ever has and maybe that's what I should be coming to terms with who knows but in saying that I'm glad the 1st parts over with, well glad! 
    New years pretty much the same I stay at home with my partner though I do tend to get more emotional then.
    I thank you all for all your coments, your opinions and opening my eyes and mind to others. 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @monicaxox Pleased to meet you.  Thank you for writing your blog.  I am sorry what is happening to you.  Thank you for sharing.  My circumstances I have discussed them before.  In the many blogs and pieces I have written.  Please do not feel guilty about Xmas you are not alone in the community.  I never want sympathy for my certain situation.  Although I am proud and honoured to meet so many people who share like myself about their lives.  I am grateful for the support I receive.  I am a single gentleman with no children and I have and I do experience the emotions and feelings of being alone.  Not being successful in relationships and friendships.  Then I come on to the forum where I experience the love and support of our community.  Then for a period of time I do not feel lonely.  I hope you can find peace and solace here.  I know I am. Nice to talk to you and I hope to talk to you again take care
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
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