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thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
Hello every body how all of you doing today.  I would like to talk about Mate Crime.  Nasty little crime very hard to get proof and I difficult to deal with mentally.

I first better explain Mate Crime is when a person befriends you.  Becomes your friend, then takes over your life.  Could be stealing from you.  Gaining access to your Bank Accounts.  You have given them like you would gain there support, trust .  Give them a key.  Could come into you property things go missing.  In my case little items of food like from my fridge and freezer. Plus other items.  Small cash amounts.

My story began when I moved to small rural villages.  Having no one to befriend.  I encountered neighbours all too willing to help and be supportive.

Knowing I was ill and not too good mentally, physically.  I thought I could rely on them.  Having no family.  I am sure all of us have senior moments , I remember buying that item only yesterday or day before.  That is when it starts items of food like small ones go missing.  You have planned tonights evening meal then where that punnet of Mushrooms gone or tins from my store cupboard.  Herbs and Spices.

I have had an envelope of money down stairs near me on the Kitchen Unit.  Small shop expenses or for Bus, Taxi Fares.  Where is that gone that money.  I started to get panic attacks severe anxiety.  Every time I went either out to the Rehab Clinic or my Therapy things went missing or gone.

One day I had enough I though my neighbours could not do enough for me.  Not realising they were the culprits.  I had no proof though had no evidence.  Only evidence was they had a key.  I made notes of everything in stores, cupboards, freezer.  Then when I left to go out made notes of what had gone.

I did not know what to do.  These people used bullying, intimidation to an extent that I was frightened.  It was only talking to Police at a discussion about this.  This was a support group for disabled.  I realise what the hell was going on.

I asked him for advice he said do you want me to come down.  Scared of reprisals I am totally not only getting mental problems with this but my fear is relapsing.  Telling him my story and health history.

Police will not act unless you wish to.  That is the problem.  What could I do I was coming back to a property I hated living in.  All too familiar.  I asked him to come down the Police Officer to talk about what I can do.  I had to this.

In both cases I been victim of this crime.  In two different villages.  Choice I had to make was to leave the area and start again.  Only because you can not proof it.  I was told could install camera those mini ones.

I thought I would like to share this story.  Keep safe and beware of people becoming your friend.  Are they becoming too familiar?.  Do you trust them.?  Do you have doubts?  Are items, money going missing?

In my case I had a freezer in the Kitchen got to move it into another room.  The Bedroom actually, no choice.  When I moved sent them a note asking them for the key.  Because too scared to ask for it.

They never said anything to me why would they.  They are not going to admit it are they?  The only ever asked about why the police coming down.  I made some excuse.  All the time ended up like they were in control and even when I have left both areas.  Scars are deep.  

This place I live now was asked for key ironically by a friend worried about me.  I said no had the courage to say no.

So that is the story of my experience of Mate Crime

Thank you for reading this
Community Champion
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.


  • Misscleo
    Misscleo Community member Posts: 647 Pioneering
    Had some of mate hate. Neighbour bulling me semding her children asking for money. Fruit. Bottles of pop. This nsighbour workex for the body that provides scooters in large shopping centres.
    Took 12 years before they sacked her. THEY were at fault in not dealing with her earlie 
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Misscleo Thank you for reply.  I understand that as well.  What really hurts these neighbours would involve themselves in your life.  Sitting in your lounge sipping tea or coffee.  Having a laugh, being supportive and well meaning in your eyes.  Behind the scenes taking from you.

    You taking them to work when and if they asked you.  That hurt as well because I was the local taxi for the family.  To scared to say no to scared to ask for petrol money.

    Too many times.  Even now so wary of people.  Trust issues.  Coming into my property.

    Here is one I bet some one has an experience of out there.  Before Christmas I had a knock on my door.  Went to the door no one is there.  Came back in.  Bang on window side one.  No one there looked out.  Then another loud tap lounge window, mad I was seething who is this.

    Went to the front door this guy stood there with a beard and unkempt appearance.  Hello said my name.  I said you are the hell are you.  Said his name can I come in.  No I replied do not know you.  Please note not rude but when some guy hammering on doors, windows.

    Proceeded to tell me met at this place and that centre, being persuasive.  I have never seen or heard of you.  I said do you mind and closed the door.

    I spoke to the police later by phone for advice a special Crime line for Mate and Hate Crime.  The Police informed me this is another aspect of mate crime.  You get friendly OK come in.  Reaction then He becomes friends with you.  Not realising that He might be a menace.

    Often happens to vulnerable members of society.

    I am really careful even work men or visitors.

    Take care and be safe.

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
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