If this is your first visit, check out the community guide. You will have to Join us or Sign in before you can post.
Receiving too many notifications? Adjust your notification settings.
Depression and motivation
Barbiesnemesis
Member Posts: 86 Pioneering
It is widely acknowledged that a lack of motivation is a symptom of depression. I struggle a lot with this and feel like a failure when I can't do what is advised to help with my depression or physical problems and pain. Things like exercise, sleeping patterns, eating right, etc have been suggested.. I just wish that the motivation factor was taken into account and more support was given. Does anyone else feel like this?
Replies
days of just wanting to hide under the duvet and sleep, but sleep doesn’t come.
i got a dog to make me go out, sometimes even when I know I have to take him out it’s too much.
its been a long hard winter too this year which doesn’t help, dark long days, can’t wait for the clocks to change
its like being I’m a deep dark hole and no light at the end
Before I became disabled my depression and anxiety were "normal" - long (months-years) severe episodes which required time off of uni/work, and left me completely incapable of functioning.
However, after my back injury, things have changed. My baseline is depressed and anxious at a level at which I'm mostly functional, but not productive. I descend into severe depressions, extremely high anxiety states, or a mixture of both, very quickly. They last an hour, a day, a couple of weeks... Then I go back to baseline. I'm constantly up and down, up and down... I've been assessed for bipolar, but don't have it.
The depressions are severe: I don't get out of bed (except to pee), barely eat or stop eating entirely, stop communicating, suicidalsideation, self-harm... The anxiety can be horrendous; I often can't sleep for 50-60 hours, although I'm exhausted, then pass out for 15-20. I can't leave the house, and often not even my room.
I've been diagnosed with Borderline PD, which may actually be chronic PTSD (getting diagnosised atm), which may explain all this, but I don't know. Anybody else have similar problems?
I can relate to your description Waylay, it’s a living nightmare.
I wish I could have a proper diagnosis, don’t know how to go about this.
Iv been on antidepressants for 20 years anxiety on and off but have gradually gotten worse. Suicide attempt a few years ago.
i think it’s more than severe depression and anxiety but how can I find out
it definetly is a hard long road, and people just think, oh give yourself a shake!,,
seriously do they think we want to be this way
neither did I or anyone suffering with this horrible illness x
It is a very hard road. If, magically, I got the choice to cure my chronic pain syndrome or my mental illnesses, I'd pick mental in a second.
One the main issues is looking how can you heal yourself not cure. Heal to ease the symptoms.
Being a long term suffer I have come to the conclusion of looking at everything that makes us ill. Could be the time of year. Autumn and Winter cold damp wet and miserable. How to cope on a daily basis . How to eat and be sensible. Have structures and methods that you can cope with.
Only recently understanding what makes me the way I am and how I deal with. Yes us gentlemen have days of lack of energy and get up and go . Just try to take small steps.
I see you ladies all have been talking and giving each other support. That is important.
I understand myself more over the last few years. Being part of a mental health charity. Also giving you support but they may look at your situation. Have a look a diets fitness. Does not mean gyms by way. Look at coping methods and strategies.
Could be support meetings, be being the only gent by the way. Looking at sleep medication, diet and anything else to help and assist you.
When leaving. Understand myself more, have built up a folder of things I can deal with. Most of all try to deal with the day to day which is not easy. How can I cope, house is a mess. I am too ill to cook and have a bath or shower. Want to curl up and die . Leave me alone.
I have walked a miles in the shoes. Had to do something. Make initial plan each day . Have planning in a diary. Make a plan today on Wednesday will do this if I can.
Say when I am going to eat. How and when who cares if it is lunch time breakfast. I do not get wound up. Mostly I need to know if I do not eat. Going to be ill and worse.
I have mini meals in the fridge simple to do and are filling. Plus in the freezer the same. Understand I do not wish to eat some days but I have to because. If I do not then I know I am going to be ill and make myself worse.
See my posts.
That is another solution have a coping box . Put in it what helps you through the day. Is it a favourite book or poem. Favourite CD or music. Favourite things to wear. Things to comfort and ease the stress the strain of the illness. Scented oils candles and bath foam. Have a small booklet of numbers of familiar friends who you can rely on for help and support. If having a bad day.
Make a scrap book of memories that you treasure is another solution.
Lot of it is to find the advice and comfort you need.
Please come on here to chat and get support as you all have done.
I have five amazing wonderful friends who I use the messaging service.
We all support and help each other.
That helps me as I help them..
Take care
The one and only Spiceman
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
I hate labels but if you don’t have a proper diagnosis then it’s hard to tell people, government people.
they want labels.
hope your doing ok x
I do know life is not easy and I understand that.
Keep in touch and always here to listen.
Take care
SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
Recipes
Yesterday I was just functioning and trying to pretend all was ok. Then something stupid happened and sent my mood tumbling back down. The blooding washing line broke and my bed sheets went on the mud. Couldn't fix the washing line, was something I would have managed easily , but couldn't now. Nobody wants to feel useless. Have to wait for other people to help me and it kills me inside.
Music is a good escape. Love to float of to better place when I listen to music and in my head I can sing and dance. Sorry for being a moaned everyone. I should be trying to help motivate you all.
Just having a bad day. Sunny me will be back soon x
, i devoloped an eating disorder, agoraphobia and then, my physical health. i was diagnosed severe anxiety along with severe depression.with fibro and arthrus and as the months and yrs went by other diognoses.to. i can still feel life is to much of a struggle and have thought about ending my life on many occasions. i have to fight these feelings, i now have 9 beautiful grandchildren, i am lucky enough to still have both my parent, but my dad has alziemers and my mum has Parkinson's. my brother lives with them but i worry constantly at what is going to become of them,they are both now 80. i struggle to look after myself and feel extremly guilty that i am unable to help my parents out like my brother does.this to affects my depression. ending on a better note, i do try my best not to dig a hole to big to climb out of again. my parents are not completely house bound yet and they visit me on a reg bases, reading about other people problems makes me realize that we can help each other
I look at other people and think they must have good lives as they are fit healthy and appear happy. But then we don't know do we really, what struggles and hurt they have had.
I no longer say why me as feel guilty. I've had a good physical life up to when I was 50 so that was a good run. I now have OA in all of my joints and a disk desease in my back , pain 24/7 with depression and anxiety. I follow a children's cancer charity on FB , now there's something I couldn't cope with. So I try not saying why me anymore. You too lost a child that must be the hardest pain to ever bear.
You are amongst friends here on scope , we all her trying to cope with what ever ails us and all try to help each other. Please stay in touch and I'm here if you ever need to chat.
I to am guilty of saying why me, when I look at the pain some young children have to go through and just how brave they can be, then I say
, I would take there pain as well as my own if i could, it can be so heartbreaking. Yes i suffer allot of pain in my life now but, like you, i had a good life until I reached i think, 42 apart from losing my daughter, which f course is a totally different pain and is the worse pain ever at the time but, it does get easier but that pain crops up for the rest of our life and we learn to live with it. I was just 18 when she died so not very old myself either... this was the first real tragedy in my life but Iv also had a fair good run to. i have 4 children now 3 daughter and one son... now all adults and 9 adorable grandchildren, youngets just 7weeks old...unfortunately my son is an alcholc and also mental and physical issues and hes only 38:) he to has to claim pip.
I have to be honest, i dont really mix with anyone anymore and do get very anxious at the thought of chatting and it is difficult chatting but, I'm feeling allot more relaxed on her than when i first came on, i was desperate for answers and help, im hoping i can keep chatting, im gong to have my bad days with my depression ect but, feel quite proud that i have chatted in the first place) this is a big step for me. i was always a very chatty person and would write a book when messaging others on a pc, im allot slower now as i have to stop and start becasue i to have arthritis which affect all my joints apart from my abows. Its taken me awhile to write this and my back is also say, shut up now, your note is turning into a story lol. so im going to stop again and take a rest, iv had my sleeping pills to and still wide awake. well it be great fro me chatting i really hope i can keep this up and make some lovely friends, everyone has been so kind that iv chatted to s0 far....you take care of yourself, thank you again for your lovely message and hope to chat.
im so low just now, so much negative stuff happening and I don’t kmoe what to do.
its my youngest grandsons 1st Birthday today and Iv only seen him 3 times in his short life, it’s my fault, Iv social anxiety and depression,
theres a court case next week, the person pleaded guilty to harassment etc and finally after 3 years of torment he will probably get a slap on the wrist.
im really struggling every day when all I was is peace , a long long sleep
and will ask me if I want the little ones up, if I'm having a better day its lovely to see them but, they have to bring them to my house.
without being noisy over the harassment court case, I truly hope you get a good result and find some peace over it.
please take care of your self and try to relax a little, ths is coming from someone that's one of the biggest stress heads going lol easy said than done i know
xx
thanks for for your message. I can’t even remember writing what I did!,
my son doesn’t understand but my daughter in law does try.
The court case was today, don’t know the result, computers down, but will try and find out tomorrow.
i just want peace, you’ll understand that I’m sure.
you will never know how much it means to me your message. Thank you sooooo much.
I do hope you are coping ok
Susan
im trying my hardest to occupy my mind at the moment susan, I'm struggling getting around at the moment and in an awful lot of pain so its taking me ages to type to but, being back on the pc is helping a little by distracting me and keeping my brain ticking a little. also helping a little with just reading other peoples post and knowing im not on my own struggling through life. I am the kind of person that likes to help others, i have always been like that so, if i can help someone with just one message, i have achieved something and that makes me feel a little better knowing that i might have brought comfort to someone. I'm trying to help others and hopefully, that will help me just as much:)
I do understand that you want peace and know exactly what you mean.xx
I'm more than happy to chat with you when Im able.
If i don't get straight back, please don't think i don't care or cant be bothered., I just struggling too much some days and its not always easy for me chat. feel free to private message me if you like then i cant miss any of your messages.:)
shaz xxx
your a treasure x
im pretty drained today but hopefully when I get the court resultit will hopefully put that to rest.
please don’t give it a second thought, I know people on this forum genuinely care and are a lifeline.
A massive thanks to you and everyone.
I also am her to listen, anytime.
as like you, I may not reply straight away but I try and will as soon as I can.
too much anxuand stress today so going to try to sleep!
Take cars and I Sincerely thank you x
bless you and thank you so much also..fingers crossed for the tomoz or should i say my arms at the moment, i really hope you get the result you deserve from the court. Hopefully, you will sleep through tonight, sleep tight night night and thank you so much for your friendships, i really do appreciate it. xx
Then eight years ago someone asked me why was I wasting my time away. For the first time I opened up to him explaining where I thought the source came from. Eventually with his support I learned that whilst I can't change the events I can do something about how I live my life with past events.
He suggested that I should go along to a PTA meeting with him in the local primary school. After about 6 months I started to enjoy meeting people that were previously strangers and learning how to cope and adapt to the world around me.
Cut a long story short, it was the children that made a difference to me. Eventually I was voted to be the chairman. Then three years ago the then mayor who was someone I had met previously suggested that I would make a good town councillor as I had the community in my heart.
So in May 2015 I signed up and went to the count. I stood as an independent and not expecting anything to come of it. I was elected, in fact with the second highest number of votes knocking off two long standing Tory town councillors.
I have never looked back, I have adapted my life to be able to cope. Yes I still get depressed but I now see it as not helping me go forwards. My life still has restrictions but with determination I find ways around the feeling of loneliness and depression.
Going forward I will be standing again next May as a town councillor AND as a councillor for the District!
I may bear the physical scars of the event, but the mental ones I have put in a box that I no longer need to open. I know that they are there but as time goes on they become less intrusive.
I am still fearful when I hear a loud bang, but no longer go into the flight or fight scenario.
If what I have done helps just one person to start to believe in themselves then I am a very happy guy.