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Depression and motivation

Barbiesnemesis
Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
It is widely acknowledged that a lack of motivation is a symptom of depression. I struggle a lot with this and feel like a failure when I can't do what is advised to help with my depression or physical problems and pain. Things like exercise, sleeping patterns, eating right, etc have been suggested.. I just wish that the motivation factor was taken into account and more support was given. Does anyone else feel like this?
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Comments

  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    I know how that feels Barbiesnemisis, 
    days of just wanting to hide under the duvet and sleep, but sleep doesn’t come.
    i got a dog to make me go out, sometimes even when I know I have to take him out it’s too much.
    its been a long hard winter too this year which doesn’t help, dark long days, can’t wait for the clocks to change
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  • maid08
    maid08 Community member Posts: 307 Pioneering
    i just want to go  it is harder getting up  and waking up thinking not again
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  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    @Victoriad I love that expression "pushing treacle up a hill". 
  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    I've just realised that I've put this serious topic in coffee lounge - perhaps it should be somewhere else, sorry.

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  • maid08
    maid08 Community member Posts: 307 Pioneering
    how can i be serious this place has no tea  anyway one must have a stiff upper lip we h are british what ho???anyway yep cheerful is best
  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    I'm with you on that one @maid08 :smile:  And thank you to both you and @Victoriad for reassuring me. I'm a terrible worrier, or maybe a good worrier seeing how I'm so good at it!!!
  • deb74
    deb74 Community member Posts: 814 Pioneering
    i used to suffer from really bad depression and was anti-depressants for 8 yrs. i started looking at my life and realised i was just paddling going nowhere. i made a decision that i needed to do something about it. it was hard and there were a lot of tears along the way but i did get myself out of the rut. i came off the pills and rebuilt my life. the depression will always be there in the background and i do get depressed sometimes but i am determined not to let it rule my life again.
  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    @deb74 I just don't know where to even begin, the rut is so deep. What sort of things did you look at in your life - if that's not too personal a question?
  • deb74
    deb74 Community member Posts: 814 Pioneering
    i don't know what to suggest but i just looked at my life and realised i was stuck in a rut it was as f i was in a hole and the more i tried to dig my way out of it the deeper the hole got. i knew i had to sort my life out so i just made a conscious decision to get my life back on track. i was only in my early 20's and didn't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like that. it was hard but if you are determined to do it then you will! hope this helps
  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    Thank you for replying deb74 x
  • deb74
    deb74 Community member Posts: 814 Pioneering
    i hope you start to feel more positive about things soon.
  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    I’m right in the clutches of depression right now and have been in bed all day. My friend stayed with me most of the day, looked after the dog and made sure I’d taken meds. Stood over me taking them but even that I took the wrong one.
    its like being I’m a deep dark hole and no light at the end
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  • Waylay
    Waylay Community member, Scope Member Posts: 973 Pioneering
    I've suffered from Major Depressive Disorder since I was in my early teens (only diagnosed at 19, though), and Generalized Anxiety Disorder since I was a young child. I've been on 14 different psychiatric meds since I was 19, and have been on them full-time for 14 years. Aside from a couple that had very bad side-effects (one caused me to cart uncontrollably and without warning all the time - extremely embarrassing at work, but quite funny in retrospect), each med worked for a while, then became less effective. Increasing the dose helped for a while, but eventually I'd have to switch to another. 

    Before I became disabled my depression and anxiety were "normal" - long (months-years) severe episodes which required time off of uni/work, and left me completely incapable of functioning. 

    However, after my back injury, things have changed. My baseline is depressed and anxious at a level at which I'm mostly functional, but not productive. I descend into severe depressions, extremely high anxiety states, or a mixture of both, very quickly. They last an hour, a day, a couple of weeks... Then I go back to baseline. I'm constantly up and down, up and down... I've been assessed for bipolar, but don't have it. 

    The depressions are severe: I don't get out of bed (except to pee), barely eat or stop eating entirely, stop communicating, suicidalsideation, self-harm... The anxiety can be horrendous; I often can't sleep for 50-60 hours, although I'm exhausted, then pass out for 15-20. I can't leave the house, and often not even my room.

    I've been diagnosed with Borderline PD, which may actually be chronic PTSD (getting diagnosised atm), which may explain all this, but I don't know. Anybody else have similar problems?
  • Barbiesnemesis
    Barbiesnemesis Community member Posts: 86 Pioneering
    edited March 2018
    @Waylay I have a lot of the problems you've described. I've had chronic and severe depression for as far back as I can remember. I was suicidal by the time I was 13 - I'm 54 now and still here though :/   I got diagnosed with complex post traumatic stress disorder in my 40s and the depression in my 20s. Its a hard road to travel on isn't it?
  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi 
    I can relate to your description Waylay, it’s a living nightmare.
    I wish I could have a proper diagnosis, don’t know how to go about this.
    Iv been on antidepressants for 20 years anxiety on and off but have gradually gotten worse. Suicide attempt a few years ago.
    i think it’s more than severe depression and anxiety but how can I find out

  • susan48
    susan48 Community member Posts: 2,221 Disability Gamechanger
    Barbiesnemisis,
    it definetly is a hard long road, and people just think, oh give yourself a shake!,,
    seriously do they think we want to be this way  :(

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