nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

We want to hear from you: please tell us about your experience of the online community.

Are there any links between Cerebral Palsy and an inability to ****

JennieGillies

My name is Jennie and I am 24 years old. I have mild spastic deplegia. When I have sex and also when I **** I am unable to ****. There’s always a point where the sex or **** feels really good and then it’s like I hit a wall and get super nauseous and then any pleasureable feeling goes away but I never ****.

Does this happen to others and is there any medical explaination linked to my CP that could cause this reaction?

Find more posts tagged with

Comments

PSHEexpert

Hi Jennie!

The short answer to this is: I don't know, but the long answer is: I am going to go and try and find out!

I work with lots of people with CP who have very varied experiences of sexual function, enjoyment and ****, but your experience - of nausea - is a new one to me. I wonder if there is a link with sensory processing and whether you have ever had any issues with that?

Can you park this one with me and I will send some emails?

JennieGillies

Of course! Take your time! I’m just happy to have a platform to ask the question.

I’m super reactive to touch of any kind and now that I think about it, yeah I guess I am sensitive to sensory processing. I don’t like loud noises, going down hills in cars or swinging high or turbulence on planes makes me tense up. Like I said before, be it sex with another person or **** it’s good and good and good and then all of a sudden it’s not good anymore and whatever pleasureable sensation needs to stop because it’s not pleasureable anymore and I’m super nauseous.

Are those the kinds of things you’re looking for?

PSHEexpert

Hello! Yes that was exactly what I was after - I have circulated the question out with my colleagues from the sex and disability alliance and I have had some interesting responses. It does seem that it might be A Thing. I had one response in particular from a clinician in Sweden who explained that he had encountered similar issues in female clients with CP and MS and had been advised that there can sometimes be an issue with transference with pleasure and pain receptors where there is extended friction, and suggested looking at different places/ways of stimulation (maybe more indirect, for example).

JennieGillies

Thank you so much!! This is so helpful!

mossycow

Are you on any medication?

JennieGillies

@mossycow I am right now but I wasn’t when I first noticed this

mossycow

I see, Hmmmmm. Sorry, hope that wasn't too personal. I just had similar (possibly?) experience on some medications. Drove me bananas...

Agree with above suggestion of variation...

Lizzy23

Hi Jennie & Gill,

I do not quite have the abrupt reaction of nausea that Jennie described in reaction to heightening pleasure, but everything up to it. For me, it's almost like my body can't process anything more than 'feeling good'. This includes Jennie, how you feel with turbulence and different motions - pretty much identical. I have the addition of learning to sail, however I cannot handle larger boats/ships and feel very seasick. Even when I sailed - I had to spend a couple of minutes just sitting in the boat to take in the motion, and then once started moving I cannot stay still for long as the bobbing in the water is unsettling.

So thank you for posting the question.

mancmiss

I thought sex was just the same for anyone cerebral palsy or not? I’ve been having sex since I was 16/17 and it was fine . But I find dating extremely tough in my 30s. Does anyone else struggle with dating apps? I’m intrigued to hear your experiences

Richard_Scope

Sex and they ways that our bodies respond is different for everybody, CP or non-CP. Dating apps can be a complete minefield. What are your struggles? When I was in the dating game, I found the complete lack of honesty that came with online dating sites a challenge.

MrD11

Hi, Im a transexual man with CP I have not much info about this and will really apreciate help as this is getting so frustrating for me and also a bit obsesion. With six years spastic diplegia low distal the Last revision left PCI Hemiparetic
I do not have spasms in my daily life I have a really bad rigid in back and legs but not spasms but when I try to **** there is a point in which my hand tremble and my clit starts to Hurt like pricks so before I get climax I need to stop cuse Its too painful.

I have tried lube and many kind of toys even taking meds before sex butt nothing Works. With my couple is the same when I try to reach climax but in this case I get rigid like a rock and again clit ends hurting and mu legs get spasms that I could not stop so its so uncomftable and I can not enjoy sex.

Penetrative sex have been always Hurt me so that does not work either.

I Just want to enjoy sex tell end and feel satisfied 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Plese any help would be really apreciated

Thanks

Alex_Alumni

Hello there @MrD11 and thanks for reaching out on the community, it's not always easy to do so well done, and I hope that we can help support you

I'm sorry to hear you are having a painful and difficult time with reaching ****. I'm no expert on the subject, but you've mentioned that penetrative sex has always hurt, is this something you've spoken to a GP or sexual health specialist about before?

I think society would have us all believe that sex isn't 'proper sex' unless it's penetrative/there's ****, but I don't think it's entirely true. As someone with CP myself, I'm slowly starting to unlearn this, and realise that sex is what you make it.

A few years back I went to some really interesting webinars as part of engagement with 'Crimp Camp' (a documentary on Netflix). Some sex positive advocates there suggest the idea that disabled bodies are capable of experiencing pleasure in lots of different ways, and part of that is learning to think about sex in a wider way, in parallel with queer and LBGTQ+ experiences of sex. What do you think?

Your needs are entirely valid, and I hope we can help you feel welcome and supported here. I can also tag @Richard_Scope who I'm sure can share his thoughts with you as well.

Let me know if you need anything else in the meantime, and hope you enjoy the weekend.

Alex

MrD11

Thanks so much for listening and answering me.

Well Its kind of wiried for me to speak this with doctors. Im from spain and here we have too much to learn. In fact I knew about meds cuse I taller with a woman of EEUU and she explained a lot of things to me. Cuse if it was for doctors I am great no spasms so not as bad as for them to need a surgery and no meds eithier so I had to insist them to give me something. They Just suggested me to depend on a cane to walk. Im taking pure protein and relaxing bath bombs or using special isoles Just cuse I descovered myself that they helped me.

But their solution was well u have to underestand you have a disability so if you get tired you stop, get a rest and continue doing things.

I do not know it my sexual problems must be answer by a gynecologist or neuro or Who 🙄😔

Also how can I feel that excitement and get satisfied if every time I get excited is like if my body does not feel something similar to an orgsm I get excited and I need more and more and is like if I never get tired I do not get to the top (I do not know how to explain it)

Leo_Aces

Hello @MrD11,
I wanted to reach out. I am also a transman and have Dyskinetic Cerebral Palsy. I understand that spasms can occur more during climax. Have you tried masturbating in a different position? Also if you don’t mind me asking, are you using your hands or a toy? There are many toys specifically for transmen on the market. Certain vibrations can be used without your hands. I’m actually developing a toy with activist trans Buck Angel, with the disabled trans community.
Im very happy to answer any further questions you have ♠️

MrD11

I Was wondering if there is any info to underestand how our body and nervous system Works during sex and how to reduce that overstimulation or excess of stress that the nervous system could not manage. Cuse my doc Just told me well, when you have sex you are asking your body to do something that generates a lot of stress so maybe with meds like braclofen you could get more relaxed (but no and as I Almost do not have spsasticity she told me not to get too much med Cuse it will get me even more rigid)

Leo_Aces

@MrD11 there is a condition which can occur from the prolonged use of Testosterone, it’s called “vaginal atrophy”. The hormone decreases the resilience of the vaginal tissues and the amount of natural lubrication, which can make the tissue more prone to tearing. Pain is common during ****. As @Alex_Scope says , it may be a good idea to have a conversation with your GP or sexual health clinic

Leo_Aces

@MrD11 during **** your body goes through 3 main stages:
Phase 1: Excitement. As you get excited, your heart beats faster and your breathing gets heavier. Your skin may redden. More blood flows to your genitals. The clitoris swells and the penis gets erect. Nipples harden and the vagina may get wet. Muscles throughout your body tense up, boosting sexual tension.

Phase 2: Plateau. The changes in your body intensify. Breathing, heartbeat, and blood pressure rise. Muscle tension increases even more. The vagina swells and its walls turn a darker color. The clitoris becomes super-sensitive to touch. The testicles pull upward.

Phase 3: ****. Sexual excitement reaches its peak. You feel a series of intense muscle contractions as your body releases the tension. The muscles of the vagina and the uterus contract. Muscles at the base of the penis tighten and release, releasing **** in an ****.

MrD11

No matter if its a toy or hand as it is getting excited its okay then it gets a point in which I supose it is excited at maximum or Almost so I continue to try to reach that plasure and it starts to Hurt usually and in other position I Just touch and touch it gets really big and for me is like nothing not that orgasms explosion not that trickles of plasure is Just like if you touch my hand and then my hand get tired and when I lay down I feel pain in that para I mean you have the glans of the clit and behind I think there is a nerve so that is where it hurts when I stop and I feel like a mix of uncomftable trickles and pain. (Even when I archive and reduce a bit more my rigid sensation) and aldought I feel uncomftable I feel like I need to finish like I need more.

I thought maybe I do not liberate dopamine so my body and my brain Still Waiting that sensation of end. But dispite this I do have that need to go to pee that we usually have when we finish to clean our genita its so wiried 🤷🏻‍♂️

Thanks so much for your coments and help

MrD11

Also I think that with vibration at first I enjoy but its easier than with hands for my body to feel like too stimulated and start the pain

MrD11

Think that as u described for me with phase one there is no problem. In the middle of the two my body starts to complain and if I insist to reach the third pain comes and I can not stand it