Children removed by social services due to parents disability — Scope | Disability forum
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Children removed by social services due to parents disability

Jean Eveleigh
Jean Eveleigh Member Posts: 166 Pioneering
My daughter has just turned 15 she was removed by social services and adopted against my wishes as a baby due to my (at the time diagnosed) disability - I cannot be the only one, here is my story (this video is 6 years old but still mostly up-to-date) :- 

Can anyone else relate? am I the only one?
 

Comments

  • Colourfull
    Colourfull Member Posts: 59 Courageous
    Hi Jean,

    Not the same Situation as yours but S.Services were involved.

    The Only Part I Can Relate to is that my Sister who has Schizophrenia accused my mum who has now died and my husband of S Abuse of my then 4 children.
    So all my Children had to Have a Medical when Small on My Birthday of All Days which Left Me Really Upset and Furious as their was Nothing Wrong with My Children @t all they were very well looked after.
    After the Medicals the Case was Dropped No Proof.
    What I Cannot get over is why my Sister did what she did to me.
    And Could be why I Cannot get over what happened in 1982.
    The Even worst thing was they were accusing my family of above when in fact it was me that was abused as a teenager by my brother but it wasn't about me only my kids so was a double what I had to deal with n still don't know how to deal with the above.
    Any helpfully ideas would be usefully.

    Colourfull.

  • MilkieMoo
    MilkieMoo Member Posts: 2 Listener
    Hi Jean.
    I know you posted a while ago but I have only just joined. 
    I have a sort of similar thing in a roundabout way. 
    My grandson is in Foster Care atm. I had a viability assessment which was deemed negative by the
    social worker. I complained and wrote a 10 page correction to her assessment.  This was ignored. The main reason was due to my physical and mental health. The trouble is she only put down negatives about my health..
    Basically she saw me as an ill disabled person and not as a person who has disabilities - it' totally different with the first one being in line with disability discrimination.
    I went to court last Tuesday and had to represent myself asking the judge permission to go forward and apply for legal guardianship for my grandson. Thankfully the judge awarded me the chance to apply. I know with the Social Workers anti attitude I have everything going against me but I need to know I have tried everything. 
    It' so hard. I have looked after my grandson a lot for his first 7+ years of his life then for him to be taken away and for me not being able to see him. His want is to live with me.
    It' disgraceful!!! Xx
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    From my experience with Social Workers I have a very low opinion of them and how well they are trained. Nowadays most of them have spent many years in college and / or university, coming out with a lot of new ideas that are usually completely unworkable in the real world (this problem doesn't just apply to SW's though). People who spend their life teaching often lose touch with real world situations.

    It really is a shame that such people can make life or death judgements about other people when they really aren't capable of doing so. More often such decisions are more to protect some imagined or anonymously informed situation that often turns out to be both untrue and unrealistic. Why anyone would make decisions about children from any anonymous accusation is really laughable as most anonymous accusations are made just out of spite or jealousy.

    For myself \I was treated badly by 2 experienced Social Workers and then was completely screwed over by a trainee Social Worker who simply had no idea what she was supposed to do or how she was supposed to do it. Complaints about them are handled internally so that they can cover up the plethitude of mistakes they make and they are quite capable of lying and putting compete fabrications illegally into people's records to cover up such mistakes (as has happened to me). Such actions can not only make life difficult for people but can actually be dangerous to them (as has also happened to me).

    I feel sorry for anyone that has problems with Social Workers because it can be so damaging to them, often for no reason whatsoever.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • clarabelle
    clarabelle Member Posts: 71 Courageous
    I lost my grandchildren to adoption because I'm physically disabled. 

    If you are in this process tape everything,;including meetings with the cafcass guardian.  

    The bottom line for courts is financial cost,;but they won't admit it. 

    Children's services should class your grandson as a child in need and assess your situation as such and offer support.

    Try to get your doctor and health visitor to write to them, and speak to the family rights group. 

    The recorder, not even a judge,;in my case, wrote in his statement that 'specific legislation does apply' - he was referring to the equality act.

    You should be able to get legal aid for a lawyer to help you with the process. 

    And get 3 references from people that have known you as a parent,  grandparent etc,;as well as an employee to submit to the court. 

    Good luck 
  • clarabelle
    clarabelle Member Posts: 71 Courageous
    I'm well aware of the context in which they operate.  Budget cuts are not an excuse to ignore their statutory responsibilities,  tell lies or fail to act according to the ethical standards set by their professional body.   Their own annual conference has said as much. 
    There are plenty of national reports stating that children are ending up in care/adopted not for safeguarding reasons but for lack of appropriate and statutory support. 
    Lower courts and cafcass are often complicit and the head of the family division has repeatedly warned circuit judges about this.with regard to continued direct contact, again the head of the family division has been clear this should be happening and should be based on the relationship between the child and the adult - that the adopters wishes are irrelevant.  
  • Newal
    Newal Member Posts: 1 Listener
    Very easy to criticise social workers without knowing the context in which they operate. Public sector cuts have limited the non-statutory things they can offer and they’re increasing driven into a process driven environment with little time or support from managers who need to tick boxes to survive. Nobody wins.

    but that doesnt give them a right to fabricate the evidence and take people children
  • Jean Eveleigh
    Jean Eveleigh Member Posts: 166 Pioneering
    I stayed away from this thread for a very long time as the subject is painful however to answer the question directly - Was consent given for the above video to be posted for example?  I DO NOT need to get permission to post my own video on my own thread.

    Thank you to those of you who have commented to assure me I am not alone - I did actually find the support I was looking for here elsewhere which is the other reason I stayed away from here for so long.
  • Jean Eveleigh
    Jean Eveleigh Member Posts: 166 Pioneering
    For @Colourfull @MilkieMoo and @clarabelle

    I thought I would give you all an update and possibly a glimmer of hope, My daughter is now 19 and in October last year (2021) she reached out to me on Facebook and instigated contact, we have been in contact either via text, whatsapp or voice call at least once a week ever since - I am taking things slowly and working at her pace so as not to overwhelm her.

    I was correct in keeping all the letters I wrote and sent to her as I could send them again via e-mail when she contacted me to prove I had kept in regular contact all her life, and promised to answer any and all questions I could with honesty even if that made me look bad or was painful as she deserved to know what had happened.
  • Jean Eveleigh
    Jean Eveleigh Member Posts: 166 Pioneering
    Further update:- we are having our first face to face meeting (since 2005) at the end of this month.

    Contact on whats-app, text and phone calls is steady and feels quite normal, she calls me mom sometimes and we say I love you to each other.

    For those of you still hoping, on the bad days hold on to that hope, there have been days over the years it has been the only thing that kept me alive and now I am experiencing the reward
  • Teddybear12
    Teddybear12 Member, Community Co-Production Group Posts: 8,385 Disability Gamechanger
    edited July 20
    Hi @JeanEveleigh Wonderful news. Good luck with your meeting. Take care.
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 9,696 Scope online community team
    That sounds like really positive news @Jean Eveleigh :) 

    How are you feeling about the face to face meeting? If it were me, I think I'd feel a mix of nervousness and excitement. 
    Online Community Coordinator, she/her

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  • Stellar
    Stellar Member Posts: 39 Connected
    I've only just seen this thread but so sorry this happened to you @Jean Eveleigh.
    It's good you've managed to reconnect with your daughter, hope the meeting goes well.
  • Biblioklept
    Biblioklept Member Posts: 2,410 Pioneering
    Good luck for the meeting @Jean Eveleigh <3 

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